I have just joined and would like tips on the basics, please. My husband has early dementia and I will be trying to find different things to help him, and me, such as a suitable clock that states the day and a really cheap and simple pay as you go phone.
HELP, new member
- Thread starter Billy's Girl
- Start date
Hi Sue and welcome to Talking Point.
You might want to have a look at some of the threads in the Equipment and Technology forum.
You might want to have a look at some of the threads in the Equipment and Technology forum.
Hello Welcome to TP
I am sorry to hear about your Husbandand I hope you find TP as helpful and supportive as I have
My dad has a really easy mobile phone made by Binatone, I will have a look for a link, amongst other things it has big buttons a loud ring tone, an SOS button that will ring /text pre programmed numbers
though its not cheap its not too dear either, I dont know if you can get it on PaGo
here is a link to the binatone site. my dad has the speakeasy 300
but their are others
hope this helps
http://www.binatonetelecom.com/products/mobilephones
I am sorry to hear about your Husbandand I hope you find TP as helpful and supportive as I have
My dad has a really easy mobile phone made by Binatone, I will have a look for a link, amongst other things it has big buttons a loud ring tone, an SOS button that will ring /text pre programmed numbers
though its not cheap its not too dear either, I dont know if you can get it on PaGo
here is a link to the binatone site. my dad has the speakeasy 300
but their are others
hope this helps
http://www.binatonetelecom.com/products/mobilephones
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calendar
There's an old thread on here about calendar clocks which might be right for you
I dont know if the links in that thread still work though
http://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/showthread.php?9900-where-can-I-buy-a-calendar-clock
There's an old thread on here about calendar clocks which might be right for you
I dont know if the links in that thread still work though
http://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/showthread.php?9900-where-can-I-buy-a-calendar-clock
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Age uk also do a super simple phone. More info here:
http://www.ageuk.org.uk/products/communications/mobile-phones/
http://www.ageuk.org.uk/products/communications/mobile-phones/
Bringing hubby home for day
Today I brought my husband home for the day thinking I was doing right. He has been in his care home for four weeks and has settled well. When I got him to the front door he had an 'accident' which my son in law and I dealt with. I was then on my own with him and put a film on and had a nice lunch and felt happy and content like old times. He quickly settled down in his chair and snoozed on and off.
However when I was due to take him back he announced he wanted to stay at home now. I am still consumed with guilt over him being there but he went there after being hospitalised following serious falls. He is very immobile and incontinent. I went through all scenarios in my head to see a way through and not take him back and look after him myself. I was heartbroken but realised even sleeping at home is not safe as he has a bed with sides on. My daughter came and after a chat in another room went in and said it was time for him to go back. He agreed and cheerfully went as if nothing had happened and she told me he settled straight back in with the other residents.
My query is, should I bring him home for the day? I visit every day as luckily I am only ten minutes away. I am in a very sad and unhappy place right now
Today I brought my husband home for the day thinking I was doing right. He has been in his care home for four weeks and has settled well. When I got him to the front door he had an 'accident' which my son in law and I dealt with. I was then on my own with him and put a film on and had a nice lunch and felt happy and content like old times. He quickly settled down in his chair and snoozed on and off.
However when I was due to take him back he announced he wanted to stay at home now. I am still consumed with guilt over him being there but he went there after being hospitalised following serious falls. He is very immobile and incontinent. I went through all scenarios in my head to see a way through and not take him back and look after him myself. I was heartbroken but realised even sleeping at home is not safe as he has a bed with sides on. My daughter came and after a chat in another room went in and said it was time for him to go back. He agreed and cheerfully went as if nothing had happened and she told me he settled straight back in with the other residents.
My query is, should I bring him home for the day? I visit every day as luckily I am only ten minutes away. I am in a very sad and unhappy place right now
Sue, hi
So sorry that you are in a very sad and unhappy place right now, it makes decisions like this almost impossible as it's so difficult to see who is getting what out of your husband leaving his present care home for the day.
I'm so pleased that you have such good help and support, your daughter and her husband are obviously very close and there for you both. I'm glad that this visit ended well and there was no harm done.
I'm only strong while I visit my husband in his care home, at home alone it's a different matter so I'm not going to give you any advice but I can tell you that I sympathise and feel for you, it's early days and there aren't any right answers, taking care of yourself matters and doing what is right for you.
With kindest best wishes from Jo
So sorry that you are in a very sad and unhappy place right now, it makes decisions like this almost impossible as it's so difficult to see who is getting what out of your husband leaving his present care home for the day.
I'm so pleased that you have such good help and support, your daughter and her husband are obviously very close and there for you both. I'm glad that this visit ended well and there was no harm done.
I'm only strong while I visit my husband in his care home, at home alone it's a different matter so I'm not going to give you any advice but I can tell you that I sympathise and feel for you, it's early days and there aren't any right answers, taking care of yourself matters and doing what is right for you.
With kindest best wishes from Jo
I too am only a few minutes away, and visit daily, but I would never bring John home, for the very reasons you state. It's so hard, I know, but any joy is quickly negated if you have to deal with incontinence and pleading to stay at home.
But when we go to hospital appointments, I try to take him to a café, or restaurant, so we can have a "date". But, sadly, he doesn't remember it at all.
But when we go to hospital appointments, I try to take him to a café, or restaurant, so we can have a "date". But, sadly, he doesn't remember it at all.
I'm afraid I agree with Scarlett. Have been so tempted to do the same thing but the thought of such distress at the end of the visit, for both of us, has dissuaded me. Understand how you feel, to desperately need to spend time together again in your home as you used to but, in my case, I know it would end, literally, in tears.
Sent from my GT-N5110
Sent from my GT-N5110
Oh you poor lass Sue. What could be more human and natural than your overwhelming yearning to spend, (even if just occasionally) a few hours sitting at home together again, in comfortable contentment? You must be missing him dreadfully. I'm so sad that it turned out to be such a huge disappointment for you.
It seems that a, 'will of iron' is necessary when a beloved OH is newly settled into a Care Home. Not at all easy when you have spent years trying to make life as pleasant as possible for him, and you are still feeling raw about his sudden absence from your daily life.
Do you have transport? Can you manage small trips to your old haunts, or local places of interest - you might still be able to re-kindle some of the closeness and the mutual enjoyment of time together that you have been missing.
I send Big Hugs to you.
The experience of those further down the, 'Care Home Route' than you and me, tells us that it's in your OH's best interest that he has time to settle in and - yes, I know it hurts - forget about his home.
Whenever I'm asked what I think about John's Care Home, I always say that it isn't home, it could never be, but it's his home now. It's so hard for you, I know, and I know you're thinking about your hubby, and trying to do something pleasant for him, and I know from experience how sad and unhappy this newly-separated situation can be for you.
But you have to be strong sweetie. I'm 5 months down the Care Home line now, and things have got easier, but it takes time. And I'm still liable to murder anyone who says anything even faintly critical about what I've done.
The only people who truly understand are your friends here on Talking Point. We know what a rotten lousy situation you're in, and how your heart breaks for the completely different person your lovely man has become.
But you have to be strong sweetie. I'm 5 months down the Care Home line now, and things have got easier, but it takes time. And I'm still liable to murder anyone who says anything even faintly critical about what I've done.
The only people who truly understand are your friends here on Talking Point. We know what a rotten lousy situation you're in, and how your heart breaks for the completely different person your lovely man has become.
Just read all your comments which I really appreciate and have given me food for thought. Shed a few tears reading them but they all make good sense. Today is a new day and even though I already feel worn out, after a poor nights sleep, I will try and work out alternatives to take my husband out and spend precious time together.
I hope today has been better for you, and you have a better night's sleep. xxx
