Hello everyone - I know this is a common issue with AD patients, but I guess I'm looking for similar experiences. My mum came home from hospital on 21st December after four and a half months - she fought off sepsis, bless her, and we're very lucky that she's still with us at all. My dad fondly believed that, once she was back at home, she'd miraculously start to eat again - she'd been refusing food for about six weeks by the time she was discharged, eating only enough to sustain a small mouse most days. She'll insist one of three things: 1. She feels sick. 2. She has a pain in her stomach. 3. She isn't hungry. "How can she not be hungry when she ate nothing at all yesterday?" my poor dad asks me. I so wish I knew. She appears oblivious to the concern, and just gets hacked off when we continue to try and persuade/bribe/threaten her into eating. Her conversation has reduced dramatically, too, since her recent illness, and her mobility has inevitably suffered, and she has to use a walking frame, and a wheelchair if she goes out (not very often now). My dad flatly refused an enhanced care package when she was due for discharge - he insisted that four carer visits per day were far too intrusive, the three she'd been having prior to her illness were "fine" and he could cope with her otherwise (he can't). He is quickly getting to the end of his tether now, and my sister and I worry for his wellbeing - he is 86. He was quite resistant to the advice offered by the occupational therapist at the hospital, much to our horror, and in the end, the two of us decided that we would need to just back off a bit and let things run their course, and that he would very soon realise that the professionals knew what they were talking about. We do, of course, make sure that we either ring him or visit every day, just for our own peace of mind, but it's clear that he isn't coping now. Has anyone managed to overcome the refusal to eat scenario, even just slightly? Any tricks that we could use to try and get a few more morsels down her? She will drink soup (my dad makes his own, and it's really good), so that is at least a starting point. I'll shut up now, but thank you all for taking the time to read my post. XXXXX
My mum refuses to eat
- Thread starter hollysmum
- Start date
Hi hollysmum,wow your mum(and family) have certainly been through a lot with your mum being in hospital,it's great she is home now,but you now have the additional worry of mum not eating,been through that with my mum, in 2009, doctor prescribed Ensure drinks for extra calories and vitamins,also mirtazipine which has the side effect of increasing the appetite...most important is hydration so maybe foods with a high water content and lots of cups of tea
the eating well it was back to old fashioned receipes or nursery foods..mash with extra butter and cream with gravy,shepherds pie etc,mum also developed a sweet tooth- sojelly and custard for us was a start...really easy to eat foods small amounts little and often but put on a smaller plate,your dad has made a good start with home made soups,I am guessing mum has had a SALT assessment in the hospital to see if there are other reasons for her not eating?
the eating well it was back to old fashioned receipes or nursery foods..mash with extra butter and cream with gravy,shepherds pie etc,mum also developed a sweet tooth- sojelly and custard for us was a start...really easy to eat foods small amounts little and often but put on a smaller plate,your dad has made a good start with home made soups,I am guessing mum has had a SALT assessment in the hospital to see if there are other reasons for her not eating?Mum (AZ) goes through periods of not eating - sometimes we think it's a form of exerting control...
She too has become fond of sweet foods, but there are a couple of fail safes that we can offer that she more often than not will eat (a cooked breakfast and egg & chips with plenty of tomato kethcup!) - took us a while to find them... but perhaps worth a few experiments with your Mum ?
On the sweet front, we started leaving a bowl of chocolates or biscuits by her chair and the side of her bed (without making any comment) - they miraculously disappeared. We made no comment, just filled them up again...
As you can see, we're not worrying about the quality of her diet. Life is now about comfort, enjoyment (however small) not longevity...
Good luck. Elizabeth.
She too has become fond of sweet foods, but there are a couple of fail safes that we can offer that she more often than not will eat (a cooked breakfast and egg & chips with plenty of tomato kethcup!) - took us a while to find them... but perhaps worth a few experiments with your Mum ?
On the sweet front, we started leaving a bowl of chocolates or biscuits by her chair and the side of her bed (without making any comment) - they miraculously disappeared. We made no comment, just filled them up again...
As you can see, we're not worrying about the quality of her diet. Life is now about comfort, enjoyment (however small) not longevity...
Good luck. Elizabeth.
Hi, my OH went through the not eating stage. He limited himself to fresh orange juice and very dark chocolate. I tried all things I could think about, the gp prescribed some ensure, or similar, he hated all flavours! I wasn't particular worried about what he ate, so long as he ate - but he didn't/wouldn't. When I had given up all hope, he started eating again! However, his stomach was so small by then, it had to be taken slowly. We eventually got there and he regained most of his lost weight.
So, no help really, I still don't know what made him eat again! But it might happen.
At end of life he didn't eat much and at my insistence, the care home actually weighed him! I knew he had lost weight. But I don't think he ate much, and he didn't live much longer. Though his body shut down at the end, so I think it was a case that he wasn't eating because he was dying, rather than he didn't eat in order to die.
Previous advice to leave a plate of nibbles, chopped up food that she likes, is probably the best.
Also, does she have false teeth? Are they still fitting properly? That's another reason for not eating.
So, no help really, I still don't know what made him eat again! But it might happen.
At end of life he didn't eat much and at my insistence, the care home actually weighed him! I knew he had lost weight. But I don't think he ate much, and he didn't live much longer. Though his body shut down at the end, so I think it was a case that he wasn't eating because he was dying, rather than he didn't eat in order to die.
Previous advice to leave a plate of nibbles, chopped up food that she likes, is probably the best.
Also, does she have false teeth? Are they still fitting properly? That's another reason for not eating.
Oh dear, what a worry for you!
Our taste buds are most sensitive at birth and steadily decline thereafter. By the time they reach 'old age' it seems that many people cannot taste much - have you noticed the way some older people pile on the salt at the table? 'Sweet' is the last taste to go.
So, whatever you offer, try to make sure it is highly flavoured and seasoned. As has been said, sweet things might be accepted, even if your mum never used to have a 'sweet tooth'.
Our taste buds are most sensitive at birth and steadily decline thereafter. By the time they reach 'old age' it seems that many people cannot taste much - have you noticed the way some older people pile on the salt at the table? 'Sweet' is the last taste to go.
So, whatever you offer, try to make sure it is highly flavoured and seasoned. As has been said, sweet things might be accepted, even if your mum never used to have a 'sweet tooth'.
You say your mum drinks soup. You can maybe try buying plain powdered Complan at Boots and adding some to the soup.* It's not just for milk shakes, although you can also buy it flavoured if she could be persuaded to drink a tasty shake.* As already mentioned,* Ensure do good shakes,* but the powder is good for sneaking in to all sorts of food - both sweet and savoury.
My mum was losing weight as she didn't eat enough, and we were advised to sneak in the Complan and use full fat milk, butter and cream and leave nibbles handy. Others have said they leave sweets & biscuits nearby. My mum loves nuts and we have a tub of mixed nuts and dried fruit beside her permanently and we top them up regularly.* Maybe you can find your mum's 'weakness' and leave her favourites handy.
I agree with the suggestions about old favourites. We've started giving mum individual steamed puddings with custard and I think she likes them as it takes her back decades. There are loads of flavours and they are quick to do in the microwave.
I think not eating is a common symptom, as if the bit of the brain that triggers hunger stops working.* Mum would be happy not eating meals at all. If I ask what she wants to eat she'll always say she's not hungry, so I learned not to ask.* Fortunately she can be tempted to eat a bit by putting food in front of her, but sometimes we have to nag :-(
My mum's weight has been stable for several months now, although I realise this will change later.
Best wishes.
My mum was losing weight as she didn't eat enough, and we were advised to sneak in the Complan and use full fat milk, butter and cream and leave nibbles handy. Others have said they leave sweets & biscuits nearby. My mum loves nuts and we have a tub of mixed nuts and dried fruit beside her permanently and we top them up regularly.* Maybe you can find your mum's 'weakness' and leave her favourites handy.
I agree with the suggestions about old favourites. We've started giving mum individual steamed puddings with custard and I think she likes them as it takes her back decades. There are loads of flavours and they are quick to do in the microwave.
I think not eating is a common symptom, as if the bit of the brain that triggers hunger stops working.* Mum would be happy not eating meals at all. If I ask what she wants to eat she'll always say she's not hungry, so I learned not to ask.* Fortunately she can be tempted to eat a bit by putting food in front of her, but sometimes we have to nag :-(
My mum's weight has been stable for several months now, although I realise this will change later.
Best wishes.
Thank you so much for your responses. Mother certainly has a sweet tooth, but we've been unable to tempt her recently, even with her favourite chocolate. She's been prescribed "Fortisip" drinks, which she was also having in the hospital, but has to be cajoled into sipping those regularly - she does at least like the flavours! I like the idea of leaving small pots of nibbles next to her chair, by her bed etc, and I totally agree about softer foods - she doesn't seem to like to chew much any more. With regard to the SALT test that Chris53 mentioned - I've never come across this, so presume that she hasn't had this done? What is it for, it sounds quite interesting! I say I've not come across it - she might have had it done, and my father simply hasn't told my sister and me - he's quite good at that! I, too, agree that it really doesn't matter whether she eats vegetables or chocolate, as long as it's something. I was astounded when, about two years ago, when she was eating fairly well, one of the "specialists" actually told my father that Mother needed to lose a bit of weight - which planet are these people on? He wasn't an AD specialist, I should add. This sent my father into a frenzy of insisting she have fruit, for example, instead of having a piece of cake or a biscuit - it didn't work! We said to him that they both have enough to put up with without idiots trying to tell them that Mother needs to lose a few pounds. I'm visiting them tomorrow evening, so will attempt to incorporate some of your excellent advice into our conversation!
