Nastiness

[suzanne_10]

Hi I'm wondering if anyone can help me. My mother is nasty to the point of cutting 3 out of her 4 children out of her life, (and many more unbelievable cruel things) I'm obviously searching for help to try understand whether this could be dementia.

 

[carol4444]

I assume this is completely out of character for her. Sounds like something is not right but doesn't necessarily mean dementia. Does she have any other symptoms? Alzheimers has turned my mother into Mrs Nasty. I've been banned for weeks at a time and skulked around her bungalow, trying to get things done but staying out of her sight as much as possible. So sorry, sounds as if you are in a difficult situation.


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[Shedrech]

Hi Suzanne_10
and welcome to TP
not knowing your mother, it's tricky for anyone here to really comment - as carol4444 says, is this out of the ordinary for your mother?
maybe you might write out all the concerns you have and list all the changes in her behaviour that you are worried about (think of her 1,2,3 years ago and what she did then with ease that she can no longer cope with) and send them to her GP asking if they can invite your mother for a check-up - it's flu jab season so that might be a good pretext for a visit to the surgery
the GP may not be able to talk things over with you, due to patient confidentiality, but they will have to note your concerns on file - and at least they will be aware of your worries for when they do see your mother

there are other conditions which have some symptoms similar to dementia, so the GP will look into those eg stress, vitamin deficiency

the AS has factsheets covering lots of key issues - here's the link
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/documents.php?categoryID=200137&_ga=1.60888303.213745934.1462100281

and do have a mooch around TP as there are threads which discuss the sort of nastiness you describe

best wishes

 

[Jennylizfuller]

Hi I'm wondering if anyone can help me. My mother is nasty to the point of cutting 3 out of her 4 children out of her life, (and many more unbelievable cruel things) I'm obviously searching for help to try understand whether this could be dementia.

Hi
My mums the same really hard to get anyone to listen or help
Finally we tricked her into going to gps then to memory clinic where we got a diagnosis
Denial is the worst thing to over come
I was lucky a new go saw her he understood dementia ask at your surgery tablet review is what we used may help
I l ow only too well how you feel 3 years later even with a diagnosis it's a battle get yourself armoured up and do t let them out you off stand your ground
Take care & good luck

 

[Raggedrobin]

It could be dementia, indeed. But there are also other things such as brain tumours that can affect people's character. Either way, she probably needs to be assessed. I would contact her GP, without her knowledge, if she is likely to fall out with you about it, and indeed make a list of changes and see if they can look into it a bit.

I think it is a very difficult time at the beginning of dementia, that some people can behave in a way that is out of character and for people to judge them as being 'nasty' when it is just part of the illness.