Mum died this morning

[Lou99]

I haven't posted much in the last couple of years since mum got dementia - but have been a regular reader and found much support and solace from this forum.

My mum died this morning - after breaking her hip six weeks ago she never really recovered and I think she had a heart attack as I just arrived after CPR - which she didnt make.

I don't really know why I'm writing this to you all - but in the early stages of grief seems like you don't know what to do with yourself between the crying. Just wanted to feel some connection with people who know what I'm going through I suppose - tell me this pain gets better - I feel like my heart has been completely broken - lou

 

[leicester61]

Im so sorry for your loss xxxxx

 

[Tin]

So sorry its a sad time and your emotions must be all over the place. I hope you find some peace and comfort soon.

 

[2jays]

So sorry to read about your mum

It will get better. In it's own time. In the way that is right for you. Don't listen to people who tell you how you should be, listen to yourself.

Thank you for letting you us know so we can hold your hand during this awful time for you xxx


Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point

 

[Saffie]

I'm so sorry. Please accept my sympathy.
I know what you mean about not know ing what to do between bouts of crying.
iI used to come here. x

 

[marionq]

When you lose your mother you lose a big part of who you are. I remember the feeling that no one would ever care again about anything I thought or felt. All the unsaid conversations bother you unless you concentrate on the ones you did have which made a difference to you both.

It will ease just as the cliches about time healing say. My own mother was ill and died at 85 so her time had come and she was not struggling to stay. That is the positive I cling to.

Good thoughts and wishes to you Lou.

 

[lilysmybabypup]

I'm so sorry Lou, it is so very hard. I lost my dad last year and I still feel it every day, but the shape and depth of grief does change with time. It's ok to feel utterly heartbroken and lost right now. Sometimes people expect you to deal with it more easily if the person you've lost had been slowly slipping away. I disagree, it hurts exactly the same, regardless of the circumstances.

I hope you have some support and comfort close by and wish you peace and strength.

Stephanie, xxx

 

[cragmaid]

Lou, I'm so sorry that you have lost your Mum. It does hurt, and sadly it will hurt at the times you least expect, like when you're laughing at something and think " I must tell Mum that...." Or when you see a bargain in the supermarket and don't have to buy one for you and one for Mum...
Everything will feel raw and yet numb just now. Take your time and if the tears flow....let them.
One day the smiles will come back with the memories.x.x.

 

[Pickles53]

So sorry to hear that another one of us is facing tragic loss. Lou, I lost my mum just over a week ago and I suppose I wanted to post here because over the last few months TPers have offered me so much comfort and kindness as well as practical help. We know how it feels, and it is inspirational to know how bravely people deal with the hardest moments.

My thoughts are with you and I wish you and all your family strength and peace in the days to come.

 

[starryuk]

Oh Lou, I am so sorry to hear about your mum.

You asked if it would get better. Not for a little while, probably. After all losing your mum is very, very sad.

I lost my mum in May. I cried almost continuously for days as I am sure you will. After a while I managed to hold it together until somebody was kind to me. Now, 6 months down the line, some of the saddest images are fading and I have glimpses in my mind of my smiling, happy mum. I still cannot bear to look at photos though, strange though it might seem. So it does get better, but of course it's not quite the same any more.

You must be in shock at the moment, so be kind to yourself. Do only what you want to do. Nothing else. Give yourself space and cry as much as you want.

 

[Izzy]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm glad it helps to come here.

 

[angecmc]

So sorry for your loss xx

Ange

 

[Grannie G]

I`m so sorry Lou. It sounds like it was a shock rather than expected and that is always harder to cope with.

This is the best place to come when you need a shoulder to cry on. There are many shoulders on offer. xx

 

[Rathbone]

Loving thoughts to you and your family, Lou. X

 

[LYN T]

I'm very sorry for your loss-you must feel terrible.

I wish you strength to grieve your Mum the way you need to

Take care

Lyn T XXX

 

[seasong]

I completely feel your pain Lou. Very little anyone can say right now will make you feel better. Take your time to grief and think that your mum would want you to be happy after this terrible shock passes. I know it is not easy...Think also of all other people who are going through immense loss and pain right now...Life is stronger than pain and in the end we must stick with life.
Warmest wishes and my thoughts will stay with you.
Seasong


Sent from my iPad using Talking Point

 

[nicoise]

I always feel it is too soon, and we are never really ready, however poorly someone had become.

It sounds as though your mum had a very sudden downturn, and that must have been very shocking for you - you didn't have time to prepare yourself.

You hurt because you loved your mum, and that is natural. And we do have to endure feeling this way, because that too is natural.

The aching hurt does subside, but in its own time. Be kind to yourself, and only do what has to be done.

Take care - and do come to TP if you need to talk x

 

[Lou99]

Thank you all

For your lovely and heartfelt wishes - of course they made me cry harder. - I still can't believe I shall never see her dear face again - but I know I'm not the only one going through this dreadul pain Lou x

 

[Lindy50]

So sorry to hear this news Lou. I hope you have someone with you? It's such a shock ..

Sending you (((hugs)))

Lindy xx

 

[keywest67]

Like you I have not really posted much in the past 2 years but the site has still been a huge help to me, I have been told today my dad has a few more days if that and like you I have come to TP for support, I am very sorry for your loss and understand how you feel, hope it's a comfort to know we are here x