Catastrophe

[MaNaAk]

Dad had a few falls this week and complained about his back . Yesterday I made an appointment to see the GP and today Saturday dad had another fall and after dialling 111 an ambulance is ordered. We are still waiting for it but I feel awful because he woke me up at 5.25 am asking if I was alright. He went back to his room and I tried to sleep but whilst I could hear noises, one of which could have been him falling I did not realise that he had fallen until I got up at 7.00 am. He kept saying that he didn't want a doctor and apart from his back he was alright. He managed breakfast on the floor but it was when he tried to get to the toilet that I realised I should get a doctor.

I feelguilty because I should have called 111 sooner and of course my brother when he arrived he said that if I can't look after dad then he should be in a care home or I need more care for him.

MaNaAk

 

[jugglingmum]

Falls can happen in a care home, or with a waking carer, don't beat yourself up, your brother is wrong.

Hope all goes ok at hospital

 

[karaokePete]

I agree with jugglingmum.
Does this brother help you with the carers role? If not perhaps you could ask him what he is willing to do to actually physically help you with the caring.

 

[Amy in the US]

Falls happen in care homes, nursing homes, hospitals, the grocery store, and at home.

My grandmother fell with her carer two feet away in the room with her-it happened so fast it couldn't be prevented.

My mother fell in hospital with my husband three feet away-he turned his back for one minute and she climbed over the rail and fell out of bed.

It happens. Don't berate yourself, and don't let your brother do it either. Best wishes.

 

[stanleypj]

I agree with others. Falls can happen at almost any time. It's not your fault. You did the right thing in calling 111. Your brother is very foolish if he blames you in any way.

 

[Tin]

No one can predict when a fall can happen. Your brother is very, very silly, does he expect you to stay up all night in your father's room. My mum has fallen a few times in her bedroom and she calls out for me and sometimes I have wondered if I should go in or not because there are times when she is calling my name in her sleep. Your brother needs a good talking to!!!

 

[MaNaAk]

Thankyou everyone!

The paramedics came and got dad on his feet. We are being referred to the falls clinic and my brother who kept an eye out for the ambulance asked me if it was normal for Dad to ask about the house. I replied that it was but I will be adjusting his care to suit him. I must admit I did fall apart but I think to myself we are nearly two years into this and I will try and see it to the end!

MaNaAk

 

[MaNaAk]

Thankyou everyone!

The paramedics came and got dad on his feet. We are being referred to the falls clinic and my brother who kept an eye out for the ambulance asked me if it was normal for Dad to ask about the house. I replied that it was but I will be adjusting his care to suit him. I must admit I did fall apart but I think to myself we are nearly two years into this and I will try and see it to the end!

MaNaAk

Forgot to say Dad's at home

 

[Izzy]

I'm a bit late here but just wanted to agree with the others about you not feeling guilty. You must have got a shock. I hope you're both ok now.

 

[MaNaAk]

I also forgot to say that there was sometime between me calling 111 and dad falling but he kept trying to get up and didn't want a doctor and certainly not an ambulance. Also he was able to get up the last three times and this is why I feel awful!

MaNaAk

 

[MaNaAk]

No one can predict when a fall can happen. Your brother is very, very silly, does he expect you to stay up all night in your father's room. My mum has fallen a few times in her bedroom and she calls out for me and sometimes I have wondered if I should go in or not because there are times when she is calling my name in her sleep. Your brother needs a good talking to!!!

I didn't go when I think he fell because when he woke me up at 5.25 pm it was to ask if I was alright and the thud that could have been a fall was quite soft as if a car was going past.

 

[Tin]

I didn't go when I think he fell because when he woke me up at 5.25 pm it was to ask if I was alright and the thud that could have been a fall was quite soft as if a car was going past.

My mum is always asking me if I am alright?!

We assume that a fall will make a noisy bang, but it rarely does. My mum's falls are due in part to her bending down to pick something up and then slowly the rest of her body goes down that she ends up sitting on the floor and cannot get up.

 

[Moggymad]

I didn't go when I think he fell because when he woke me up at 5.25 pm it was to ask if I was alright and the thud that could have been a fall was quite soft as if a car was going past.

@MaNaAk please try not to blame yourself your brothers comments don't help either. You are doing a perfectly good job looking after your dad so don't doubt yourself however some help from family on a regular basis to share the load wouldn't go amiss. I remember a time when I rang my mum & got no reply. I used to ring her every evening to check she was ok. Now & again she didn't answer the phone & I would end up driving the 6 miles to check on her only to find she had gone to bed very early & was ok. This one occasion I thought she's most likely gone to bed early, I was cooking our dinner, had jobs to do after so thought I'll ring in the morning. You've guessed it, it was the one time I didn't go that she'd had a fall! You cannot be on alert 24 hours a day.

 

[Prudence9]

Agree with everyone, you are doing your best, please ignore your brother xx

Similar thing happened to
Mum a couple of years ago, she fell in the early hours and it was two hours before I found her - I was asleep in the bedroom next to her - massive guilt!

Falls can't be helped sometimes, try to kick the memory (and the guilt), to the back of your mind and give your Dad a hug.

 

[MaNaAk]

Latest update!

The carer arrived at 4.30 and said are you sure he doesn't have a UTI. Therefore I rang 111 again and a doctor is coming out! If you are thinking of getting a carer get one they are miracle workers and angels. Also we family carers are being our own anegls and miracle workers!

 

[father ted]

MaNaAk,

My mother fell whilst we were all in the same room watching TV so older people can go over very easily and you can't anticipate it. Falls happen frequently in care homes too, tell that to your brother.
Please don't think you are not doing a good job.

 

[MaNaAk]

Hello everyone!

Thankyou for you replies! A doctor called back and told me to give dad two paracetamol and another doctor told me to give him plenty of high energy drinks. He is of course diabetic so I've given him plenty of drinks and both this evening and last night I gave him water with a bit of fruit juice. He had coffee with sweetener and I have put water with a bit of sugar by his bed. With regard to the paracetamol again I felt a little bit stupid because I could have given him this before but I am wary of giving him more medicine because he takes so much already. Today he was on his feet and although he had one fall he got up twenty minutes after I found him. I was giving a violin lesson and I didn't hear him slip but he kept thanking me. I also keep cuddling him as I have been so pleased to see him on his feet and getting dressed.

MaNaAk

PS: As for my brothers they both said well done and they have learnt a little bit more about the elderly and the care system. I said it's not possible to just put dad in a home and at least one of them said he probably would have done the same thing.

 

[Tin]

Hello everyone!

Thankyou for you replies! A doctor called back and told me to give dad two paracetamol and another doctor told me to give him plenty of high energy drinks. He is of course diabetic so I've given him plenty of drinks and both this evening and last night I gave him water with a bit of fruit juice. He had coffee with sweetener and I have put water with a bit of sugar by his bed. With regard to the paracetamol again I felt a little bit stupid because I could have given him this before but I am wary of giving him more medicine because he takes so much already. Today he was on his feet and although he had one fall he got up twenty minutes after I found him. I was giving a violin lesson and I didn't hear him slip but he kept thanking me. I also keep cuddling him as I have been so pleased to see him on his feet and getting dressed.

MaNaAk

PS: As for my brothers they both said well done and they have learnt a little bit more about the elderly and the care system. I said it's not possible to just put dad in a home and at least one of them said he probably would have done the same thing.

How did they learn? Hope you gave them a good talking to.

 

[Tin]

In an odd way, when my mum does fall she is in some danger from me! I tend to grab her arm tightly to try and stop her from falling and this results in some terrible bruising. A few days ago she was very unsteady and I could see that she was about to fall I just managed to get hold of her hand, but I scratched her knuckles. I have now cut my nails.

 

[MaNaAk]

Hello! I'm just updating everyone.
Monday: I trying to get dad into his pyjamas but he said I want to wear them tomorrow. I said you can't wear pyjamas to the doctors and would you like me and brother to go in our night clothes!
Tuesday: We go to the doctor's and Dad is told to take another bloodtest and urine test. He is also told to go for an x ray on his back. His ears are also blocked up so he has an appointment to get them syringed. We go to the hospital for the x ray.
Wednesday: we go to the hospital for the blood test.
Thursday: 1.45 am Dad falls out of bed and I call the ambulance they diagnose hypertension and he is given a glucose shot. 9.00 am the GP rings up and says that he needs to get to the surgery as soon as possible and that his sodium level is dangerously low. She asks me whether I have given him his felodopine medicine and I say that I have. She says that she needs to take felodopine off his list of medication and that low sodium could be partly one reason why he is falling and his confusion is worse (don't get your hopes up!). We arrive at the hospital and Dad has numerous tests (by the way I forgot to say that his x ray shows up a deep wedge fracture in his back) he has another blood test, chest x ray ( I was told that his heart muscles are weak) and he has a water drug injected into him. He is told that he has to stay in for monitoring and I am unable to leave the hospital until he is a sleep in bed because he threatened to walk out any other patient who is not familiar with sundowning or agitation now knows all about it.
Friday: I receive a call from the hospital saying that they have brought dad's sodium levels up but that they do not know what he has taken in because he has no retention! They also ask me what he was like before Alzheimers and I say that he has always been stubborn and because of his deafness we are used to repeating ourselves. They tell me that Dad needs to come back in on Monday for sodium monitoring. I tell my brothers that Dad is being released and they are very pleased with me getting him to the doctor's and they were very concerned about me away from the hospital I had one and a half hour's sleep on Wednesday night/Thursday morning. At 3.30 pm the adult social care section rings up from the hospital and offers me a sitting service and I think 'strange where did they get my number from considering that I am already a carer and I was referred to the hospital' anyway I arrive at hospital to find that Dad has been taken to the day assessment centre to wait for me. This is where the hospital's memory clinic and their branch of the Alzheimers Society is and I am given the impression that they didn't know what to do about his agitation so they put him with the Alzheimers Society where he behaved himself! My brothers tell me that I am brilliant!