waiting for the end

[Neph]

Have talked to mums doctor about taking her off her supplements, which she did on Monday after agreeing with me that enough was enough. Mum is a little over four and a half stone, doubly incontinent, mostly bed ridden and pretty much unable to talk.

I'm worn out with trying to keep everything normal for the rest of the family, she is constantly on my mind and I'm tired of crying. I just want it to be over.

Called in today and the manager wants to call the end of life team, so I feel we are in those final stages, but it's so hard it could be a few months yet and I really am not sure how much more I can take. Hubby is trying to be supportive but is not good at being empathetic, I feel he doesn't understand just how far my mum has deteriorated since he last saw her.

Thing is that I have always been the one who does everything, who sorts everything out and all I want to do is pull the duvet over my head until it's all over, but I won't, I'll still visit once a week, I'll still do all the running around and dealing with stuff and I am sure in a couple of days I'll feel a bit better. So tired of this limbo.

Sorry just needed to have a bit of a moan.

 

[marionq]

Go right ahead and offload. It would be lovely to walk away but we cannot do that and so we have to just plod along hoping for better times somehow. My husband has good and bad days and right now is goodish. Your poor wee Mum sounds near the end of the road and she is fortunate to have you there for her. Hang on in there.

 

[fizzie]

I am so sorry. It sounds as though you have had a really difficult journey and coped really well and been very brave and supportive. Your Mum would be really proud of you. The end of life team will help you through the next stage. Offload on them and take all the support you can get and take care of yourself. Perhaps a duvet day is just what the doctor ordered for you. A day off might be a good idea as you may well need a bit more of that core strength in the weeks to come. One day won't hurt and the manager will phone you if they need you urgently. Treat yourself. Will be thinking of you x

Have talked to mums doctor about taking her off her supplements, which she did on Monday after agreeing with me that enough was enough. Mum is a little over four and a half stone, doubly incontinent, mostly bed ridden and pretty much unable to talk.

I'm worn out with trying to keep everything normal for the rest of the family, she is constantly on my mind and I'm tired of crying. I just want it to be over.

Called in today and the manager wants to call the end of life team, so I feel we are in those final stages, but it's so hard it could be a few months yet and I really am not sure how much more I can take. Hubby is trying to be supportive but is not good at being empathetic, I feel he doesn't understand just how far my mum has deteriorated since he last saw her.

Thing is that I have always been the one who does everything, who sorts everything out and all I want to do is pull the duvet over my head until it's all over, but I won't, I'll still visit once a week, I'll still do all the running around and dealing with stuff and I am sure in a couple of days I'll feel a bit better. So tired of this limbo.

Sorry just needed to have a bit of a moan.

 

[Pigeon11]

Keep going Neph. You've been with her all the way and it seems it won't be long now. You know where to find me if you need to talk xxx

 

[Neph]

Thank you all, I think it's everything else that's just pulling up on top of me st the moment.

 

[Witzend]

Awful for you, Neph. I hope it won't be too long for your poor mum. x

 

[rozz]

Hi,
If the end of life team have been involved, it shouldn't be too long, I hope. Our Dad died at the beginning of the month, and it was peaceful and a great relief to all. You have done your very best, and should be proud of that. No one else really 'gets it' - but you are doing it for yourself and your mum, that's what matters.

 

[caring a]

keep strong neph,you know youve done your very best and thats all anybody can do,,,
look on your mums passing as a blessing,,shes taken on the fight with az and won ,carnt hurt her no more,shes at peace,
kisses,,,,,

 

[Weary]

Thinking of you and praying for you all, and hoping for a peaceful end for your mum x

 

[Neph]

Again thank you all, feeling a little better today, or at least a little more able to cope.