I can't find anything like this so I wonder if anyone has experienced it. Mum has been in the Care Home for over a year and gradually deteriorating, albeit slowly. The last month or so she has been dropping off to sleep in the daytime, then would wake for a few minutes, then drop off again. She was eating all three meals and some snacks in between. Two weeks ago the Home asked me to go in for a review of her Care Plan. When I got there they asked me to write her End of Care Plan and a Bereavement form. They told me that it's normal practice and a good idea to sort these things to avoid any upset nearer the end of her care, which I didn't mind. A few days after that I received a phone call to tell me that Mum had deteriorated. I am sure they must have known something. She was in her room, in a special hospital bed, sleeping. Just continually sleeping. She was being woken as much as the carers could in order to get some liquids into her and maybe a little food. But in the last week she has been solidly ''asleep'' and not had much in the way of food/liquids or meds. I have been to see her every day and there's no change. She just sleeps although occasionally her eyelids will move a little. I am talking to her and reading to her as I believe her hearing is the last sense to go. Not that she understands what's being said anymore, but a presence is better than no noise at all. She seems to be pain free and very peaceful in her sleep. The doctor has been and told me that her chest is clear and her breathing is regular, although a little shallow. He is coming again to decide if she should be on the End of Life plan. So, my question is, has anyone come across this ''sleep'' state before? I realise with the lack of food and liquid she may have just a few days left, but it just seems so strange that she lays there in this sleep. Then suddenly she will take a spoonful of food. Her eyes don't open. So it's like she is too exhausted to open her eyes although she still feels the need to eat something. This is very hard for my dad to understand because he sees her like this and doesn't understand it. We really thought she would leave us over the weekend but she is still with us. I don't know how much longer she will be with us....so difficult to tell.
Sleeping Beauty..
- Thread starter Bettybee
- Start date
Oh Bettybee, my heart goes out to you at this difficult time.
I'm sorry I've no advice but send warm wishes and hugs to you, Mum and Dad if you could pass them on. X
I'm sorry I've no advice but send warm wishes and hugs to you, Mum and Dad if you could pass them on. X
Sorry, I can't really help either...but this is so sad for you, I didn't like to 'read and run'. When my dad was very poorly, I did ask the nurses, 'should I hope for the best, or prepare for the worst?' You could ask the nursing home staff...it is very likely that they will have had experience of someone in this 'sleep state' before. Bless you all.
Hello there
My mum has been in this "sleep" state for some time now . She does open her eyes but very rarely now and when she does her eyes are quite blank. She has a good appertite though but will eat with her eyes closed.
With the help of mums NH and her wonderful doctor I have an end of life plan in place. My thoughts on my mum is when her appertite goes I know it is getting to end .
Big hugs to you all xx
My mum has been in this "sleep" state for some time now . She does open her eyes but very rarely now and when she does her eyes are quite blank. She has a good appertite though but will eat with her eyes closed.
With the help of mums NH and her wonderful doctor I have an end of life plan in place. My thoughts on my mum is when her appertite goes I know it is getting to end .
Big hugs to you all xx
I'm going in to see Mum again this morning so I'll have a chat with them. Thanks. x
Your Mum sounds as though she is just the same. Mum is having days with no food and others with just a little. I know there will come a time when she is unable to swallow and food will need to be withdrawn. We don't want her to go to hospital. She is in a lovely comfy bed with caring staff around her in a lovely room. Why change that. I didn't realise that this could go on for a while, I really thought it was the beginning of the end. As long as our Mums are pain free and peaceful, we can't ask for much more than that. x
Like you my mum is in a comfy bed with loving wonderful care and we cannot ask for more than that
. Its now in mums notes she will not be hospitalised nor "force fed" etc. Both the NH and mums doctor agreed with me that going to hospital will not benefit mum at all and she will be given the ness to be pain free and comftable when the time comes.Sending you a big hug xx
So sorry you are going through this I know what it is like. My husband was like that for a week before he passed but he would respond to us talking to him by raising his eyebrows and a wee smile. All I can say is that it is hard but your mum will know you are there for her.
My mum too is on end of life care in her care home. She is receiving excellent care and I feel as long as she is comfortable and pain free that is all we can wish for. I have said that I do not want her to go to hospital now and not to force her to take food or liquids. I visit her every day now and am happy to sit and hold her hand and talk to her in the hope that she may understand some of what I say to her. It is so upsetting to think that this may go on for sometime but as long as she hopefully knows that we love her and can be there with her as much as we can then we have to cope. I just hope I am there at the end, it is a worry for me that I may not.
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It seems that we, or rather our Mums are in the same boat. Or should that be bed? I have been to see her this morning and on her records she ate lots of food and drink and actually said a word yesterday. It's all very strange. All we can do is love them. And support each other.Like you my mum is in a comfy bed with loving wonderful care and we cannot ask for more than that
Sending you a big hug xx
I am returning the hug. You have helped me immensely. I no longer feel like we are going through this alone. x
You are doing everything you possibly can for her. It is very upsetting but if we can be there for them and give comfort that's all we can do now. Please don't concern yourself that you may not be there. I want to be there when my Mum's time comes but we can't be there all the time. We can just hope that they will slip away peacefully when the time is right. They know we love them and would be there if we possibly could. x
I have sat where you are sitting now bettybee and its an emotional rollercoaster.
You are doing all you can
((((hugs))))))
You are doing all you can
((((hugs))))))
