The Persistence of fraudsters

[marionq]

Some years ago when I joined TP my main concern was that my husband was being scammed and had been for some time by a distant relative. This was someone he met up with from time to time and who had convinced him he was going to be a great success in business but needed injections of capital.

I knew from the start he would never see his money again but could not convince my husband of this. The person had never and would never be allowed in my house. He often phoned though to meet up with John and always to get more money out of him.

I took advice on TP as by that time a diagnosis of Alzheimer's had been made, and removed my husband's bank cards. I had POA as do my daughters. Words were exchanged but I stuck to my guns. He then was carrying only cash. Usually a couple of twenties and some change. The scammer's demands went from hundreds to twenties! I cut it down to tens. His demands matched whatever my husband had on him.

I warned him on the phone that I had given all his details to social services who had advised taking out an AP1. I blocked his phone number. By this time we were several years in to the diagnosed illness and John was getting lost and police involved. I could no longer let him out on his own and he simply forgot all about this lowlife. Of course the money will never be recovered but that is the least of it.

He has realised that if he phones from a landline other than the one I have blocked then I will answer. His question is always "Is John still alive?" I don't speak and just hang up and block that number too.

We have children and grandchildren yet this creature clearly imagines he should have access to our hard earned savings. I am tough enough to handle this but it demonstrates what the elderly are up against when a determined conman sees an opportunity.

 

[Tin]

Just speechless that this low life is calling you. Unfortunately the law just cannot seem to keep up with these con people. and here we are supposed to be protecting the frail and infirm, but 'they' always seem to find a way to get what they want. Horrible, horrible, disgusting human being - lets hope what goes around comes around.

 

[marionq]

It is two and a half years since John last saw him and the most recent phone call was last Sunday! He cannot ask friends, family, neighbours about John as he is persona non grata with everyone. I wonder why?

 

[LynneMcV]

What a horrible situation. Thank goodness John has you looking out for him. As you say, what about those poor folk who have nobody to step in but have to face this kind of persistence on their own.

 

[cragmaid]

Say " Yes and you can send him his repayments care of me" ..... then hang up!!

 

[marionq]

Maureen, conmen get their kicks partly from spinning yarns to fool people. If you dont engage them in conversation then it must be really frustrating for them that they dont get the chance to pull you in.

I would never be fooled by him as I despise him and all the others like him but I know several perfectly decent people who have been. John is the most honest person who has ever been born and simply would not believe how devious another person could be.

My daughters have a good take on this. They say he is more to be pitied as he cannot see how much more interesting life is when you work and earn your own money rather than always scheming to scrape together ill gotten gains. I'm not so generous as my girls but admire their liberal instincts.

 

[mary2000]

Oh my goodness what an absolutely dreadful thing for someone to do, even worse that they are related but then I know how bad families can be, having had problems on both sides of the family.

I am so sorry that you have had to go through this and thank goodness your husband has you and your daughters in his corner.

Is it possible for you to get an injunction out on him so he is forbidden to contact you by law. Not sure of the correct terminology but hopefully you know what I mean.

Some people are lower than low

 

[Clunchman]

Not pleasant and difficult to deal with I know, but can you speak to the police about this person as they may be able to help? There may also be legal steps that can be taken to stop the con merchant making contact, I guess Citizens Advice could tell you about that?
Having had to stop a relative conning my wife who has Vascular Dementia I know how distressing and awkward your situation can be.

 

[arielsmelody]

Maybe a call blocker phone would help
http://www.expertreviews.co.uk/mobile-phones/bt-bt8500-review-the-best-call-blocker-yet

One like this asks unknown callers to leave a message so you can decide whether or not to answer.

 

[Selinacroft]

Would the police fraud department be able to trace him from the more recent landline numbers he has called from? I would note them down and pass them on to police . It may be too late to ptotect your husband but may prevent someone else falling victim. Sounds really creepy he is asking if husband is s till alive. Sounds sick to me-beyond normal scamming. He's not trying to sound casual is he-just sick.

 

[marionq]

I think he is hoping that it will be John who will answer in which case he could envisage meeting up or visiting him possibly with a view to getting more money out of him. John is well beyond that now and would be in care without me but of course without anyone giving the culprit information he doesn't know that.

This person only has a very tenuous link with John. He is not a close relative and would never have been in the picture at all except for John's developing Alzheimer's which ruined his judgement.

I'm not personally afraid of him but very aware how a vulnerable elderly person can be drawn in to these plausible characters. I wrote out the details at length some time ago and they are on John's file at the Memory clinic. There is an Adult Protection document you can download and complete if you ever find yourself in a similar situation.

Because John has totally forgotten him I would not like to do anything which would remind him and an interview with the police might do that.

Just keep your eye on your own elderly relatives and be aware of the few lowlifes who are out there.

 

[AlsoConfused]

The police wouldn't need to talk to John would they? They'd want to focus on what you're saying and what the paper trail says ...

I think you'd have nothing to lose but some time and the upset involved in talking about this man to the police.

 

[nitram]

"His question is always "Is John still alive?" I don't speak and just hang up and block that number too."

Once he has identified himself, don't respond, don't stop the call. just walk away, come back later when he has probably terminated the call and then block the number, he might as well pay for the extended call.

Don't worry about it, just think of it as another pip/kitchen revamp/better windows/...call and ignore it.

 

[Marnie63]

Marion - what an incredible low life this person is. I guess as he succeeded in getting money from your husband in the past, then he is persisting, in the hope he gets lucky again. People are incredible, aren't they?

This may not suit you at all, but I now keep my land line permanently on silent so I'm never bothered by calls. I'm not sure why it took me months to do this (!), but I was running around, answering calls, speaking to people who were upsetting me, mum getting upset at the ringing, etc., etc. So much better now - don't need to speak to anyone and the people who I do want to speak to know what I do, so they just leave a message and I'll call back, or call back when I see they've called. It helps that I communicate with most of my own friends via my mobile or other messaging services, and I only give the mobile no. out usually, so it's only a small handful of people who use the land line anyway. Might not work if you receive a lot of important calls on your landline, but it has helped me a lot! No one has 'got' to mum, but there was one particular 'friend' of hers who just would not stop calling, she was really becoming a nuisance. She's stopped now, so hope she has the message. It's amazing how wearing something like this can be.

 

[Katrine]

Keep a whistle by the phone. If he calls, just put your lips together and blow!