New diagnosis of Alzhiemer's

[spotegg]

Hi, after about 2 yrs of my mum having trouble with her memory we finally have a diagnosis of alzhiemer's. My mum is devastated as she has always been in denial about everything. She is still quite young only 66, and is single living by herself, & then there's only me. I have a young family to look after & I also work. The doctor is now referring us to get some support, but I'm feeling quite alone & torn between my family & looking after my mother, I try & help her not to worry but at the moment she just gets so confused. Any tips or advice anyone has would be greatly appreciated because I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing! Also does anyone know what happens when you inform the DVLA, will they automatically stop her from driving. Many thanks.

 

[Oh Knickers]

Spotegg,

I am sorry to hear your mum has such a diagnosis at a relatively young age. You also have enough on your plate with a young family and a full-time job.

With these diagnoses, it will be a case of how much you can cope with. Please read Ann Mac's thread So Bizarre.

In terms of DVLA, I wrote to the DVLA regarding mother's driving as it was getting concerning. In 6 months she had hit a central reservation so hard she had popped 2 tyres, then gone on to damage all 4 corners of her car. Mother claimed it was the other drivers in the residential home. Unhappily the evidence told against her as she still had the stones embedded in the car from when she had hit her friend's pebble dash wall!

Mother had been asked twice by the GP to go for a driver's assessment which she adamantly refused. So I dobbed her in it. It did take e few weeks but the DVLA wrote a pleasant albeit direct letter saying they were rescinding her licence. No mention of who dobbed mother in it. There have been other threads on this subject. It might be worth getting your mum's car off to a garage on the pretext of it needing an MOT and then quietly getting rid of it. Just not worth the worry of her having an accident or hitting someone.

Best of luck. Others will also give you the benefit of their experience.

 

[theunknown]

I feel for you. Your mother's of an age when she could still potentially get a lot out of life. You're of an age when you should be able to concentrate on making sure your own family is getting the best out of life. I don't think it's safe for your mum or others for her still to be driving. I (and my mum) were lucky that her next door neighbour (a policeman) took my mum's car keys when she'd tried to drive off on icy roads. My mum never questioned why she didn't have her car keys and never carried on trying to drive. She was quite a bit older than your mum (80s) but I don't think it's about age. If a car's in the wrong hands it's potentially a lethal weapon. Driving gives you a massive amount of independence, so it's difficult to take that away from someone, but sometimes you just have to.