I can't believe how fast Dad has gone down hill

[bluejag69]

Hi, Dad has got worse really fast. On Sunday night the carer found him in the floor in the living room so called an ambulance. We arrived and got him up and sat him on the sofa. Ambulance guys turned up after 2hrs and we decided it looked like he'd just slipped off the sofa cos he was slipping while we were sitting by him. When we asked mum how long he'd been on the floor she said a couple of hours! (Mums got alzheimers too btw) she never thought it was a bit weird or to ring us up.
Anyway, we decided not to send him to hospital as he would get angry and upset. So we called the out if hrs gp to come out, they weren't goin to turn up til after midnight so I took him to the docs the next day. Bp and everything were normal but we wanted to rule out a UTI so needed a sample.
Ermm not gonna happen. He got really angry and when doc asked him to do 1 he stood in the loo fir 15mins , not doin anything.
I've rang social services and they are adding another call in the evening to try and coax him into having a wash .
Anyway he's got worse since then. Saw him today and the carers have put in the file that he wet himself this morning. I tried to get him to go to the loo so we could go out and he kept walking in then comin back out. Like he didn't know how to go to the toilet.
It was so upsettung, I even pulled his pants and undies down to see if that'd help but he suddenly got angry so I walked away. We did go out in the car for a coffee but it was like takin a toddler out, I took soare pants with me just incase. It didnt happen thank god.
This has happened so fast, every time I see him, somethin else is missing from him. This is what I didn't want to happen to him, incontinence, well none of us want any of this to happen. I just want him to go from something else, not this! ( I know thats a terrible thing to say).

Sorry for rambling, just crackin up this wk xxx

 

[Emomam]

i know its difficult.

There are lots of things we don't expect to have to deal with as daughters of dementia sufferers. Toileting is a big one and difficult for both parties. Mum always forgets that she hasn't done anything whilst sitting on the loo as it takes a long time for it to start. She also had problems providing a sample when asked. I put an old ice cream container in the bottom off the toilet to collect urine for samples. She also wears pull up incontinence pants 24/7.

It might be an idea to mention it to the doctor as there are tablets to help and he could be referred to the continence service who can assess the problem and provide products that may help ie pads to wear and for the bed.

Just a thought.

 

[elizabeth20]

Is your dad on medication for his AD? Also a UTI may explain the sudden change but you probably know that and it must be difficult when your dad won't do the sample - someone else may come along with advice on that one.

I just wanted to let you know that I had read your post and thought it important to reply. My mum deteriorated massively after a short spell in hospital with an infection she has never regained very much since then but has plateaued so hasn't got worse. It was just another milestone to cope with and we have dealt with it by adding an extra care visit and increasing her memantine from 5mg - 10mg she also takes an anti depressant as she gets very distressed and anxious. We've had some terrible days but at the weekend she was settled, calm and didn't seem so confused.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that your dad's condition may improve if it is an infection of some kind and is treated or he may remain at the point he is now for some time and you will become ( I don't want to say used to it) resigned to the change and cope as you have been doing for so long.

It isn't awful to wish your dad had something else my dad died fairly suddenly of heart disease and how I wish mum could have been as lucky. This is an unhappy place we all find ourselves in but my mum can still see who we all are although she thinks we all live with her and today she put her arm around me....which was so lovely.

Lots of support and advice in TP it's helped me through some difficult patches - stay strong and find a smile in every day.

 

[Jess1982]

.

Hi

My dad is incontinent. My mum has dementia too so she cannot care for him. He is in a respite care home at the moment but before that there were times I'd have to help change him if he'd had an accident
Once he put his hand in it and smeared all over bathroom. Of course he didn't realise.

Another time he tried to put his incontinence pad down the loo and then went to the toilet on top of it. So I had to pull it out and clean up.

I've also had to take him to public toilets when out and pull down his pants and trousers etc.

You don't want to see your dads privates EVER! Each time I'd feel a bit traumatised afterwards.

I do understand what you're going through.

My mum has very rapidly gone downhill. In the space of a few months. Although her self care is still ok.

Thinking of you.

 

[bluejag69]

Hi guys.
Thanks for your replies , its so nice to know you're not on your own and someone knows how you feel and what you are goin through.

It turns out doctor thinks he's got a chest infection and a water infection so he's on antibiotics for a week. I just hope this incontinence will disappear with the tablets or if not then its probably here to stay and we will have to deal with it.
I went round this morning and caught him weeing in the sink whilst flushing the loo! Well hey at least he was in the right place and his undies were down. Went downstairs and there's a wee puddle by the sink, nice!!! He's probably stood in it too!

J xxx

 

[clover89]

Here's hoping your Dad is soon feeling brighter with the antibiotics. Hope you are looking after yourself too!!!
On the plus side at least it was only a wee puddle by the sink.....
If you ever fancy a chat message me, always up for a natter. Xxx

 

[Emomam]

bad behaviour

My mum has always been very a good laugh but in hospital last year she outdid herself. When I went to vist her one of the staff told me that the night before mum had opened the tap on her catheter bag and was found lasoing it around her head and spraying the nurses when the contents, who were trying to duck. I was mortified. The nurses however thought it was hilarious. That was an infection too, it makes people with dementia behave in mysterious ways.

Keep laughing. A sense of humour helps.

 

[starryuk]

When I went to vist her one of the staff told me that the night before mum had opened the tap on her catheter bag and was found lasoing it around her head and spraying the nurses when the contents

Sorry, but this has made me smile. In a strange sort of way, you have to admire your mum's ingenuity. How did she think of that??!!

 

[Emomam]

God knows but I can laugh now.


Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point

 

[bluejag69]

Well Dad not only peed himself but the other too, but poor mum had to deal with it on her own. She said he was sorry! Poor Dad. Someone said it was prob the antibiotics. I thought , great, they r supposed to stop him peeing himself and look what's happened .

Anyway , today theres a bit if Dad back. He's a bit down, feels like a nuisance, told me to tighten his scarf tighter round his neck. Apart from that he must be feeling a bit better cos he refused care this morning. But he's still goin into the loo and not knowing what he's there for.

I said to him did he want a cuddle today and he gave me one back. This is a man who never cuddled us. Then he said he loved me. Prob hate me tomorrow!

Well I've upped his care package and now someoe goes in at 11.15pm to check he's safeand not onthe floor. Mum not happy and has told them she doesnt want them, but I'm persaveering. I can't fault the social services , they've been really good at getting back to me.

Anyway.let's just see what another day brings!

J xxx