How many of us dread Xmas.

[Chuggalug]

I've read all the comments before adding mine, and I take my hat off to all of you. Me? Well, last year, I cooked fish for dinner! I usually do a pile of washing. There'll be music at some point, and maybe a beer for me.

Since hubby's on a special diet, now, I can't very well splash out on all the usual trimmings. Not that we ever did, but hey, as long as the bills are paid, we're warm and fed and we're clean, what more could I ask for?

Love and hugs to you all, and what a cracking event the walking will be for those going. Awesome.

 

[Annebags]

Can I join you in the room with padded walls? I might be ready to come out by 2nd Jan.

Mum has been in a nursing home for 12 weeks, has no real idea it is Christmas. doubly incontinent etc etc. Her leg is in plaster (fractured ankle as result of many falls in own home). I will go to the home, have lunch there with her and slip away when she falls asleep.

I will then be on my own with the TV and admittedly nice food and drink. Expecting a few tears to be shed. I have never not been with her at Christmas.

Wishing everyone the strength to get through it as best they can,
Anne x

 

[jen54]

I am dreading it, I just cannot find the extra energy to organise it so everyone has a great time, seems I am obligated to make it enjoyable for all, any time I moan or say I cant really be bothered with this or that..I am a scrooge..killjoy etc..this year I ma just trying not to stress, I have not a clue what is happening with my mum, as she just sint in the mood for xmas she says, as she is only just coping as it is and isn't feeling festive L( ..and forgets its upon us anyhow, not sure if she will be persuaded to be with us at xmas, but whatever it will be a hassle, as she cant be told before hand a she forgets and she will take a lot of keeping on to get ready even if she wants to come over. if not I will have to spend time up there, as I cant enjoy xmas with the thought of mum sitting alone already this week she has had two upsets as received xmas cards from friends she hasn't seem for ages, both with notes in saying their only daughter has died, another that his wife has just died each time this has upset mum greatly and set her off about dad having died earier in the year, as she has such bad short term memory, it feels to her as if he only died very recently - xmas I am sure is just going ot bring to a head all the sadness we have been through this year

 

[WIFE]

Count me in to the "I hate Christmas" brigade. Not having to cook a blasted turkey this year for the first time for I can't remember how long I realise I do not really even like Christmas fare. This year on my return from the NH I shall treat myself to a microwave jacket potato, baked beans, salad and mayo - my absolute favourite meal of the moment and then slump and without any feelings of guilt, watch whatever I want to on the tele and joy of joys - no turkey carcass to be made into soup!

 

[WIFE]

So nice to read how others cope. I got a bit sad this week doing the cards, having to write notes in them telling folks that OH is now in care. Then I dithered about whether to sign the cards just from me or from both of us. Weird life.
I will be working Christmas Eve and morning, then to the CH for a while. I will then quietly close the door and kick my shoes off, as I have no other family or a dog to walk. OH's family nowhere to be seen, sons away abroad for holidays. To me that is strange, not wanting to be together for a family holiday, but they never have. I'm getting away after New Year, though, first time on my own.
I hope you all have the best holiday you can, given the circumstances. You are all amazing!


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Just had to respond to the bit about what to sign in the cards - I automatically, as I have done for 43 years - signed both our names. One thing that has caused me the most hurt so far this year apart from my husband being in a NH is the thoughtlessness of friends who have sent a Christmas card to just me. I have received quite a number and each time I scream "he's not dead yet" to the consternation of the doglet and most I have failed to respond to. Petty, maybe - hurtful, definitely.

 

[blandford516]

Hi ,

Not sure if I am dreading Christmas or not . I am cooking again this year ,which I dont mind which might prove a good distraction for me this year . As mum passed away on the 30th Nov bless her . Actually I think running around getting presents for everyone ,doing the cards etc and planning the dinner has been a good distraction .I dare say when Christmas day arrives I will be sad thinking of mum and dad but will put a brave face on and get on with it .Unfortunately sympathy cards ( which I personally hate ) are arriving on the door step along with Christmas cards ! Role on Chirstmas day and 2015 and heres hoping it is going to be a better for all x

 

[angiebails]

Oh well. No money left now. Hubby wanted to find out about Xmas and took the car to ask his son who has not been in contact as he doesn't want to know. I heard the bang when he returned home, looked out and the newly painted car had the biggest scrawp. He had only driven into the garage door. I have crowbarred it back into place and got the man out for a new one to be ordered, but the stress out ways the cost. How much can we take. I'm just glad that I park my car behind our motorhome or the damage would have been enormous.


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[onlyme247]

Oh Angieballs I really feel for you this is just more heartache.You are certainly going through it .I have no solutions sorry but wanted to give my support in this small way as you must feel so very low.Maybe his son will see at long last how his father has deteriorated .My thoughts are with you at this unseemly hour.

 

[angiebails]

Xmas

 

[angiebails]

New garage door installed and Turkey cooked. Trifle made and hubby helped in the kitchen. His new tablets seem to be working as he wouldn't have done any of that 3 months ago. Up till now no stress and his mood has been good.
Happy Xmas to all and I hope a peaceful one. Enjoy a Xmas drink for me as I will be driving this Xmas and every day from now on. New year I will be selling his car so that he won't be tempted to drive it.
All the best for 2015.


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[Jinx]

Glad you had a reasonable day after all that trauma. Hope the tablets keep working.


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[Fhvn]

Just wondering how folks coped on Christmas?
I went and had Christmas lunch with my husband, who most of the time wasn't all that bothered and not understanding Christmas. Meal seemed no different to him, didn't understand presents and wasn't interested. After a couple of hours he started asking to go home, so I took that as my cue to leave. This was his first Christmas in residential care.
I give huge applause to the staff trying to make it a special day. What I thought was a bit odd though, was that all the time I was there there were no other visitors. No other family were having lunch with their loved ones, opening presents or cards, even having a sherry which was on offer for all. I thought it odd, but on reflection I would say that next year I wouldn't go for lunch, but opt for the short visit that seems less confusing. But then by the time next year comes around the whole picture may very well be different. It's, as always, about the learning curve.
Best wishes to all.

 

[Spamar]

Our Christmas - I vow OH is going for respite around Christmas next year. Nuff said!
11 on Sunday, not looking forward to that either, even though SD is helping with catering.

 

[MrsTerryN]

We won't be in the country. Going on mum's reaction to Xmas day it won't matter and if it didn't matter then it is highly unlikely to be a better reaction in 12 months time

 

[Fhvn]

Must say though, I chuckled at the possible strategy for a quiet Christmas afternoon...sherry before lunch, wine with meal, champagne with pudding, brandy in the pud and more sherry in the trifle. I was ready for a sleep after that, I hope the residents were!

 

[hokeycokey]

I was away working as DH now in CH but guilt monster came with me. However when I rang on Xmas Day there was no visiting because of sickness and diahorrea so glad I didn't stay home to go, if that makes sense. Home tomorrow and they say visiting is allowed again so will go - I had been on Monday and wasn't allowed in but left the presents etc

 

[jan.s]

Well that's another Christmas done and dusted.

Just New Year left, now.

I hope it passed reasonably well for everyone.