Dementia advert on TV

[JC51]

Has anyone else seen the Dementia advert where it says " there is no cure, and at the end you die". I just managed to distract my wife before she saw it. She knows she has dementia but doesn't really understand it. Anyone who is in earlier stages may see this ad and it could really upset them. The media ought to be better informed about what dementia is actually like , for those with it and their carers.

 

[Agzy]

Not just that advert but many TV conversations which depress me and sometimes upset and even frighten her. I know we need a National conversation about dementia and be more open but balancing it to consider the feelings of those afflicted and affected with it is very difficult I would imagine.

 

[canary]

The other side of this coin is, of course, that the general public do not understand the consequences of dementia and most people who have not directly come across dementia think of it as being just "a bit of memory loss".

All the while people do not understand that it isnt just the memory, but includes change of personality, loss of mobility, loss of speech, incontinence and that it is terminal, dementia will not get funding for support and research. We already know that it is the cinderella of terminal diseases and so many people post on here commenting on the difference in support between dementia and that other feared terminal disease - cancer, which is well advertised. For people to understand about dementia, you have to tell them.

How you do this while still considering the feelings of people who have dementia I do not know, but I feel very strongly that to portray someone with dementia as a sweet elderly person who is a bit confused and looking gratefully into the eyes of a carer is doing dementia sufferers and their carers a great disservice.

 

[kindred]

The other side of this coin is, of course, that the general public do not understand the consequences of dementia and most people who have not directly come across dementia think of it as being just "a bit of memory loss".

All the while people do not understand that it isnt just the memory, but includes change of personality, loss of mobility, loss of speech, incontinence and that it is terminal, dementia will not get funding for support and research. We already know that it is the cinderella of terminal diseases and so many people post on here commenting on the difference in support between dementia and that other feared terminal disease - cancer, which is well advertised. For people to understand about dementia, you have to tell them.

How you do this while still considering the feelings of people who have dementia I do not know, but I feel very strongly that to portray someone with dementia as a sweet elderly person who is a bit confused and looking gratefully into the eyes of a carer is doing dementia sufferers and their carers a great disservice.

What on earth is it an advert for? Kindred.

 

[canary]

Sorry @kindred , have I upset you? I didnt mean to, its just a subject that I happen to feel so strongly about.
xxx

 

[Countryboy]

Has anyone else seen the Dementia advert where it says " there is no cure, and at the end you die". I just managed to distract my wife before she saw it. She knows she has dementia but doesn't really understand it. Anyone who is in earlier stages may see this ad and it could really upset them. The media ought to be better informed about what dementia is actually like , for those with it and their carers.

I wouldn’t be worried about anything you see in an advert or in the media especially BBC documentaries because it doesn’t represent the majority or the masses of those with dementias plus were all individuals all different ages so comparisons its possible I said this many times before

Both my parents had dementia and lived to the age of 85 & 93 both died of Cancer mums brother had Dementia died aged 91 of Cancer mums Sister had Dementia died aged 90 not sure what caused her death both parents and mums brother lived at Home until death I myself was diagnose with dementia in 1999 had a major operation 10 weeks ago to remove my Kidney because of Cancer just as matter of interest up until the age of 70 the only problem I had was Dementia since then I’ve had a Heart Attack, I’m Diabetic, on B12 injection Kidney Removed and could be on dialysis in couple of months because my one kidney isn’t coping well the fact I have had dementia for almost 22 years isn’t anything to do with other medical conditions it living into Old age I just accept that at some point I’ll die but I’m not going to worry about it because it will happen that’s for sure

Just as matter of interest I do take part in Various Dementia Studies on one Now.

 

[kindred]

Sorry @kindred , have I upset you? I didnt mean to, its just a subject that I happen to feel so strongly about.
xxx

Oh no canary, not at all, I am just puzzled as have not seen it! Thank you so very much. I love your presence on this forum. Kindredx

 

[jennifer1967]

maybe its a bit blunt in the message. perhaps they could flesh it out to the stages between having diagnosis and death. not saying a bit confused old lady but go through stages so they can see break down of it. by doing that way, still educates but less brutal on feelings

 

[Countryboy]

How you do this while still considering the feelings of people who have dementia I do not know, but I feel very strongly that to portray someone with dementia as a sweet elderly person who is a bit confused and looking gratefully into the eyes of a carer is doing dementia sufferers and their carers a great disservice.

But we must also remember these adverts don’t represent the Hundreds or Thousands with Dementia living well for instance I’m still driving after almost being diagnosed 22 years ago I continued working as Civil Servant for further eight years retiring aged 65 I was a member the local Alzheimer’s Society dementia leadership group there were
8 members and 7 members still drove themself to the venue at the time all but one were older than me I was 71 at the time their ages were ranging 77 to 82 and they were all still driving.

 

[jennifer1967]

How you do this while still considering the feelings of people who have dementia I do not know, but I feel very strongly that to portray someone with dementia as a sweet elderly person who is a bit confused and looking gratefully into the eyes of a carer is doing dementia sufferers and their carers a great disservice.

But we must also remember these adverts don’t represent the Hundreds or Thousands with Dementia living well for instance I’m still driving after almost being diagnosed 22 years ago I continued working as Civil Servant for further eight years retiring aged 65 I was a member the local Alzheimer’s Society dementia leadership group there were
8 members and 7 members still drove themself to the venue at the time all but one were older than me I was 71 at the time their ages were ranging 77 to 82 and they were all still driving.

also @Countryboy , might have to remember that you are more the exception to the rule than those further along and dont want to acknowledge dementia or are having problems coping with it. thats why i said maybe flesh it out a bit so not so stark and in black and white. people like my husband knows what it means for him but he doesnt necessarily want it push down his throat or rubbing salt into the wound. i call it progressive rather than terminal so its not so stark. i could be wrong and protective but it works

 

[JC51]

The thing I was trying to get at is the fact that my wife doesn’t know it’s terminal. I’m sure there are clever people out there who could have worded things differently to put in an ad. Another thing I wasn’t aware of is you can have dementia for twenty-two plus years, still be able to drive, read and write and understand everything, use a computer or tablet , and actively engage in on-line forums. I wonder how many other people on this forum have a PWD who is able to do all that. Sorry if that offends anyone, but I’ve had a rough few days and nights, and had to have a rant.

 

[JC51]

Thank you Jennifer1967, my feelings exactly.

 

[northumbrian_k]

There is a balance to be struck between the 'living well with dementia' approach and what for many is the grim reality. I tend to agree with @canary that the truth is often underplayed. I was involved in the early stages of planning the 'With a little help from my friends' advertising campaign that was launched a few years ago. It seemed like a good approach to take a well-known song by the Fab Four and adopt it as a ditty to spread the message about dementia (in particular Dementia Friends). I told friends and family to look out for it but if anyone saw it they didn't say. Knowing what I know as a carer, which I didn't know then, I would say that the campaign was insufficiently hard hitting. I haven't seen the latest ad so can't say whether it has gone too far or is too brutal.

As for dementia being a terminal illness, when my wife was first diagnosed she would ask 'how long have I got?'. In her mind was the scourge of 'the big C' that - when she was younger - was seen as an almost certain sentence of (relatively imminent) death. Of course, many people still die from cancer but 5 year (and beyond) survival rates have improved to the extent that cancer is not always terminal in the way it was once considered. In the case of dementia, it is true that many more people are now having this recorded on their death certificate as at least one of the causes of death. But dementia can take a long time to play out, often over many years of sad, slow decline. It is the gradual taking away of the living person that is dementia's worst aspect rather than the fact that it can be terminal. Ultimately all life is terminal in one way or another.

 

[jennifer1967]

There is a balance to be struck between the 'living well with dementia' approach and what for many is the grim reality. I tend to agree with @canary that the truth is often underplayed. I was involved in the early stages of planning the 'With a little help from my friends' advertising campaign that was launched a few years ago. It seemed like a good approach to take a well-known song by the Fab Four and adopt it as a ditty to spread the message about dementia. I told friends and family to look out for it but if anyone saw it they didn't let me know. Knowing what I know as a carer, which I didn't know then, I would say that the campaign was insufficiently hard hitting. I haven't seen the latest ad so can't say whether it has gone too far or is too brutal.

i agree with @canary in that it shouldnt be whimsical like that but is there a compromise or if it was seen in lots of different media sources, then canarys message would get out there and to the general populace hopefully but doesnt become to stark that PWD gets distressed. i dont know the answer but a lot of educating needs to be done, maybe even in schools and throughout life.

 

[Countryboy]

We need to look at the Positives with dementia as well

There are currently 850,000 people with dementia in the UK, more than ever before, and this number is projected to increase.

Due to the gradual nature of dementia, the mild early-stage symptoms and the low diagnosis rate, it is difficult to know the exact number of people living with the condition. Several studies have been carried out to determine the prevalence of dementia among particular age groups, and these are used to estimate the total numbers of people living with dementia in the UK.

 

[mowood]

It's some years since I had direct involvement with dementia - cared for my mother who died of dementia- so I don't usually comment, although I look in most days. I completely agree with Canary. I feel that as long as we sanitize the reality of dementia there will never be the research or funding that is so needed. It goes beyond research too. Proper funding to help those with dementia and their carers will never be achieved whilst this illness is portrayed as a social problem. The many contributors on this forum tell of the lack of understanding from friends and family. I would also add CCGs, GPs, hospital staff, social workers and care agencies, those people who SHOULD know. There needs to be much more real information and education in the general domain, as there is with cancer, so that the reality of dementia is acknowledged as the terminal illness it is and some of the horrors revealed. It used to be that the word cancer was never spoken, it was the Big C or some other euphemism. Nowadays we discuss it much more freely. We see it depicted in dramas and documentaries on mainstream tv, we see fundraising advertisements of patients receiving treatment. I think accepting the truth of dementia is still a long way from this but we have to start being honest about it as distressing to some that may be. I'm sorry if I sound harsh, that is not my intention. I just feel really despondent when I read the comments on this wonderful, supportive forum and realise that nothing has changed since I was in my caring role more than 10 years ago.

 

[Jaded'n'faded]

It's a huge dilemma. I posted on someone's thread the other day: 'dementia is terminal. It gets worse and worse and then you die.' It's a truth we all know yet I felt terrible writing it for fear of causing upset.

But I don't think a lot of people realise it is both progressive and terminal. The AS have been promoting this 'living well with dementia' slogan for so long now that I think people see dementia as something like having a bad back - yes, it's annoying and inconvenient but you just accept it, live with it and otherwise get on with your life.

No. Dementia kills you. That's why it says 'dementia' on my mother's death certificate. No one survives dementia, no one recovers from it. Ever.

So on balance, I'd say telling the truth is preferable.

 

[jennifer1967]

it would be a good start if it was treated as compassionately as cancer. the problem is that cancer doesnt necessarily kill but dementia does which is the difference which gives people hope and a possibility of going on to live a good life. with dementia, especially those that there are no tablets to slow it down or more manageable, there is no hope. it would be a start if people get out of this idea that the people gets put away into a home. its not an asylum that you put them away never to be seen or heard from again. its more of a care facility that helps them to live in a safe and secure setting while still involving and maintaining family bonds[before covid i know]. im just thinking aloud. carehomes should be part of the community and not set aside as those places. it was nice when children were sending pictures into carehomes and thats where you need to start to open carehomes, get young and old, the whole community involved. obviously being idealistic but need to start someone, when children and animals go into carehomes, the residents come alive and smile.

 

[Frank24]

I agree with much of what has been said here. My brother on hearing the diagnosis of Alzheimers said "Phew at least its not the Big C"
There is a stigma attached to anything that involves mental illness. I think people should be educated about the reality of the disease
Having said that, I wouldn't have wanted to watch this advert with my Mum either.

 

[Duggies-girl]

I haven't seen it yet but dad had dementia and cancer which were both terminal. He had some palliative treatment for the cancer but we knew the dementia would just get worse and he would die anyway. It's very sad but dad never knew he had either disease. He forgot immediately but he knew that his sister had had dementia and he didn't ever want to end up like her.