As a caregiver I seriously need help. I am from Liverpool.
I got a call from florida social services to say my 94 year old aunt was vulnerable, something she denied from phoncalls from Liverpool to florida. I flew over in September 2023 and she did need help as her apartment was like a squat. She was showing no signs of dementia at that time and she managed to shower herself every day to her credit. She managed to get around by sitting on her walker and pushing herself around with her feet. I saw her walk once with difficulty.
I decided to bring her back to Liverpool to give her some TLC, but it is evident she is in no fit state to go back. She would disagree. She has dual nationality.
Just before Christmas I started to notice changes in her, some I have read are symptoms of dementia.
She is constipated, she has short term memory loss that I was putting down to age. She has seriously high blood pressure and she won't take the extra BP tablet prescribed by the GP. She has hallucinations and she will scream out the name of her dead sister when sleeping. Her demeanor changes after 4pm and she starts cursing and calling me nasty names under her breath. (Wondering if this sundowning) She can only walk 6 metres very very slowly.
What concerns me is that she has stopped sleeping of a night and looks at her alarm clock every 10 minutes. There is no way I can take it off her. If she is not looking at her clock, she is touching her face. If she is not doing those two, she is counting her fingers on her left hand. She may get an hour here and there twice a night. She gets up at 12 pm, gets washed , have breakfast then falls asleep on the sofa.
I started doing some research on her walking. She is very stiff and walks with a walker with a stooped gait. I'm no dr, but I suspect its Parkinsons disease with dementia. I jyst found out Parkinsons is not just tremors. The walking difficulties started around 2010 and her usa dr said it was in her head There is no way on earth I can get a dr in the UK to see her for a prognosis as she thinks there is nothing wrong with her. She prides herself she is on 1 BP tablet when the truth be known there is probably a lot more wrong with her but she thinks she knows better than the doctors.
She wants to go back to florida and I have reached out to a nursing home and they said by florida law they will not take her without a face to face assessment and a medical by their doctors. I cant take that risk of flying her over for them to say no.
I also look after my dad at home who has lung cancer.
If she does have dementia it's only going to get worse. I may sound horrible but as much as I love my aunt I have bitten off more than I can chew and starting to buckle. Selfishly I want to put her into a nursing home now in england, but she would not entertain that. It would be self funded and I think she has enough money to last 3 years, taking her to 98 years old. But what happens when her money runs out?
She was born in Liverpool but has lived the last 75 years in America. She has a NHS number and I'm trying to find out if she has a NI number. I could not afford the payments if her money ran out. I don't know if she would be entitled to funding from Liverpool City council.
Sadly I can see that she is starting to get depressed (I think I am too) but everything I suggest like hobbies, day centres, she says no.
She lies about the wonderful life she left in florida walking here there and everywhere and entertaining neighbours of an evening. I reached out to her neighbour who said she never walk anywhere and certainly did not entertain. It feel like my aunt is trying to guilt trip me when she tells these little lies.
I just do not know where to turn. Sorry this is so long
I got a call from florida social services to say my 94 year old aunt was vulnerable, something she denied from phoncalls from Liverpool to florida. I flew over in September 2023 and she did need help as her apartment was like a squat. She was showing no signs of dementia at that time and she managed to shower herself every day to her credit. She managed to get around by sitting on her walker and pushing herself around with her feet. I saw her walk once with difficulty.
I decided to bring her back to Liverpool to give her some TLC, but it is evident she is in no fit state to go back. She would disagree. She has dual nationality.
Just before Christmas I started to notice changes in her, some I have read are symptoms of dementia.
She is constipated, she has short term memory loss that I was putting down to age. She has seriously high blood pressure and she won't take the extra BP tablet prescribed by the GP. She has hallucinations and she will scream out the name of her dead sister when sleeping. Her demeanor changes after 4pm and she starts cursing and calling me nasty names under her breath. (Wondering if this sundowning) She can only walk 6 metres very very slowly.
What concerns me is that she has stopped sleeping of a night and looks at her alarm clock every 10 minutes. There is no way I can take it off her. If she is not looking at her clock, she is touching her face. If she is not doing those two, she is counting her fingers on her left hand. She may get an hour here and there twice a night. She gets up at 12 pm, gets washed , have breakfast then falls asleep on the sofa.
I started doing some research on her walking. She is very stiff and walks with a walker with a stooped gait. I'm no dr, but I suspect its Parkinsons disease with dementia. I jyst found out Parkinsons is not just tremors. The walking difficulties started around 2010 and her usa dr said it was in her head There is no way on earth I can get a dr in the UK to see her for a prognosis as she thinks there is nothing wrong with her. She prides herself she is on 1 BP tablet when the truth be known there is probably a lot more wrong with her but she thinks she knows better than the doctors.
She wants to go back to florida and I have reached out to a nursing home and they said by florida law they will not take her without a face to face assessment and a medical by their doctors. I cant take that risk of flying her over for them to say no.
I also look after my dad at home who has lung cancer.
If she does have dementia it's only going to get worse. I may sound horrible but as much as I love my aunt I have bitten off more than I can chew and starting to buckle. Selfishly I want to put her into a nursing home now in england, but she would not entertain that. It would be self funded and I think she has enough money to last 3 years, taking her to 98 years old. But what happens when her money runs out?
She was born in Liverpool but has lived the last 75 years in America. She has a NHS number and I'm trying to find out if she has a NI number. I could not afford the payments if her money ran out. I don't know if she would be entitled to funding from Liverpool City council.
Sadly I can see that she is starting to get depressed (I think I am too) but everything I suggest like hobbies, day centres, she says no.
She lies about the wonderful life she left in florida walking here there and everywhere and entertaining neighbours of an evening. I reached out to her neighbour who said she never walk anywhere and certainly did not entertain. It feel like my aunt is trying to guilt trip me when she tells these little lies.
I just do not know where to turn. Sorry this is so long
