Today is John's birthday

[Skye]

Thank you everyone for the good wishes, and kind comments.

Must confess I'm feeling pretty flat tonight. Surprising, I've never been particularly affected by anniversaries. Even with Katie, the really bad time is the run-up to Christmas, anniversaries don't register, the pain is at a constant level. I'm surprised at how devastated I feel today.

Inspirational,kind,compassionate woman with tree

Angela, you are too kind, but thank you anyway.

Love,

 

[sue38]

I'm surprised at how devastated I feel today.

I'm sorry Hazel. Perhaps because you weren't expecting to feel so bad it has caught you unawares. I have John's picture of Santorini framed in my office and looked at it and thought of you both today.

 

[Skye]

I have John's picture of Santorini framed in my office and looked at it and thought of you both today.

Thank you Sue. It's good that people remember him.

Love,

 

[piedwarbler]

Hi Hazel
I looked at your lovely pictures and thought of you and John, but I didn't see an old woman in them. Be kind to yourself as you are so kind to others.
I joined TP after you had lost John - it seems a long time ago and a short time ago. I can't imagine how you must be feeling. X

 

[imac.girll1]

My dear Hazel, can you forgive me, i missed your post on this as this is an area i don't go into at all, so please forgive Sam and I for not being there for you today.

The tree certainly has grown so well, and like Kassy less of the old woman you look very well my dear.

Those swans and cygnets will be there for years to come, as they always stay with their partners and always nest at the same place every year, so John will always have someone watching over his tree.

The biggest of all hugs and apologies again for not posting earlier, will make up for it in a couple of weeks time when we see you. xxxxxxx

 

[Loopiloo]

Dear Hazel

I am sorry I am late, thank you for sharing the lovely photos. John has a beautiful resting place, and after being there yesterday you felt at peace. Later, how you felt was different, but to be expected at such a bitter-sweet time. I well remember reading of John's birthday celebration, his passing, his funeral, it does not seem a year ago. You have done very well, Hazel, be kind to yourself. Grief takes its own time.

Words are so inadequate at times.....

My love
Loo xxx

 

[Canadian Joanne]

Dear Hazel,
I understand what you mean by anniversaries. I also don't usually get affected by dates much at all. Christmas is the hard one for me too, it's such a major family holiday.

The garden of remembrance is beautiful and the swans are lovely. It looks like such a special place.

 

[TinaT]

I feel pain every birthday Ken has. His birthday is on New Years Day and every year of our marriage up to his illness we either threw a party or went to a party and immediately after auld lange syne we all sang happy birthday to him. Now I spend New Year's eve alone with my memories and New Year's day with him in the care home.

Doesn't do us any good does it Hazel but the pain does push through on these special occasions.

You look lovely as ever in your photo and the place is so tranquil.

xxTinaT

 

[Skye]

Thanks Tina, Joanne, loo and pied. I knew you'd understand.

Tina, it must be especially hard for you, having Ken's birthday on New Year's Day, it's always hard when a sad time for you coincides with a time of celebration for others.

I'm still feeling flat, and I don't expect I'll pick up until after 25th, the date of John's death. But I'll try not to inflict my moans on you all.

Grateful thanks to everyone who has posted.

Love,

 

[johnpatcarl]

What a lovely photo hazel you must have so many happy memories
thinking of you love johnxxx

 

[Skye]

Thank you John. Yes, I have some wonderful memories. John and I had only been married four years when he was diagnosed, fifteen when he died. But they were wonderful years!

xxxxx

 

[Sam Iam]

Hazel, thank you for posting the photo's of John. He was a lovely gentleman.

Hugs and thinking of you and looking forward to seeing you in two weeks.xxx

 

[Mameeskye]

Hazel,

I missed this earlier. I found those first anniversaries hard, even though I generally do not remember birthdays or anniversaries....just as well my OH does. I also found the few weeks leading up to that first anniversary of loss quite hard.

However you look aboslutely fantastic, the photo with the tree is lovely as is the swan and its young. It is a beautiful place where you can reminisce.

(((hugs)))

Love

Mameeskye

 

[Skye]

Thanks, Sam & Mameeskye.

Is the earth still moving in Christchurch?

Love,

 

[BeckyJan]

Just back after a few days away but wanted to let you know I understand how difficult this anniversary must be. My thoughts are with you.
Best wishes

 

[Skye]

Thanks Jan.

I hope things are OK with you and David.

Love,

 

[Mameeskye]

Hi Hazel,

Yep, the earth is still moving for us here...and not in the way that we would like

About 4-5 aftershocks so far this weekend...don't know how long it will continue for..we have stopped believing the experts and are just hoping that they stay small and frequent...when it quietens down we worry!!!!

Hope that you are having a nice summer...winter here is being kind to us, so far!

Mameeskye

 

[cragmaid]

Hazel, what a beautiful place to got to when you need to remember the love and a beautiful place when you need to forget the pain. I hope the the good can outnumber the bad when it comes to adding up the memories. Love Maureen.

 

[Skye]

I hope the the good can outnumber the bad when it comes to adding up the memories.

Oh, they do, Maureen.

My only bad memories are the grief I suffered when John went into care, and the pain he suffered that last week in hospital.

Apart from that, it's all good. John was a wonderful man, and I was so lucky that he chose me.

Love,

 

[creativesarah]

Morning Skye
sorry i mised this post earlier in the week its been so hewctic getting the exhibition up

love and support Sarah