I've posted before and you've all been so kind and helpful before. I just don't know how to go on though. To recap my nan has moderate dementia and has reached the stage whereby she sits in the chair watching tv and will only eat or drink etc if it's placed in front of her, and I have to remind her to go to the toilet and take her every time. She simply cannot do anything for herself pretty much anymore, due to a combination of age (93) and the dementia. She won't recognise that she is wet, or hungry etc. My mum used to care for her but had two small strokes earlier this year so I took over. I am really struggling. I lost my job through trying to balance caring for them both, as well as my 11 year old daughter and a husband away frequently in the military. Social services won't provide any help at all as they say she has capacity, refuses care and therefore it would be "unlawful and unethical" to force it on her. My brother lives 4 hours away and is vile in messages if I ask for any help at all. My mum could help again but begrudges my nan and speaks to her like she's stupid or forgets to do things on purpose. I had a carer and a neighbour doing visits but the water infections are getting more frequent I think because they aren't as meticulous as me. Nan had a fall last week due to a bad water infection and ended up in hospital. I therefore decided to bring her home to my house when she was discharged fir a while. She's now got a bad chest infection and pressure sores from sleeping in her recliner bed as I could not get her mobility bed here. She's happier during the day as she has more company and is part of a family unit. I thought it would be easier too and in a practical sense it is, but mentally it's affecting me. I can't sleep worrying about her downstairs. I don't know what to do for the best, to move her back to her home and try and pay for care but it would be me still doing most of it and others just popping in quickly, and therefore not doing a thorough job, or to try and persevere but I think it will have a massive impact long term on my relationship with my partner. I feel like I'm trying my best for her but my best isn't good enough. I feel so so so alone and responsible.
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