A few questions...

[aurora76]

Hello everyone, I have been following this site for quite some time as my mum has Alzheimer's and we believe she is entering the final weeks. I've found a lot of useful support and information here already, but have a couple of questions that I hope can be answered.
Mum has declined quickly over the last month or so following a series of fits. Her GP has modified her medication to a point where she only takes what is absolutely necessary and she is kept comfortable. This last fortnight she has pretty much stopped eating apart from a couple of teaspoons of porridge or yogurt at breakfast time. Her fluid intake is decreasing and averages out at less than 400ml per day. She's had days where it's been below 100ml and often spits her drinks out or stores it unswallowed in her mouth and it dribbles out. She also rarely wakes up now and feels cold to the touch; appearing to be in a very deep sleep which remains undisturbed no matter how much noise there is around her. So question 1 is, does this sound like she is "winding down"?
Breathing wise she seems to take very deep breaths for 30 seconds or so, then it looks like she stops completely for a while, before resuming with the deep breaths... is this normal? The breaths are very controlled, not like panting.
I've read a lot of posts where "End of Life meds" are mentioned. What exactly are these, and when are they prescribed? There has been no mention of these so far for mum.
My family and I are doing everything we can for mum. Visiting daily and talking to her, even though there's no reaction at all. We've each told her how much we love her and how it's OK for her to stop fighting. I pray that the end is as painless and peaceful as possible.
Thanks in advance for any words of advice.
Aurora

 

[LadyA]

Hello, @aurora76 and welcome. I'm sorry to hear that your mum seems to be nearing the end of her life. It's very hard to watch and wait, at this stage. We want them, for their sake, to be free of their illness, but at the same time, we are never really ready to let them go.

It sounds as if your mum is very peaceful at the moment, and I hope that will continue. End of life meds are usually prescribed and kept on hand in case they are needed as someone is dying, to keep them comfortable and pain free. So it would often be something like a syringe driver with a morphine based pain killer in, and/or something to dry up secretions so the person can breathe more easily. They are not always necessary.

Now that you've posted, do feel free to come and offload here, if you would like. So many of us have walked the same path, and know how exhausting it can be, both physically and emotionally.

 

[CraftyJ]

Evening aurora76

So sorry to hear how poorly your mum is. I hope you can get some answers to your questions but the reply from LadyA sounds very interesting and i found it useful too.

The only experience Ive had with end of life care was that of my dad 2 years ago. His quality of life had deteriorated so much and was always in and out of hospital from thed care home, mainly due to falling out of bed or being dehydrated. After 5 months of this, the consultant at A&E rang me to say how poorly he was. I said he had been on end of life care for a long while and immediately, he said they would provide him with palliative care back at the care home. I wasnt sure what this entitled but as LadyA has said, they provided a syringe drip into him giving him the appropriate amounts of medications (may have been morphine?) so his last days were in peace and painfree. I know he was kept comfortable and that helped me to cope.

Thinking of you and hope you will get some much needed support on here. Very often, its more the family that needs the support just as much as the ill person. x

 

[jaymor]

My husband was discharged from hospital back to his nursing home with end of life medication. He passed very peacefully without needing the medication but it was comforting to know they were there if he needed them.

 

[Selinacroft]

Hi Aurora
Sorry to hear your mum is reaching this stage. It does sound as though she is nearing the end. I thought I would just post as I've recently been through this with dad in a nursing home and he had also reduced fluids down to a similar level. He passed away about a week after first spitting out his medication being no longer able to swallow. He was never given a syringe driver but seemed to be comfortable in his last few days. A couple of days before he passed he was still pulling at bed clothes but the last day or two he was far more restful. I hope this helps having something to compare things to.

 

[honeybears]

I am currently posting to a thread under 'What Now' as my Mum is at end of life stage and I am surprised that she is still here from what I have read from other members going through the same thing.

She has not eaten or drank properly for almost 3 weeks now with the exception of 1 plate of food about 8 days ago and as she was only around 5 stone when the decline started, there wasn't alot of body weight to deal with in the first place but whilst she is frail she does seem to have some strength in her and the post by Selinacroft about her father pulling at bed clothes is something I could relate to as in the past couple of days Mum has been hitting out at me and slapping my hands with some force, but yesterday didn't seem to have the strength to do that but still she keeps going.

Every time I visit, I hope when I say goodbye that she finds comfort enough to know that she can let go and put herself at peace at last

 

[aurora76]

Thank you for your replies and support.
Mum sadly passed away 2 weeks ago, very peacefully and without the need for any medical interventions. It's been a very difficult time - I know I'm not alone here. I'd just like to thank everyone who posts on Talking Point - I know a lot of people, like me, have taken lots of useful advice from here. Although I've only posted this one thread, I've read the posts for quite some time.
xx

 

[Shedrech]

sad news @aurora76
my condolences
I hope there's comfort in your mum's peaceful passing
and I'm glad that TP has been a support to you

 

[Baby Bunty]

Thoughts and prayers to you and family.xxx