TODAY'S LITTLE GRUMP....... just a little

[maryjoan]

OK, so I am trying to work, I need to concentrate.... I am at my computer in a corner of the conservatory - our dining table is up at the other end.........

He says

"Where are the serviettes? I can't find them" " But where are the serviettes?" Goes on a recce to look for them... " Where did you say the serviettes are?"

I don't use the flaming things and he is only eating cornflakes........

He finds a serviette in exactly the place I have told him three times they are.


" When are we going out?" " Where are we going?" " What time are we going?" "Where is it we are going?"

answer answer answer

then

"What about lunch/" " I will need my Lunch" " Shall we have our lunch early?" "When is lunch?"

you have not eaten your cornflakes yet......

ME

" I am not bothered about lunch just yet, I am working.,......."

HIM

" But when is lunch?"

TYPICAL DAY I SUPPOSE................ Tra la la - smile - he can't help it, calm down, have a cuppa

 

[Grannie G]

I only realised, once my husband was in residential care, I then was able to read a book, the first time in over 10 years.

I was retired and had no work responsibilities.

Is there any way you can get some help and support @maryjoan so you can get some work done in peace.

 

[maryjoan]

I only realised, once my husband was in residential care, I then was able to read a book, the first time in over 10 years.

I was retired and had no work responsibilities.

Is there any way you can get some help and support @maryjoan so you can get some work done in peace.

I work before he gets up, and whilst he watches snooker on TV - but also get 2 hours enabling on Fridays for him, plus 24 hours respite once a month, so not too bad really. It's just when my mind is really concentrating on some research and he is whittering away, it get's a bit distracting. Poor ould fella, it's all come on us so quickly...

 

[Amethyst59]

Oh, I can sympathise with this so much. I have stopped some questions with the use of a whiteboard. At the moment I record four or five days main activities on it...but I can see a time when I will have to do it Day by day. Would this work for you? Not for the serviettes, I know! But for how the day is going to pan out...

 

[Laura40]

Hi, I'm not quite in the same situation as my husband is in very early stages. I think ( only just received a diagnosis and not a clear one yet) but I am struggling today just with the thought of everything. I set up a weekly routine board for my husband a while back and it helps. He is really keen to prove how much he is in control and always does all the jobs on it. I work full time, he is retired has social clubs and does most of the housework. I just finish off all the jobs he's muddled without him knowing. But last night I tried to charge my phone for work and he'd hoovered up the charger cable! I'd like to have a little grumble but I know it can't be at him. I am so emotional at the moment I had to call in work and make my apologies the first time I have done that! but I have so much work to do this can't become a habit. I really need to be able to work for as long as possible. For my own sanity as well.

 

[Sammie234]

OK, so I am trying to work, I need to concentrate.... I am at my computer in a corner of the conservatory - our dining table is up at the other end.........

He says

"Where are the serviettes? I can't find them" " But where are the serviettes?" Goes on a recce to look for them... " Where did you say the serviettes are?"

I don't use the flaming things and he is only eating cornflakes........

He finds a serviette in exactly the place I have told him three times they are.


" When are we going out?" " Where are we going?" " What time are we going?" "Where is it we are going?"

answer answer answer

then

"What about lunch/" " I will need my Lunch" " Shall we have our lunch early?" "When is lunch?"

you have not eaten your cornflakes yet......

ME

" I am not bothered about lunch just yet, I am working.,......."

HIM

" But when is lunch?"

TYPICAL DAY I SUPPOSE................ Tra la la - smile - he can't help it, calm down, have a cuppa

Oh dear it’s distracting isn’t it, I don’t work these days but it must be hard having to do work as well as care. I have a whiteboard in the fridge but OH is passed using it now I tell him any info is on there but he forgets it’s there now, so it’s always what we going to be doing today or anyone coming today, hows the money situation and the most annoying part though is when he has finished eating he then starts asking me questions whilst I’m still trying to eat and I end up having to answer with my mouth full

 

[Fullticket]

I have posted this before but the whiteboard comments reminded me: Mum is past looking at reminders. She would not look at them, if she did she would not understand what was written, if she did understand what was written she would forget in a millisecond. An inexperienced SW kept banging on about reminder boards so I found a blackboard at a boot sale that said a four letter word on it (male chicken!). I now write down mum's never to be read schedule on the (male chicken) blackboard. I am (hysterically!) content, SW is none the wiser but happy, mum knows no different.
Also on the plus side, for the last week and a half I have had helpers in to get mum up and showered/washed in weekday mornings. I can clear my emails and get myself sorted for a morning's work and don't have to keep nagging and coercing her to drink, eat, get up etc. Any queries about what are these tablets for, where am I going and why are answered by the lovely ladies who come to assist her in the mornings.

 

[Slugsta]

My hubby also hovered up the charger for my phone - and he doesn't have dementia as an excuse!

I did use a whiteboard for Mum. Even when her dementia was quite advanced, she could read the words if they caught her attention. What she could not do, by then, was make any sense of what the words meant, or what she was supposed to do with the information.

 

[maryjoan]

WHEN HE WAS WELL, WE NEVER ARGUED....... now he is snappy, and I try not to snap back - but not easy.......... but it is a bit relentless

 

[100 miles]

Maryjoan,

He isn't arguing with you. He is arguing with the disease and his faulty brain. He ran his life perfectly well for decades on end so something must be messing things up for him. Everyone on here knows this is the truth.

Meanwhile, back in the real world...It's just a shame I couldn't stop the snapping between me and my mother.

100 miles