Good morning! I'm posting regarding my mum, who has now been in hospital for nine weeks - she suffered a massive infection following the routine removal of a kidney stone back in August. I think she astounded us and the staff alike by recovering from it - they were definitely preparing me, my sister and my father for the very worst. However, since she moved from the high dependency unit five weeks ago, her eating has gone from sporadic to almost non-existent. My father in particular is at his wits' end with worry about this, and has resorted to taking in his own (very good) homemade soups and other things you can put in a Thermos flask to try and persuade her to have a few mouthfuls. Normally, she loves chocolate, cakes and biscuits, so we tried initially to tempt her with these, but to no avail. The hospital provides her with Fortisip drinks and desserts, and the staff do their very best to get her to eat, but of course, cannot force feed her. My father has taken to visiting at around lunchtime every day so that he can help her with her meal, but yesterday, she told him she didn't want "any bloody lunch"! He finally managed to get her to eat some of the cauliflower cheese he'd taken in, but she wouldn't touch what the hospital had provided. She is also refusing to do any physiotherapy - getting out of bed, standing and walking a short distance - and again, the staff cannot force her to do this. We've tried all the usual forms of persuasion - "they won't let you go home if you don't eat/have your physio" "go on, have some of the soup, Father's really worried about you" "aren't you hungry?" and so on. She has lost a huge amount of weight - the skin is hanging off her. Quite early on in her stay at hospital, we were told that she would need to spend time at a nursing home before she could be considered for returning home, but in reality, my father was not coping in any case before she was ill, and my sister and I feel that once she is ensconced in a nursing home, she will not be able to return home. She asks to go home, of course, every day, and I think my father still harbours some hope that she will go home to him. Can anyone suggest how we could possibly persuade her to start eating again? We have wondered if, in her mind, she is staging a protest, and that she thinks that if she won't eat, they'll send her home. She is 78 and my father is 86. Thank you all so much. Catherine xxx
Mum is refusing to eat
- Thread starter hollysmum
- Start date
Oh god, at a problem. I am sure you are right, she thinks she will get home sooner if she doesn't eat. Not eating can be a protest. The last thing someone can control. My husband's aunt refused to eat, which hastened her death. Very very sad. In her case enormous depression was in the mix.
I can only suggest you ask for help from the psychiatric services, or the admiral nurses. There must be a way to convince her. The hospital seem to be doing the right things with alternative nutrition and you are are doing the right things, by the sound of it. How about playing the guilt card 'I am so worried and I want you home' style of thing???
I can only suggest you ask for help from the psychiatric services, or the admiral nurses. There must be a way to convince her. The hospital seem to be doing the right things with alternative nutrition and you are are doing the right things, by the sound of it. How about playing the guilt card 'I am so worried and I want you home' style of thing???
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At the beginning of the year mum had a very bad chest infection, was on IV antibiotics and the doctors told us that if she didnt respond they would "make her comfortable". Amazingly, she did respond and was moved back to her CH and then she stopped eating. Again I was prepared for the worst, but she started eating again and is still with us. Unfortunately, that doesnt always happen.
Hi
It is so very difficult, we are having the same problem. My mother is in nursing care, but for the last two months has virtually stopped eating. She has been put on Ensure compact by the dietician, which has 300 calories, 3 times a day. I also take 1/2 tin of Heinz tomato soup in a flask 102 calories for 1/2 tin. I usually do a mouthful or two, distract her for a minute and then try again. I take a bar of mint Aero with me as this melts quite easily in the mouth. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Yesterday she told me to F**k off, never sworn like that ever! It did make me chuckle as she is 91.
I think the brain is saying they full all of the time as mum points out if you are not hungry you don't want to eat.
I am so sorry I am not much help, but all I can say is ask about Ensure Compact milkshake and try with the soup again.
Good luck xx
It is so very difficult, we are having the same problem. My mother is in nursing care, but for the last two months has virtually stopped eating. She has been put on Ensure compact by the dietician, which has 300 calories, 3 times a day. I also take 1/2 tin of Heinz tomato soup in a flask 102 calories for 1/2 tin. I usually do a mouthful or two, distract her for a minute and then try again. I take a bar of mint Aero with me as this melts quite easily in the mouth. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Yesterday she told me to F**k off, never sworn like that ever! It did make me chuckle as she is 91.
I think the brain is saying they full all of the time as mum points out if you are not hungry you don't want to eat.
I am so sorry I am not much help, but all I can say is ask about Ensure Compact milkshake and try with the soup again.
Good luck xx
