Personal care

[towergirl3]

Hi,
I care for both my parents who have alzheimers, i am supported by a private care agency. I am concerned about the fact that both refuse any personal care that is offered therefore they are not getting washed/showered. The agency said that they offer but both refuse, they now say they are concerned for mums health and welfare. I don’t have any other support and don’t know who to contact regarding this. I feel like i am failing to care properly for them as a result of this. Occasionally mum will allow me to wash her hair or do her nails but wont allow anything else. Getting her to change her clothes is a battle. I would appreciate any advice or suggestions as to who i could contact for further support. The memory clinic discharged them both and since then i have been left to get on with it. Its been 5 years now since i became their carer.

 

[karaokePete]

That is a problem for you but due to the fact that health and welfare have now been mentioned I wonder if it may be time for a full needs assessment and carers assessment. In the hope that it is of some use to you here's a link to the AS Factsheet about thishttps://www.alzheimers.org.uk/download/downloads/id/1812/factsheet_assessment_for_care_in_support_in_england.pdf

 

[Bod]

You need to be present for any assessment, and be prepared to speak up!
The truth must out, Your parents will say all sorts of crazy things, "Yes we both bathe 3 times a week" "Only last Sunday I cooked a full roast dinner for us both."
Some Assessors, might see through it. Most, either for an easy life, or are unskilled at Dementia will take them at their word. Which will not help you! Describe the worse times(as being normal).

Bod

 

[Rosettastone57]

My MIL can wash herself of sorts but refuses help from carers and any adaptation of the bathroom etc. This has been the same since 2013. She has only just been persuaded by a carer to allow them to help with washing her hair. And then it depends on her mood as to whether she'll agree on a particular day. As she doesn't smell I don't fret about it

 

[davidsitges]

Useful comments here from other carers. My husband has started refusing to see doctors and to do medical tests. The solution is to wait for him to have a good day! And find more support - you can never have enough.

 

[Dee62]

Hi, unfortunately Social Services & agency carers cannot make anyone do what they do not want to do but it is worth having a chat with them to see if they can persuade your parents to do things. By this I mean instead of saying to your parents "how about a wash/shower?" that they get a bowl of water, flannels, soap, etc and place near the person, then saying something like "would you like to help me do this and then I'll give your back a lovely wash?". It's all about coaxing and letting them think that they are helping the carer and the reward is a back wash....who doesn't like their back being washed! Then they can hopefully build up to having a shower. In my 8yrs of being a Carer and being fortunate to have Dementia Training this tactic usually worked most of the time. Good luck, I hope you can get results, if not this way then another.

 

[towergirl3]

Hi, unfortunately Social Services & agency carers cannot make anyone do what they do not want to do but it is worth having a chat with them to see if they can persuade your parents to do things. By this I mean instead of saying to your parents "how about a wash/shower?" that they get a bowl of water, flannels, soap, etc and place near the person, then saying something like "would you like to help me do this and then I'll give your back a lovely wash?". It's all about coaxing and letting them think that they are helping the carer and the reward is a back wash....who doesn't like their back being washed! Then they can hopefully build up to having a shower. In my 8yrs of being a Carer and being fortunate to have Dementia Training this tactic usually worked most of the time. Good luck, I hope you can get results, if not this way then another.

Thanks for your advice, will suggest these strategies to the agency carers as they are still just asking verbally then reporting that they say no, which obviously they will