Hi
My father has Alzheimer's and now in nursing home. He is actually my father in law but we are so close I always refer to him as my dad. I have used this site many a time and have benefited greatly from responses. Tomorrow I will be seeing my brother and sister in law. They don't see dad a lot. In fact my sister in law has never seen him at his nursing home. On the phone earlier my husband and I had to arrange to see them tomorrow at dads house (mum died 11 months ago). I need a bit of advise as on the phone call sister in law said 'I couldn't do what you do'. She said this after I explained that we have lots of issues to sort out with dad e.g. Regular visits or else he will rely on carers, assessment with social workers about deprivation of liberty, looking after his house and solicitor matters. ( that's in a nutshell). All she said on the phone was 'I couldn't do what you do'. She has said this every time we suggest a helping hand. She lives same distance from dad as us. She doesn't work, whereas I work full time as my husband and I have our own business. I know she will say this again tomorrow and I'd like to have a response to that without it sounding bitchy. I'd like to say 'you can but you won't' or 'I have no option because you won't'. My husband doesn't want me to be a smart Alec as says it could cause atmosphere as we have finance to sort out and locking horns isn't helpful. He's right. But I really want a response that I can get away with but will make her think. I know this may sound trivial but I've had 8 years of adapting our lives to my mother and father in laws care and they have done nothing.
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My father has Alzheimer's and now in nursing home. He is actually my father in law but we are so close I always refer to him as my dad. I have used this site many a time and have benefited greatly from responses. Tomorrow I will be seeing my brother and sister in law. They don't see dad a lot. In fact my sister in law has never seen him at his nursing home. On the phone earlier my husband and I had to arrange to see them tomorrow at dads house (mum died 11 months ago). I need a bit of advise as on the phone call sister in law said 'I couldn't do what you do'. She said this after I explained that we have lots of issues to sort out with dad e.g. Regular visits or else he will rely on carers, assessment with social workers about deprivation of liberty, looking after his house and solicitor matters. ( that's in a nutshell). All she said on the phone was 'I couldn't do what you do'. She has said this every time we suggest a helping hand. She lives same distance from dad as us. She doesn't work, whereas I work full time as my husband and I have our own business. I know she will say this again tomorrow and I'd like to have a response to that without it sounding bitchy. I'd like to say 'you can but you won't' or 'I have no option because you won't'. My husband doesn't want me to be a smart Alec as says it could cause atmosphere as we have finance to sort out and locking horns isn't helpful. He's right. But I really want a response that I can get away with but will make her think. I know this may sound trivial but I've had 8 years of adapting our lives to my mother and father in laws care and they have done nothing.
Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
