Dear Chip
I have read only your posts in this thread, so as not to influence my thinking beyond your experience, and beyond my own experience.
For the simple reason that I know that you asked about those of us who may have had to make a similar decision : yes, I have had to do similar. Which is the reason why I speak from my own experience.
When I was given about ONE HOUR to arrive at my own decision, I thought "Sugar Me, what the heck do I do now?" followed by "Sugar me, HELP". But there was no help, nobody to consult, so I knew it was down to me. So went away and thunked!!!! And then thunked more! One hour is the equivalent of a lifetime when given such a time-scale.
Then I worked out that no matter which decision I was required to make, I had only myself to consult about making that decision.
I never thought then - nor did I have the time to do so - about asking what anyone else 'might' do in similar circumstances, because even they might not have had any real idea of what the DECISION CRUNCH POINT means, unless and until required to face it.
So I guess that my only thought to you, as one who has had to make a similar decision, is that the decision you make is the right decision for you, and for your close family.
Simple as that. No more to say, whatever decision you MAKE ABOUT A DECISION THAT YOU ARE REQUIRED TO MAKE is the right decision.
KATIE