I've always had a worry about my mum wondering and so far she has been ok. She has "travelled" but always stayed in the house. Today she decided to go for a walk. She was found outside with her blanket purse and bag. She had closed the door behind her so the sensor didn't work. My other worry is now she has done it once do you think she will do it again? Help and advice appreciated.
My worst nightmare came true today.
- Thread starter janwill69
- Start date
My mum wanders too
My Mum has wandered a few times over the past few months. She lives with my Dad and they both have AD and he is becoming less able to appreciate why she does some of the things she does which complicates the issue! They live in a small village, so on each occasion she has been returned safely by neighbours as she hasn't gone far. We try to encourage Dad to lock the front door when they are in, but Mum has wandered when he has been asleep on the sofa. Accepting that Mum may wander, we have put name and phone details in pockets, spoken to several of the neighbours, also the local Community Support Officers, filled in Herbert Protocol Forms. I've read about trying to figure out why someone might wander, but it's not always obvious, or possible to stop it, but as the alternatives are not ideal, we are trying to accept an element of risk, but manage it as best we can. We are trialling a Canary Care monitoring system, but not yet sure if that will be of value. Hope that helps...it's a constant worry isn't it. Accepting risk is one thing, but it's also hard not to fear the worst! Gx
My Mum has wandered a few times over the past few months. She lives with my Dad and they both have AD and he is becoming less able to appreciate why she does some of the things she does which complicates the issue! They live in a small village, so on each occasion she has been returned safely by neighbours as she hasn't gone far. We try to encourage Dad to lock the front door when they are in, but Mum has wandered when he has been asleep on the sofa. Accepting that Mum may wander, we have put name and phone details in pockets, spoken to several of the neighbours, also the local Community Support Officers, filled in Herbert Protocol Forms. I've read about trying to figure out why someone might wander, but it's not always obvious, or possible to stop it, but as the alternatives are not ideal, we are trying to accept an element of risk, but manage it as best we can. We are trialling a Canary Care monitoring system, but not yet sure if that will be of value. Hope that helps...it's a constant worry isn't it. Accepting risk is one thing, but it's also hard not to fear the worst! Gx
Afraid my mum wants to be on the move all the time, but she lives with me so the fear of her getting lost is lessened because of this. Most days she just goes to and from garden gate and has only gone out of the garden 3 times and I have usually caught sight of her doing this she always tells me that she just wanted to go for a walk, even though we have just got back from walking around our local town. There are really only two ways out of this village and so she would run out of pavement fairly soon and then be in open countryside and roads. I have told a few neighbours and friends about this, just in case.
A friend of mine in the same village, cares for her father in law and to date he has only left the house once and that was a year ago, he was found just walking around the village and has not done it again.
Sorry my only advice is to let her neighbours know, but sure before the night is over, plenty more will be here with lots more constructive plans and thoughts
A friend of mine in the same village, cares for her father in law and to date he has only left the house once and that was a year ago, he was found just walking around the village and has not done it again.
Sorry my only advice is to let her neighbours know, but sure before the night is over, plenty more will be here with lots more constructive plans and thoughts
My dad did this too, earlier in his illness. He was brought home on several occasions, when he was still at home with mum. The last time, I found him hiding behind a bush in his front garden at 2am. The alarm had been triggered, I'd been phoned, got there 20mins later... Mum was at home, but was ill. I'm sorry, this is not reassuring.. We never left dad 'alone' after that night. I often wonder now if iPhone/watch technology or similar could have tracked him?? My dad had lost all sense of time. Very difficult situation you are in... Lots of love, G. X
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Hi. Well mom had 2 mini strokes today and is currently in hospital. They have mentioned an assessment unit which I think is our only option. After the 2nd stroke she doesn't recognise me anymore and has declined right before our eyes today. The not knowing what happens next is really scarey x
And so it continues. They have said mom didn't have TIA now but they don't know what it was. She no longer knows me and it is just a sharp decline. Me and the carers have been having to help her to the toilet etc but the doc on the ward has told her social worker her mobility on the ward has been fine.
They are sending her home today and I have the challenge of trying to get her up the 7 steps to get her in the house. Wish me luck x
They are sending her home today and I have the challenge of trying to get her up the 7 steps to get her in the house. Wish me luck x
Oh dear!
Surely if your poor mum has suffered a significant decline she needs an assessment of some sort before she comes home.
Don't they normally send an OT round to the house to check it is safe for her? I guess this hasn't been done because the doctor said her mobility is ok.
I am not entirely sure how it works but hopefully someone soon will give you some helpful advice on what to do if you can't manage.
Wishing you luck and hoping today goes ok for both of you.
brambles x
Surely if your poor mum has suffered a significant decline she needs an assessment of some sort before she comes home.
Don't they normally send an OT round to the house to check it is safe for her? I guess this hasn't been done because the doctor said her mobility is ok.
I am not entirely sure how it works but hopefully someone soon will give you some helpful advice on what to do if you can't manage.
Wishing you luck and hoping today goes ok for both of you.
brambles x
Thank you all for your help and advice. Mom is still in hospital and we have a meeting Monday morning with medical staff and her social worker. She has been so confused the whole time but today was different. It was, in my own words "make janine feel **** day". She is not a nasty sort of person but today I couldn't do anything right and she was quite nasty. She has been a bit off with me a few times but today she was just nasty. Please tell me this is the dementia!!
Janine, I'm so sorry to hear about the situation with your mother.
Regarding your mother's discharge: if you feel you cannot provide the care she needs, for whatever reason or reasons (and I'm not judging you, no matter what your answer), then be clear that you will not permit her to be discharged home to your care. I think the correct phrases are "vulnerable adult" and "duty of care" and please remember you are not obligated to provide care. Stay firm about what you can and cannot do. For better or worse, perhaps her medical condition will prompt her needing rehab or medical care or OT modifications at home. I agree steps are a concern, as is safety in general. I hope you can feel sure she will get the care she needs
Regarding the difficult day you had: I experienced something similar while my mother was in hospital (for about 12 days, sectioned following being found wandering, injured, hallucinating, and confused). There was one day where she was incredibly, horribly nasty to me, just dripping poison. On other days she was confused but pleasant. With the staff's encouragement, I was able to reduce my visiting time from all day, every day, to shorter times, and eventually, not every day. However, I had no concerns about the care my mother was receiving, which I know is not the case for you.
So what I'm trying to say is that yes, it's likely the dementia, coupled with the damage from the strokes, and made worse by being in hospital. People with dementia notoriously don't do well in hospital: too many people coming and going, intrusive procedures, staff changes, medication changes, nothing is familiar and it's often just not a good place for them to be, but of course the situation demands in. Often they are just anxious, upset, or plain old scared. I'm sorry.
I do NOT think this change in her behaviour is your fault or anything you have or haven't done.
My only other thought is if your mother could be in pain or physical discomfort of any sort. I know it's tricky with a dementia patient but there are pain assessment scales that can be used even if a person is nonverbal, so you could ask the nursing staff to check this out on a regular basis.
Will be thinking of you and hoping for the best.
Regarding your mother's discharge: if you feel you cannot provide the care she needs, for whatever reason or reasons (and I'm not judging you, no matter what your answer), then be clear that you will not permit her to be discharged home to your care. I think the correct phrases are "vulnerable adult" and "duty of care" and please remember you are not obligated to provide care. Stay firm about what you can and cannot do. For better or worse, perhaps her medical condition will prompt her needing rehab or medical care or OT modifications at home. I agree steps are a concern, as is safety in general. I hope you can feel sure she will get the care she needs
Regarding the difficult day you had: I experienced something similar while my mother was in hospital (for about 12 days, sectioned following being found wandering, injured, hallucinating, and confused). There was one day where she was incredibly, horribly nasty to me, just dripping poison. On other days she was confused but pleasant. With the staff's encouragement, I was able to reduce my visiting time from all day, every day, to shorter times, and eventually, not every day. However, I had no concerns about the care my mother was receiving, which I know is not the case for you.
So what I'm trying to say is that yes, it's likely the dementia, coupled with the damage from the strokes, and made worse by being in hospital. People with dementia notoriously don't do well in hospital: too many people coming and going, intrusive procedures, staff changes, medication changes, nothing is familiar and it's often just not a good place for them to be, but of course the situation demands in. Often they are just anxious, upset, or plain old scared. I'm sorry.
I do NOT think this change in her behaviour is your fault or anything you have or haven't done.
My only other thought is if your mother could be in pain or physical discomfort of any sort. I know it's tricky with a dementia patient but there are pain assessment scales that can be used even if a person is nonverbal, so you could ask the nursing staff to check this out on a regular basis.
Will be thinking of you and hoping for the best.
