Hi, my 92 year old mum has been in dementia care for two years now. She's generally being looked after well, clean, well fed but when I visit, which is fairly frequently, I never see anyone sitting talking to her or comforting her (she cries a lot). Of course it may happen when I am not there but I have never seen it. I know the staff are extremely busy but is it in their remit to offer care that isn't just practical?
Should carers in care home offer emotional support as well as practical care?
- Thread starter ferniegirl
- Start date
Hiya ferniegirl, I'm sure it jolly well is in their remit to offer emotional support! I've seen residents upset and crying at mum and dad's CH but someone is always around to offer comfort or distraction. It must be so hard for you, have you spoken with staff about it? Lindy.
Definitely should be
Agree absolutely it should be.
The reality of carers often being 'stretched', rushing just to do the basics for all the people however, means it can often be overlooked.
Also some carers are better than others at being able to deal with that side'. I know at my mother's NH there is a certain section of carers, who have come out of an uncaring society towards the old and I find these the least sympathetic, whereas those from parts of the world where the 'aged' are held in great regard, are much better at empathy and the emotional support side.
Agree absolutely it should be.
The reality of carers often being 'stretched', rushing just to do the basics for all the people however, means it can often be overlooked.
Also some carers are better than others at being able to deal with that side'. I know at my mother's NH there is a certain section of carers, who have come out of an uncaring society towards the old and I find these the least sympathetic, whereas those from parts of the world where the 'aged' are held in great regard, are much better at empathy and the emotional support side.
I expect it is a tricky balance. When the carer's are rushed off their feet then emotional support would be difficult. Holding hands and a few comforting words wouldn't take long and could be included in their duties. But sitting down for long periods of time could be difficult because the other staff would have to 'take up the slack'. There is nothing worse than working with someone who wants to do the 'touchy feely' things and never gets their hands dirty.
I would expect that the care home could identify that there is an issue with the PWD and perhaps allocate someone to help out. In hospital they have a new dementia team who have the time to spend with patients....take them outside in a wheelchair for a change of scenery or even to sit for a chat.
I would expect that the care home could identify that there is an issue with the PWD and perhaps allocate someone to help out. In hospital they have a new dementia team who have the time to spend with patients....take them outside in a wheelchair for a change of scenery or even to sit for a chat.
Of course Care Homes should be meeting emotional needs as well as physical! It is their job to give holistic care and that entails physical, mental and spiritual support. This can be given by the staff or they can source someone else to do things they cannot (such as physio, haridresser, minister of religion).
One of the first things we were told when Mum went into her CH is that someone has to sit with her and hold her hand at nights until she falls asleep. It breaks my heart to think that this is needed (maybe that was why she didn't go to bed when she lived alone?) but I am very glad that it was recognised and acted on.
One of the first things we were told when Mum went into her CH is that someone has to sit with her and hold her hand at nights until she falls asleep. It breaks my heart to think that this is needed (maybe that was why she didn't go to bed when she lived alone?) but I am very glad that it was recognised and acted on.
Thank you all for your replies. I do think the staff are overstretched a lot of the time and have got time to pat her hand and say the odd word but I really don't think they have time to sit with her for any length of time. She is extremely unhappy and walks and walks looking distressed and cries a lot. It's horrendous to see someone you care for in this state. I don't know what else they can do for her, she is on many meds and regularly sees the doctor. She has no short-term memory at all and barely recognises anyone apart from me. I pray she will pass away soon but she still eats which is keeping her going.
There is a carer there I really don't like the look of, a huge unsmiling woman who always looks fed up and who, I think, is too strict with the patients. She lacks empathy and yesterday she was in charge of a group of patients on the terrace and just looked at her mobile phone and was snappy when trying to get someone to drink and another was being noisy. I have observed her a lot but never seen her be actually abusive. A resident said to me pointing at her "she's not very nice" but my mum has never said anything (and I think she would as she is vocal about people she doesn't like the look of). A lot of the carers are lovely in their manner though.
I will talk to the manager about more caring attention for mum but should I complain about this woman?
Your replies are much appreciated!
There is a carer there I really don't like the look of, a huge unsmiling woman who always looks fed up and who, I think, is too strict with the patients. She lacks empathy and yesterday she was in charge of a group of patients on the terrace and just looked at her mobile phone and was snappy when trying to get someone to drink and another was being noisy. I have observed her a lot but never seen her be actually abusive. A resident said to me pointing at her "she's not very nice" but my mum has never said anything (and I think she would as she is vocal about people she doesn't like the look of). A lot of the carers are lovely in their manner though.
I will talk to the manager about more caring attention for mum but should I complain about this woman?
Your replies are much appreciated!
hi ferniegirl
good idea to have a general chat with the manager - keep it light touch - I find the folk in dad's care home are responsive and listen to me because I chat with them whenever I am visiting eg I always say I am there as a courtesy and ask how things are, and they know I am supportive and appreciative of what they do for dad - that way they know if I mention anything I'm not complaining as such, I just really want an answer or some help, and they are happy to act on what I say
I absolutely agree that it is unprofessional behaviour for any carer to have their mobile out when on duty - it's only ever happened in dad's home a couple of times and both times the carer was apologetic and explained that they were unfortunately waiting for some specific family news; neither time was the carer constantly checking the mobile - so mention it, maybe as a question about the home's policy or as a way of praising the other staff ... rather than an outright criticism - then if it ever happens again you can complain for real
it may be that the staff have some idea of when you visit, maybe you go at a regular time, so they know you will be around to support your mum - I know the carers in dad's home have busy sessions but every visit I see some thoughtful and particular connection with the residents, and they clearly know all the residents well
best wishes
good idea to have a general chat with the manager - keep it light touch - I find the folk in dad's care home are responsive and listen to me because I chat with them whenever I am visiting eg I always say I am there as a courtesy and ask how things are, and they know I am supportive and appreciative of what they do for dad - that way they know if I mention anything I'm not complaining as such, I just really want an answer or some help, and they are happy to act on what I say
I absolutely agree that it is unprofessional behaviour for any carer to have their mobile out when on duty - it's only ever happened in dad's home a couple of times and both times the carer was apologetic and explained that they were unfortunately waiting for some specific family news; neither time was the carer constantly checking the mobile - so mention it, maybe as a question about the home's policy or as a way of praising the other staff ... rather than an outright criticism - then if it ever happens again you can complain for real
it may be that the staff have some idea of when you visit, maybe you go at a regular time, so they know you will be around to support your mum - I know the carers in dad's home have busy sessions but every visit I see some thoughtful and particular connection with the residents, and they clearly know all the residents well
best wishes
