Birthday present

[Pear trees]

What can I get my mum for her birthday next month? She has never done anything like puzzles or jigsaws, or crafts,and does not read books or magazines, hating anything that taxes her mind. She has never been able to use anything more complicated than the TV remote, and would not even use an old record player I found for her.
When not at her lunch club she sits all day watching TV moaning; she is left to starve, no-one visits, she has no money etc.
I seem to always just buy her lots of cakes and sweets which she is never grateful for but always polishes off! She hates flowers as she can't eat them
Maybe just a card will be best this year, she will not appreciate it and will throw it in the bin straight away anyway. My husband said it's a pity they don't do a 'happy birthday you miserable moaning old b*tch' card!

 

[susy]

Maybe try some clothing? Like a nice cardigan.
As for the card suggestion.... Maybe see if moon pig can sort you out with a personalised card . (If only)

 

[Witzend]

My husband said it's a pity they don't do a 'happy birthday you miserable moaning old b*tch' card!

Oh, dear, that did make me laugh! Recently had to look for an 80th birthday card for someone we know - no dementia but v v self centred and moans an awful lot. I saw one I thought would be brilliant (not that I'd have bought it!) - it said, Old, Grey, and Grumpy - but it also said Husband!

By a certain stage of AD my mother was only really interested in chocolates - the milk ones in the purple box only - or soft fruit jellies. But we could only get her a small box because she would eat them one after another, would not let anyone take the box away, and would be most put out if we tried to offer one to any other resident.

I would look back to the days when she'd be so pleased with a really nice jumper, or a new handbag - days long gone, alas.

 

[brambles]

The present my mum has really liked and used was a throw which she sits with over her knee or wraps around her shoulders when she's feeling cold .

Nearly all mums other presents get stuck behind the sofa, often still in their original wrapping paper.

She has admired my dressing gown a few times so I managed to find her one almost identical. It is still (2 years later) in the bag I presented it to her in, not even tried on.

 

[2jays]

My mother was a country girl and remembered the fox hunting scenes that were popular then. I bought her a cushion with the fox hunting scene in. She was thrilled and told every one how lucky she was to have found the material - of course she forgot it was a present and told everyone she had made it

My recent present was again another cushion, with fiddle bits I had sewn on it. She keeps this cushion with her at all times and likes playing with the wings on the butterfly and occasionally will "fiddle" with the bits on the otherside

 

[Allypally67]

Hi Pear trees,

For Christmas I got my mum a couple of adult colouring books, some colouring pencils and some felt-tip pens!
She gets them out when she feels a bit bored or lonely (mostly when I am at work!). She seems to really enjoy it and gets really engrossed and is very chuffed when I tell her how good the resulting patterns look!
A good buy I feel as they were only a pound each!!!
Might be worth a try.

Allypally x

 

[jan.s]

How about a DVD of a film from "her" era? Just a thought. She can't eat it though

 

[Suzanna1969]

I went through all the old photo albums owned by various family members (including Mum's old one of her travels in the 50s) scanned and blew up the most evocative ones and took the memory stick to Tesco and printed them off, then put them in a nice album.

Every week we go through the album and label a couple of pages (she remembers the names of her old travelling companions) and chat about some of the pictures and the people in them.

She loves it and apparently looks at it when I am not there too.

 

[Pear trees]

Thank you for your suggestions, the butterfly cushion is lovely, you are very clever! I've tried this with my mum, she hated it saying it was a childish gimmick, ended up in the bin, same with colouring books. Cuddly toys go same way.
She has thrown out all family photos except of herself and had always refused to use DVD's or tape cassettes even before dementia. They also get binned. PIcture books about her home town and time in Wrens go the same way.
She can't eat clothes so does not appreciate them. So it will be cakes, sweets and a fish and chips lunch at a quiet cafe. At least when she's eating she can't moan.