Visiting Rules in care home

[lin1]

Hello
TBPH I would be very worried about any care/nursing home who restricted visiting times.
I would have thought they would be most willing to have people there when their relative needed help to eat.
Maybe it's time to start looking around again

 

[Snaxie]

Well I am going in this morning and I am going to have a word with management, I am also going to say I am thinking about moving mum, which I really hate the thought of uprooting her again but her welfare is the most important thing.

 

[LYN T]

Well I am going in this morning and I am going to have a word with management, I am also going to say I am thinking about moving mum, which I really hate the thought of uprooting her again but her welfare is the most important thing.

Be strong and calm. I must say I don't blame you for wanting to move your Mum.

I hope you get some answers today

Take care

Lyn T

 

[Snaxie]

Well that was a waste of time (apart from seeing my mum of course) I spoke to the under manager saying I wasn't happy and felt we needed to compromise on visiting times, she basically said that they have a protected mealtime policy and the rules are in place to protect all the residents, I said I understood that am quite happy to sit with Mum in another room if some of the other residents hadn't finished their food. I have always visited about 5.00 pm (about an hour after the start of evening meal time) and on the odd occasion there are maybe one or two residents still in the dining room - usually just sitting waiting to be taken into the lounge not actually eating - my mum is one of the slowest eaters there. But then it was about how busy the staff were after dinner with the toileting etc. Anyway the upshot of it is that I need to talk to the manager (who is on holiday). So I will be talking to her next week.

Slightly frustrated!!!

 

[Pickles53]

I find it hard to see how the busyness of the staff should prevent you from visiting at the time you want. The only impact on staff in my mum's care home was that someone needed to 'buzz' me in and out and how long does that take? I always tried to to wait to leave until I could see someone was free to open the front door.

In fact I think that being there at a mealtime actually helped as my mum needed encouragement to eat and eventually feeding, so if I was there it actually freed up a member of staff to help someone else.

If you can't reach a compromise on this I would start looking somewhere else though I know that brings its own set of problems....

 

[Witzend]

Well that was a waste of time (apart from seeing my mum of course) I spoke to the under manager saying I wasn't happy and felt we needed to compromise on visiting times, she basically said that they have a protected mealtime policy and the rules are in place to protect all the residents, I said I understood that am quite happy to sit with Mum in another room if some of the other residents hadn't finished their food. I have always visited about 5.00 pm (about an hour after the start of evening meal time) and on the odd occasion there are maybe one or two residents still in the dining room - usually just sitting waiting to be taken into the lounge not actually eating - my mum is one of the slowest eaters there. But then it was about how busy the staff were after dinner with the toileting etc. Anyway the upshot of it is that I need to talk to the manager (who is on holiday). So I will be talking to her next week.

Slightly frustrated!!!

So what if the staff are 'busy with toileting'? You would not be interfering with that. I can't help feeling that a CH that doesn't want relatives there at mealtimes has something to hide, though I do understand that they may not want people arriving or leaving at very busy times if they have to be let in and out, as is usual at a secure CH.

 

[lin1]

So what if the staff are 'busy with toileting'? You would not be interfering with that. I can't help feeling that a CH that doesn't want relatives there at mealtimes has something to hide, though I do understand that they may not want people arriving or leaving at very busy times if they have to be let in and out, as is usual at a secure CH.

I think the same.

 

[Snaxie]

Thank you again everyone for your comments, your support is priceless xx

 

[love.dad.but..]

Complete open door policy at dad's nursing home, key coded door. I only avoid mealtimes because Dad eats better if not distracted when I'm there and the staff are very kind, caring and helpful but all the staff have made it clear that I and any other resident's visitors are welcome at any time, as it should be. Like Witzend I would be very sceptical of their reasons and actually for me, their restrictive reasons pose more questions than they answer - so stretched that they can't open the door to a relative, such tight control on when visitors may or may not come - indeed I would be thinking they don't want me to see something. Be polite, firm and assertive with the Manager, don't let her fob you off - if CQC did an unannounced inspection would they be told it wasn't convenient to the residents or staff - of course not! Good luck, take someone with you for moral support but if it were me I would change homes to one that had an open door nothing to hide proud for everyone to see what we do type of home.

 

[TinaT]

Please do tell the CQC of this. I'm sure they would be interested!

xxTinaT

 

[nellbelles]

I really think you have to be strong and carry on fighting this.

I was always welcome what ever time I arrived, in fact one mealtime I was asked if I wanted something to eat.

If I arrived or left during the meal time it might mean I had to wait till someone came to the office to open the door, but I totally understood that.

In my opinion it is unacceptable.

 

[Brogues]

Protected mealtime thats TOSH

Having extra folk around at meal times is good - you found your mum alone with a meal on a tray not eating which is how i found my mum and a reason mums home FAILED an inspection

Report your concerns to CQC

I'm not sure who they are protecting but you mums best interests are to see you as often as you can get to see her xx

 

[DianeW]

I agree it's not acceptable, when my uncle was in a care home, I was immediately given the code to the door, and was made very welcome anytime. I was often there at 11pm +.
We were no bother, just stayed in his room chatting really, often the staff offered me drinks, snacks etc, and I could go help myself to drinks, biscuits, or cakes.

They were really wonderful with him, staff even came in to see him on their days off, when he was very very poorly near the end.

If you don't get the response you want....I would definitely look elsewhere.

 

[jan.s]

My husband's care home has protected mealtimes; protected from visiting professionals who have a knack of turning up just as lunch is served. Who wants to have their toe nails cut whilst eating lunch?

Such times are not protected from the relatives. When I go in, it means an extra pair of hands to support feeding, or just encouraging others to eat and drink.

As I and others have said it seems they are trying to hide something. I would speak to the manager, and if you don't get anywhere, go to CQC.

 

[lin1]

My husband's care home has protected mealtimes; protected from visiting professionals who have a knack of turning up just as lunch is served. Who wants to have their to nails vut whilst eating lunch?

Such times are not protected from the relatives. When I go in, it means an extra pair of hands to support feeding, or just encouraging others to eat and drink.

As I and others have said it seems they are trying to hide something. Speak to the manager, and if you don't get anywhere, go to CQC.

Thanks for this Jan.s
To me this Is what protected mealtimes are all about, whether in hospital or a home.
IMO they should never be used to keep families from visiting their relatives.

 

[truth24]

Agree with other posters. Am welcomed with smiles at any time and am always asked if I want to stay and have a meal with my OH if I happen to be there when it is being served. No I don't have a code and my own key for entry but don't expect one as it is a secure dementia home and I'm sure there are reasons for this. Yes, I sometimes have to wait for a few minutes until staff let me in but also understand that they are busy caring and it is not always convenient for them to drop what they are doing just to open the door for me. I have to say that in these days of bad publicity for care homes, I feel very fortunate in our choice. It is not purpose built, rather an extended Victorian house a bit like a rabbit warren inside, but it is clean and comfortable. The staff from the manager down are amazing in their empathy and care for the residents and very supportive to the families. Often receive hugs if I am upset, and what they are trying to do to stimulate the brain with various activities is so interesting. I think that most homes are probably like this and it is just the very few bad eggs that come to light now and then and they deserve to be exposed to protect our loved ones. Sorry for the rant. Will climb off my hobby horse now!

Sent from my GT-N5110

 

[Purple Rose]

I am horrified by some of the comments made about the care homes your loved ones are living in. I realise I must be very lucky because my mum's home is absolutely fantastic. The staff are fantastic with the residents and are always friendly and welcoming to visitors. I can visit any time, day or night and have an access code to let myself in. I regularly go at meal times because I find it gives me a purpose as mum is beyond conversation now. The staff are grateful when I do this as it gives them more time to feed other residents - why would your care homes not think this is a good idea? I have set up a knitting group for residents on a fortnightly basis which goes down very well. Not much knitting goes on but there is lots of chat and singing to the CDs I bring with me. It seems to me that any restrictions on visiting suggests the care home may have something to hide.

 

[Snaxie]

Well I am going in again today to talk to the actual manager, I have also been told that protected mealtimes is something that is put in place so that a patient/resident is not disturbed by medical professionals during meal times and I will point this out (politely). I have also talked to the lady responsible for residents in care homes from our local mental health team and she was of the same opinion as you all that I should be allowed to visit when I want within reason.

I shall keep you updated. I shall also put in a complaint to the CQC

xx

 

[Snaxie]

It seems that threatening to take my mum out of the home has finally achieved a compromise, I can now visit out of the 'Visiting Hours' and sit with my mum in her room so this evening I am going to go see her at 5 (5.30 is the official visiting time) and see what happens.

Thank you again to everyone who has taken their time to offer their thoughts and guidance. xx

 

[lin1]

Hi. At least you now have reached a compromise .
But to be honest , It still doesn't sit well with me.
I suggest you still look around for somewhere nice that can cater for your mum's needs and won't turn a hair whatever time you visit.