Hello all, Iast posted on the 'I care for someone with Alzheimer's' forum on 5 November 2017. This was about my concerns that my father was being forced into a care home by certain members of my 'family'. Social services had appointed an Advocate and a best interests meeting was arranged while Dad was in respite care. However, he was taken seriously ill and was admitted to hospital with sepsis. A few days later, bowel cancer was diagnosed which could not be treated. My father passed away at the Hospice on 8 December 2017. This was extremely traumatic to watch but my eldest brother and I stayed with him to the end. My eldest brother and my father's cousin were appointed Executors in his Will. However, dealing with our father's estate has been causing a great deal of distress due to the behaviour of our step brother and his wife. My father's cousin has now resigned as Executor because of harassment from step brother's wife: she has accused him of fraud and money laundering, both untrue. The problems seem to come from my step mother's Will: she died in 1996 and, although the house was left to her son it didn't go straight to him. Her Will allowed my father to go on living in the house for as long as he needed to. Apparently, there was some 'ambiguity' about this and a solicitor advised that one of my father's children might make a claim on the property. We have always accepted the house wasn't ours and we were never going to make a claim but, just to make sure, Dad signed a Deed of Trust to make sure the house would remain property of his stepson. Dad never told us he'd signed this document (in 2005) and it only came to our notice when stepson's wife told my father's cousin, who was still Executor, a few months ago. Dad was diagnosed with Alzheimer's in January 2017 and, by that time, was unable to explain anything for himself. Before this, we had tried to get PoA but there were problems and it couldn't go through. Stepson's wife says this Deed of Trust supercedes our Step mother's Will but they won't show us this document: they've accused us of prying into our father's private business. When they knew my father was seriously ill in hospital, they took possession of the house, without telling us, so locking all our possessions and heirlooms within. They say my father had neglected the property under the Deed of Trust, which is unfair. For most of his occupancy, he looked after the house and garden conscientiously. It was only after the Alzheimer's that he couldn't cope with maintenance but refused to leave and live somewhere more manageable. He was also resistant to outside help. Now stepson and wife are demanding my father's estate pays for an entire new boiler and central heating system, re-decoration throughput, new fitted kitchen and new carpets. They will add up the costs and make a fair offer they say. Either we accept their bill for maintenance or they'll get a surveyor who will really push up the cost they say. They have accused us of potential manslaughter for letting our Dad live there with an old boiler and risk of carbon monoxide poisoning - extremely hurtful to us in these circumstances now. Meanwhile, instead of letting us clear Dad's house, we went there today to find they'd dismantled his home, packed his things in cardboard boxes and dumped them in the garage. They have allowed us access to garage but they have behaved in a callous and insensitive way to a bereaved family who only just watched their Dad did from a horrible illness! They have made our father's co-Executor resign from harassment and hit us with a huge bill. Me and my eldest brother both suffer with mental health problems, we don't think we can take much more stress. We are now seeking legal advice. Sorry this is a long post but, please, any comments, thoughts or suggestions would be most welcome. Many thanks!
Dealing with a property dispute after father's death
- Thread starter Zanth
- Start date
What a miserable story and so distressing for you when you have just recently lost your dad. Why does death and inheritance bring out the worst in some people? I’m glad you are seeking legal advice as this is such a complex situation. It seems unlikely to me that there can be a huge bill for maintenance or improvements to the house unless there were specific provisions in previous legal documents about the conditions under which your father was able to continue living there. There is a very big difference between what might be considered essential maintenance/repairs like fixing a leaking roof and improvements/redecoration like a new kitchen.
However, I’m not a lawyer! So let yours deal with it and try not to worry too much. It’s their problem to try and prove they have a case. Don’t be tempted to pay anything or try to negotiate with them directly any more as they are clearly not amenable to a reasonable discussion or compromise. Give them the details of your solicitor and tell them all future communication must go to him/her. Otherwise you just make the solicitor’s job more difficult and add to your own stress.
The law can seem to move very slowly but it usually gets to the right decision in the end. It will show that you are serious and may even prompt the other side to back off when they see you are not a pushover and that they risk paying not only their own legal costs but yours too.
However, I’m not a lawyer! So let yours deal with it and try not to worry too much. It’s their problem to try and prove they have a case. Don’t be tempted to pay anything or try to negotiate with them directly any more as they are clearly not amenable to a reasonable discussion or compromise. Give them the details of your solicitor and tell them all future communication must go to him/her. Otherwise you just make the solicitor’s job more difficult and add to your own stress.
The law can seem to move very slowly but it usually gets to the right decision in the end. It will show that you are serious and may even prompt the other side to back off when they see you are not a pushover and that they risk paying not only their own legal costs but yours too.
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What awful people!!
I agree with Pickles that it's extremely unlikely that they have a case against your father's estate. They're just trying to get you to pay for a full refurbishment of the house. Unbelievable!
Don't pay them anything, or offer them anything. Let the solicitor deal with it.
All this stress is the last thing you need. I'm not a lawyer either but can't imagine they have a case against you (they'd show you the documents if they had).
I agree with Pickles that it's extremely unlikely that they have a case against your father's estate. They're just trying to get you to pay for a full refurbishment of the house. Unbelievable!
Don't pay them anything, or offer them anything. Let the solicitor deal with it.
All this stress is the last thing you need. I'm not a lawyer either but can't imagine they have a case against you (they'd show you the documents if they had).
Are they saying that there was something written in this Deed of Trust which your father may or may not have signed to say that he had to maintain the house to a certain order? If it doesn't - and that might be why they won’t let you see it - then he was under no obligation to do so. I’m sure his instinct was to do this anyway until he was no longer able to do so as it was his home but that’s a different matter.
If there is a clause that says he had to maintain it then why won’t they prove it by showing you the letter?
If there is a clause that says he had to maintain it then why won’t they prove it by showing you the letter?
Zanth,
I am very sorry to hear about the death of your father. You really have had a very tough time over this last year.
My thoughts are:
I am very sorry to hear about the death of your father. You really have had a very tough time over this last year.
My thoughts are:
- there is a will and the executor has a duty to carry out your father's wishes as set out in that will
- do you know whether your father was ever a legal owner of the house (either as a joint tenant or tenant in common)? A land register ownership check can be done on line and only costs £3
- the executor should have access to the house and the contents as at the very least they are part of the estate
- you (and the executor) need legal advice now.
Re-reading your post. I wonder if you're step relatives are acting legally. They should not have entered your fathers home while he was still living and I believe the way they are behaving toward you would be considered harassment.
Many thanks for your replies. The step family did enter the house house while my father was still in hospital, they had the locks changed for security they said. My step mother's Will said something about 'if in the opinion of (her) executors my father was not able to live there any longer' and then something about re-possession of the house and something about the house not being sold - all very unclear. My brother has a copy of step mother's Will. Step family say Deed of Trust supercedes this Will and was something my father signed to 'dot the I'd and cross the t's' and was just between my step brother and my father so he won't show us the document. They say this document is irrelevant now and yet they say they can claim maintenance expenses under this Deed.
Thanks for your reply. I always thought my father was not a legal owner of the house, he was just allowed to live there under the term of my step mother's Will. I knew nothing of the Deed of Trust signed in 2005. I wish my father could have been more open with us - he was always very private and I knew nothing of his financial affairs. My brother knew a little more but didn't communicate this to me.
Many thanks for all your replies. It helps to know someone is listening and we are not alone. It seems like the step family is punishing us for something but we don't know what. We should be spending this time grieving my father and remembering his life instead of being caught up in a family dispute. The funeral is tomorrow and step family will be there. It's going to be awkward to say the least.
I am so sorry you having to go through all of this at this sad time, I don’t have any advice, but, I’ve changed my will because of step family, my original stated that my husband could live in my house on my death until he died, after what I’ve been through with the step family this year regarding care for my husband who has Alzheimer’s I thought they might try this sort of thing with my family so it’s changed now. As others have said let the solicitor deal with everything because otherwise you’ll make yourself ill, good luck
I shall be thinking of you tomorrow. Horrible family situation you find yourself in but tomorrow concentrate on remembering cherished times with your dad and the loving bond you and your father shared and not the step family...x
