As we sat in our daughters house on Boxing day, surrounded by 14 grandchildren and as many adults i gazed around the room at most of my family who were gathered here. Elaine was in the kitchen with our Youngest daughter, hurriedly making sandwiches for hungry young mouths to feed whilst the rest of the house was in complete chaos, a mixture of chase and catch and running around with toy cars in hand !! I Thought " if i could just take a snap of this scene in my mind and guarantee it would stay there it would be the best present ever , but deep down i know i couldnt because of my Dementia, and no matter how many pics where taken that day, chances are i won't remember them in the near future, this is such a cruel disease, but still....................
I sat and watched as three generations played, chatted, laughed and yes sometimes cried as one of the children fell over, or was pushed over more likely knowing my lot !!LOLL I sat there in total admiration as my two eldest granddaughter`s giggled like schoolchildren and they swapped secret stories in whispers between themselves, sat on the settee, (They are both now mothers themselves) but for that ONE moment in time, it felt to me as if they were both childrens themselves again. My youngest granddaughter, aged just three weeks was being held and cuddled by my 10 year old grandson who gazed into her eyes as if he was a proud father himself, (so very old in his ways ) whilst the rest of them, ran from room to room, screaming so loud we thought the glasses were going to shatter loll.
Whilst all this was going on myself and my son in law tried in vain to watch the football on Sky Sports and actually only saw snapshots of footballers running around and heard the odd cheer, i dont even think i saw a goal scored LOLL No matter what my dementia does, no matter how it plays out in the future, i decided there and then that even though i may not remember this moment in time in the future, i remember it now, and thats all that matters, i have had my moment and for that i am sure, somewhere in the deep recess of my brain i will always be grateful for.
Just then, another pinnacle moment of the day happened, over all the conversations going on i heard my beautiful 15 year old granddaughter say.
" Why would you ruin a perfectly good Jack Daniels with Coke !!""
yes i did say 15 years old. It was at that moment i knew i had lost yet another of my wonderful granddaughters to time itself. No longer was she the baby i held in my arms, the girl who i cuddled when she cried,or the child i had picked up on her very first day at primary school. I felt a huge lump in my throat as there, before my very eyes, a child disappeared in the time it took for her to say that sentence, but!! At that moment stood a beautiful young woman who was emerging into one of the most sensible people i have ever known, with grade A Stars in all her mock exams and a future as a vet so very much looked forward to, yes, my little girl had suddenly, in the moment, grown up. The lump in my throat started to subside, and in its place was a tremendous feeling of pride. So very happy.
Boxing day Blues ?? No not really, but certainly a day of mixed emotions xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I sat and watched as three generations played, chatted, laughed and yes sometimes cried as one of the children fell over, or was pushed over more likely knowing my lot !!LOLL I sat there in total admiration as my two eldest granddaughter`s giggled like schoolchildren and they swapped secret stories in whispers between themselves, sat on the settee, (They are both now mothers themselves) but for that ONE moment in time, it felt to me as if they were both childrens themselves again. My youngest granddaughter, aged just three weeks was being held and cuddled by my 10 year old grandson who gazed into her eyes as if he was a proud father himself, (so very old in his ways ) whilst the rest of them, ran from room to room, screaming so loud we thought the glasses were going to shatter loll.
Whilst all this was going on myself and my son in law tried in vain to watch the football on Sky Sports and actually only saw snapshots of footballers running around and heard the odd cheer, i dont even think i saw a goal scored LOLL No matter what my dementia does, no matter how it plays out in the future, i decided there and then that even though i may not remember this moment in time in the future, i remember it now, and thats all that matters, i have had my moment and for that i am sure, somewhere in the deep recess of my brain i will always be grateful for.
Just then, another pinnacle moment of the day happened, over all the conversations going on i heard my beautiful 15 year old granddaughter say.
" Why would you ruin a perfectly good Jack Daniels with Coke !!""
yes i did say 15 years old. It was at that moment i knew i had lost yet another of my wonderful granddaughters to time itself. No longer was she the baby i held in my arms, the girl who i cuddled when she cried,or the child i had picked up on her very first day at primary school. I felt a huge lump in my throat as there, before my very eyes, a child disappeared in the time it took for her to say that sentence, but!! At that moment stood a beautiful young woman who was emerging into one of the most sensible people i have ever known, with grade A Stars in all her mock exams and a future as a vet so very much looked forward to, yes, my little girl had suddenly, in the moment, grown up. The lump in my throat started to subside, and in its place was a tremendous feeling of pride. So very happy.
Boxing day Blues ?? No not really, but certainly a day of mixed emotions xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
