loosing the will to live

[Dog5Body4U]

I don't know how much longer we can do this all night without any sleep for the last 3 nights and keeping an eye on mum during the day & then the other sister says what if she takes mum for a while maybe get tea so my wife can get a bit of food and some sleep then 2 hours later she is ringing saying they are outside with mum!!!! Now how are we supposed to eat and sleep in 2 hours!!!! It's not as if she is working at the moment she is just on job seekers whereas me and the wife are both disabled but they reckon that means we don't do anything so we can do all the looking after it's just a shame neither of us is fit enough
We took mum shopping today and she was nearly running off on us my wife is on crutches because she has arthritis in most of her spine and I have a walking stick because I have a problem with my spine it's that bad I have injections every 4 months we had to keep asking mum to slow down and I have even had to put the child locks on in the car because she was trying to get out of the car whenever we stopped (traffic can be insane these days I am petrified she will get run over) what else can we do
My wife rang social services and they said they would come out Friday for some assessment but I don't know if we can stay awake that long
GRRRRR is the only thing I can think to say

 

[Rosie7]

Hi
So sorry to hear what an awfully hard time you are having.You make my problems seem so small.Could you contact your own GP .You can't be expected to go on like this with your own health problems .I would get on that phone this morning and make a song and dance to your GP and SS Friday is too far away.Sending you my best wishes and support.

 

[DeborahBlythe]

This is not on. Tell Social Services and your mother in laws GP that she is 'at risk' and you cannot ensure her safety. Remind the authorities that you and your wife are both disabled. Ask for that assessment to be brought forward urgently. Its such a strain for you both and the lady needs more help than you can provide which would be perfectly understandable even if you didn't have your own disabilies. Don't waste energy hoping that other family members will step into the breach. Mostly they can't or won't. (Not always true, but sadly it often is the case.) Wishing you all the best.

 

[Dog5Body4U]

Thanks

Thank you so very much for all the suggestions and support it's been very helpful and it's nice to realise that we are not alone
We are used to having to do everything for ourselves as we have never really been accepted by the rest of the family but it would be nice for mum to get the support mum had a bit of a lucid moment today and said that her & her daughter (my wife) had a falling out and it was all her fault but when she gets in trouble her daughter forgets about the falling out and just looks after her (I nearly cried because the MIL usually never has a good word to say about my wife! I just wish she had said it in front of my wife) it would seem that the MIL is sometimes remembering some of the stuff that is going on she was saying that the other daughter hasn't even bothered offering to look after her
I'm just waiting for the fireworks because we haven't even started down the road of POA or LPA (or whatever the letters are) whenever I try and talk about that to the wife's sister she basically says that's for her and my wife to sort out not anything to do with me!!!
Even though it's me and my wife who are with the MIL morning noon and night!! I do want to shout but my wife doesn't want any more trouble (as my daughter would say GRRR)

 

[Aisling]

Thank you so very much for all the suggestions and support it's been very helpful and it's nice to realise that we are not alone
We are used to having to do everything for ourselves as we have never really been accepted by the rest of the family but it would be nice for mum to get the support mum had a bit of a lucid moment today and said that her & her daughter (my wife) had a falling out and it was all her fault but when she gets in trouble her daughter forgets about the falling out and just looks after her (I nearly cried because the MIL usually never has a good word to say about my wife! I just wish she had said it in front of my wife) it would seem that the MIL is sometimes remembering some of the stuff that is going on she was saying that the other daughter hasn't even bothered offering to look after her
I'm just waiting for the fireworks because we haven't even started down the road of POA or LPA (or whatever the letters are) whenever I try and talk about that to the wife's sister she basically says that's for her and my wife to sort out not anything to do with me!!!
Even though it's me and my wife who are with the MIL morning noon and night!! I do want to shout but my wife doesn't want any more trouble (as my daughter would say GRRR)

My heart goes out to you. Sweet mother of trees!! SIL tells you that POA is not anything to do with you while you and your wife are full time carers! It happens in some families and it is so so sad. And bringing your MIL back to you after 2 hours!! Am sad to say that I have experience of nil family support.

You both need help and I don't know what to say or advise. Can you contact SS? Admiral nurse? Talk to your doctor?

You will get support here and phone Alyzheimers society .

Sending you virtual support.

Aisling ( Ireland)