Yak yak yak!

[Rageddy Anne]

For those whose loved ones no longer communicate in words this will seem so unfair, but if my husband's constant yakking doesn't shut up soon I will have to scream! Instead I'm on here moaning. It's a safety valve.

If I've had certain news items read out to me once today, I've heard them thirty or more times! I can now re.peat every newspaper article word for word, and if I have to feign outrage over a.reported crime once more I could start screaming and never stop! Instead, I can thank you for understanding that I DO NOT WANT TO HEAR ABOUT BEHEADINGS ONCE MORE.............on and on and on and in and on and on........

 

[jeany123]

Oh dear you as well, I thought nobody could be as bad as Allen you have my empathy it drives me round the bend,

He also repeats all the names mentioned on the TV, football is going to be fun tonight he asks me dozens of times which colour are England playing in

PS, i am good at feigning outrage over something dreadful that I have heard about 100 times already today,and surprise when he shows me his tin with his money in as though he has just found it, after he has shown it to me every hour all day,

 

[LYN T]

Well my Husband doesn't communicate with words-but I can remember when he did, and he was just like your OH

My Husband's way with word repetition was to read a novelists name to me-the more obscure the better. That's why he liked the foreign ones best

It's obviously not their fault-but by heck it's sooooo wearing.

Equivalent to water torture -a constant drip, drip, drip of the same.

So I do understand

 

[Oxy]

Also get repetition.

 

[jaymor]

Rageddy Anne your post brings back memories. My husband had always enjoyed reading the newspaper starting, like most men, on the back page. He would read his news paper I would read my book.

As dementia started to take a hold he started to ask me had a read a certain article and would then proceed to read it out aloud to me. A few articles became every blessed word in the paper and when he had finished he went back to the front and started all over again.

He would comment on different bits as if he was reading it for the first time. No matter how often I told him I had already read the paper ( never reminded him so had he) he continued reading to me. It drove me mad and I found myself reading the same couple of paragraphs from my book over and over again.

I bought him a couple of word search books, really thick ones and got him to do those.

I do empathise, it drove me to distraction, a pity I could not distract him.

Jay

 

[pamann]

Hello ragetty Anne l put ear plugs in my ears as l can't read or watch tv, as my husband never stops telling me the same thing over and over again, he doesn't seem bothered that l don't answer him, give it a try.♥♥♥

Sent from my GT-P5210 using Talking Point mobile app

 

[Scarlett123]

Oh Rageddy Ann, how I sympathise with you. As you say, it's not their fault, but it's not ours either. When John and I went to the Psychiatric Geriatrician yesterday, during the 30 minute journey he either asked me (1) "where are we going", or (2) "are THEY after us", or his beloved favourite (3) "is it Thursday" about a million times.

I found myself as tense as a violin string, and trying to resist the urge to bash my head against the windscreen. Then the heavens opened, to the extent that the windscreen wipers couldn't cope. And when John mildly asked "is it raining" I wanted to cry.

So I sang "It's raining in my heart" and John joined in, word perfect. I gave it real gusto when I got to the line "oh misery, misery. What's gonna become of mee-ee-ee-eee". Isn't that selfish.

 

[Ann Mac]

You have my sympathy, Rageddy Anne - its so frustrating and endless

We've discovered that if Mil heads up the stairs, any time before 10, then we are almost guaranteed to have her knocking at, or walking through our bedroom door at any time between 3 and 4 a.m., wanting her breakfast - and if we get her back to bed, chances are, she then goes to one of the children's rooms, asking for ' a bit of toast and tea'. If we keep her up till 10, it doesn't necessarily mean we won't have a disturbed night -but it does mean she is easier to persuade back into bed, and far more likely to stay there.

But keeping her up till 10pm means that from around 6pm onwards, we get an almost constant 'I think I'll go to bed now', and her getting up from her seat and heading for the door - and some (most) nights, its every 2 to 3 minutes. We explain no, she must stay up till she has her last tablets, she will sit back down - then up again, and 'I think I'll go to bed now'. This continues even when she is sundowning, and 'I think I'll go to bed now', is currently up there with 'I'm going home now/today/tomorrow', in terms of the dripping tap torture. Trying to watch TV, or concentrate on a book is well nigh impossible, and once or twice, I've snapped, only to have her send me a reproachful look and say 'I'm sorry I only asked, I didn't know', which makes me feel awful - because, of course, she really doesn't know

 

[LYN T]

Of course she doesn't know Ann

You know that, all carers know that, but that does not make it any easier. Our tiredness takes over, the boredom takes over, the need for a 'normal' life takes over. It's all so wearing

My sympathy to anyone who is going through this stage with their loved ones.

Try to have good days without too much repetition

Lyn T

 

[di65]

This is all SO familiar.
YES to the newspaper being read out again and again, YES to what colour are we playing in ( let's face it, NZ plays in black 99.9% of the time, in just about every sport they play ), YES to trying to follow a book or a TV program. YES to hiding the mail after being asked if that is today's mail and what is it (after the 20th time and the fact that he brought it in in the first place)
I guess we shouldn't grumble, as some of you have said, one day we will wish they would utter just one word. But that is in the future (maybe) and we all live from day to day.

Stay strong (kia kaha) everyone

 

[Hair Twiddler]

Our favourite freezer.......

We have a different form of repetition - certain sections in the supermarket. Every week the same sections get scrutinised in detail. They are fish food pots, bottled water and the frozen prawns freezer. This last one is the one that gives mum most pleasure, all the different packs/bags and boxes are read and the pictures studied usually ending with "I don't like any of these". Ironically mum does like prawns.

 

[Louisek100]

Slightly different I know!!

I feel sorry for you, mine is slightly different in that he is unable to make a sentence or any conversation. Instead he stands at a mirror for hours just clapping his hands, dancing side to side and laughing - this is very upsetting too. Saying that he is in a nursing home so I only experience it for hours at a time , several times a week , not daily...
Its soul destroying.

 

[Chuggalug]

For those whose loved ones no longer communicate in words this will seem so unfair, but if my husband's constant yakking doesn't shut up soon I will have to scream! Instead I'm on here moaning. It's a safety valve.

If I've had certain news items read out to me once today, I've heard them thirty or more times! I can now re.peat every newspaper article word for word, and if I have to feign outrage over a.reported crime once more I could start screaming and never stop! Instead, I can thank you for understanding that I DO NOT WANT TO HEAR ABOUT BEHEADINGS ONCE MORE.............on and on and on and in and on and on........

I used to get this when my hubby was WELL! I'd be reading a book and he'd keep interrupting. Now, I don't get a murmur. Isn't it strange how things change. He was also a pure hypochondriac. You wouldn't want to know what the daily breakfast monologue used to be. You really wouldn't. So, as much as I DO have things to carry today that drive me up the wall, thank goodness, these two are not part of it.

And it's about to storm, so I hope the doors stay closed! No doubt, he'll still be looking for the cat or the car every few minutes...

 

[Chocolateear]

I know it sounds strange but reading this thread is quite reassuring. My hubby never shuts up either. He is constantly telling the television to shut up, making comments about the adverts, actors on programmes or songs on the radio.
That's when he is not constantly going on about the DVLA, his license and when he's going to get it back.
Yesterday he spent the day in bed because he had a bad reaction to his flu jab and I know it sounds awful but he slept a lot and it was bliss.
Reading all the comments on here, they were all so familiar, so my heart goes out to you all.

 

[jeany123]

Sounds just like my husband apart from the DVLA


Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point

 

[Oxy]

I did like the term'tense as a violin string'. Yes, I feel like that too at times. It makes me feel bad. Also boredom-no stimulation-feel bad because some people can't talk but broken record is so tiresome. 'I'm hungry' at all times and then singing 'why are we waiting' puts me off wanting to cook. I do do it but nicer meals im sure on days where that is not order of day.
Yet at times of silence when all you can hear is munching or stroking of trouser material repeatedly also is hard. As is loud sniffing!! I feel very disloyal now.

 

[Chocolateear]

I did like the term'tense as a violin string'. Yes, I feel like that too at times. It makes me feel bad. Also boredom-no stimulation-feel bad because some people can't talk but broken record is so tiresome. 'I'm hungry' at all times and then singing 'why are we waiting' puts me off wanting to cook. I do do it but nicer meals im sure on days where that is not order of day.
Yet at times of silence when all you can hear is munching or stroking of trouser material repeatedly also is hard. As is loud sniffing!! I feel very disloyal now.

I've just read this and it struck a chord. I have a friend who's Dad had Alzheimer's and she said that although she visited her Mum the atmosphere in the house was always tense. It is here and I hate it, but like you I feel bad too. The worst thing is feeling guilty about laughing. He has no sense of humour so quelling my laughter is so hard as I still find joy in a lot of things.
Everyday finding jobs for him to do and tensing everytime he says, 'what can I do for you now?' We've tried all sorts of hobbies but nothing lasts and then I feel cross sometimes because he can't or won't find things to do for himself, but then I feel bad again because it's not his fault.
Funny you should mention the stroking of the trouser material. For us it's scratching the arm of the chair or the duvet cover.
Like you, I feel disloyal but then his loyalty for me went out of the door ages ago, if it was ever there. I just see myself as a Carer and Housekeeper these days.

 

[fremington6]

Chocolateear, I could be reading about my husband looking at your post. Must tell you all a funny story to lighten the evening though. We're moving and am just informing all utilities. Rang Sky to arrange and to complain that the sub had been put up without notice. Oh no they said, it's the same but you had two downloads. It seems that my husband, who struggles using the controller, had managed to download The Muppets and an 'adult' film!! Without even being aware. He usually calls me to ask why TV isn't working. I explained the situation to Sky but of course payment had to be made so the moral of the story is set up two TVs, with favourite channels and hide the remote. Night night.

 

[Mal2]

Chocolateear, I could be reading about my husband looking at your post. Must tell you all a funny story to lighten the evening though. We're moving and am just informing all utilities. Rang Sky to arrange and to complain that the sub had been put up without notice. Oh no they said, it's the same but you had two downloads. It seems that my husband, who struggles using the controller, had managed to download The Muppets and an 'adult' film!! Without even being aware. He usually calls me to ask why TV isn't working. I explained the situation to Sky but of course payment had to be made so the moral of the story is set up two TVs, with favourite channels and hide the remote. Night night.

Love it..Made me smile. (Did you watch the adult film? Ha Ha)

 

[Spamar]

OH doesn't talk.....to me. No comments on the news, no asking about the family, no idea where he wants to go, just......nothing.