The worry of also having dementia

[nic001]

So there are times, more recently when I wonder if I too have dementia or whether I will have it. Mum has vasecular dementia and Alzheimer’s, her older sister also had dementia. I can be forgetful, struggle to get things clear on my mind and while that could be anything - stress, perimenopause etc I often wonder is this how it starts?
I look at my mum in her care home and those clients around her and think, oh god please don’t let this be me 😔

 

[canary]

I think we all worry about this @nic001 . At least, I know that I do. I do exactly the same as you, but I think its probably just stress
xx

 

[StressedDaughter]

So there are times, more recently when I wonder if I too have dementia or whether I will have it. Mum has vasecular dementia and Alzheimer’s, her older sister also had dementia. I can be forgetful, struggle to get things clear on my mind and while that could be anything - stress, perimenopause etc I often wonder is this how it starts?
I look at my mum in her care home and those clients around her and think, oh god please don’t let this be me 😔

Me too. I am sure most carers feel that way - I am hoping for a quick death - although hopefully not for many years to come!

 

[Cardinal]

I also worry about this. When I forget something I think about the previous day and see if I can remember what I had to eat each meal and what I did that day. I figure since my husband can only remember things for a few minutes if I can remember things from the previous day I’m doing ok.

 

[Fennysnake]

Oh absolutely! I every time I can't find my keys, come out with the wrong words or loose a piece of paper I was holding literally seconds ago, I think back to the start of my mum's decline and wonder if it's happening to me too. I think it's inevitable, and a useful reminder to enjoy the moment while it lasts. After all, none of us knows what the future will bring, whether it's dementia or being knocked down by a bus ....

 

[maggie6445]

I also worry about this. When I forget something I think about the previous day and see if I can remember what I had to eat each meal and what I did that day. I figure since my husband can only remember things for a few minutes if I can remember things from the previous day I’m doing ok.

Snap! I'm constantly testing myself if I'm having a forgetful day🙂 I think the stress of living two lives and being sleep deprived doesn't help the memory . Just hope it's temporary x

 

[Violet Jane]

I'm convinced that I'm going to get dementia as both my mother and my maternal grandmother had it. I don't assume that I will live healthily beyond my mid-seventies (my father died at 74). My approach is to enjoy my life now. I want my husband to stop work when he is 65.

 

[LewyDementiaCarer]

Although it's possible you are likely just tired and stressed out. Stress can literally shut the brain down as a protective response, and lack of sleep similarly. My advice is try doing ONLY one task at a time, in a very conscious way, as much as possible, and don't allow yourself to get distracted by other things. If it helps, keep a notebook in your pocket & just make a quick note if you feel the urge to do something else in that moment, so you can come back to it after. It sounds silly, but it helps prevent overload, when you have a constant stream of things that are ever-changing and need relatively quick action, as with this kind of care.

 

[Jaded'n'faded]

I'm convinced that I'm going to get dementia as both my mother and my maternal grandmother had it. I don't assume that I will live healthily beyond my mid-seventies (my father died at 74). My approach is to enjoy my life now. I want my husband to stop work when he is 65.

I'm exactly the same (mum, her mum and several other suspicious family members!) and know others who are 'expecting it' too.

One of the decisions I made after the trauma of my mum was to try to be happy every day for as long as I've got. I'm 2 years off my pension but I'm working far less now (I'm self employed) because in the end, it won't matter.

More important now is to be with people I care about. Or even just sit on my backside, play with my cats and watch rubbish TV if I feel like it!

Another decision is that if I make it to 80 (unlikely) I'm gonna give up sensible food and eat as much cake as I want. Because, you know, it's very important to have something to look forward to.
😁

 

[nic001]

Thank you all for replying, it’s such a comfort to talk on here xx

 

[Suzysheep01]

I worry about it all the time. My Nan had it, my mum has it and her 2 sisters have it also. I often blame the menopause for my forgetfulness… but deep down I worry.

 

[sdmhred]

My mum and Granny both presented very similarly with VD - we assume that was Granny had.

I take comfort that I am more like my Dad and he was sharp until the end.

Mum also had high BP which I don’t have.

But I do worry my sister who is like mum will get it and I won’t be able to cope with caring second time round.

As to if I ever need social care myself …as the system will no doubt remain chaotic - that is my frightening self thought that I put to the back of my head

 

[Yankeeabroad]

Another decision is that if I make it to 80 (unlikely) I'm gonna give up sensible food and eat as much cake as I want. Because, you know, it's very important to have something to look forward to.
😁

😂😂 Like my grandma who took up smoking again sometime in her 80’s.

and I used to worry about getting dementia all the time — thanks all for not making me feel so alone.

 

[Toopie28]

Yes!!! All the time. I forget my words. It's scary.

I remember reading a long time ago - people always misplace their keys. Like the car keys. The difference is - when you find them, IF you don't remember what they are for, then there is the worry.

Ironically, that's how I realised Ma had declined.

I also... label my drawers and make a list of what's where - I dunno if that's bad or good.

 

[Toopie28]

Another decision is that if I make it to 80 (unlikely) I'm gonna give up sensible food and eat as much cake as I want. Because, you know, it's very important to have something to look forward to.
😁

Oooo, me too! Me too!!!!
Except if I make it to 60. 8 years to go. If I survive Ma 🙈
I'm not allowed to eat that anymore and I know when I do, I'll prob have another heart attack. So bring on 60 - I'm eating CAKE!

 

[Lovegardening*]

So there are times, more recently when I wonder if I too have dementia or whether I will have it. Mum has vasecular dementia and Alzheimer’s, her older sister also had dementia. I can be forgetful, struggle to get things clear on my mind and while that could be anything - stress, perimenopause etc I often wonder is this how it starts?
I look at my mum in her care home and those clients around her and think, oh god please don’t let

 

[Lovegardening*]

I know this is a relatively old post and I hope you are less stressed and worried now. However, I totally understand how you feel. My sister is 66 and has recently been diagnosed with alzeihmers... I feel so sad, intermittently, it is like grief has struck me down. But then I'm ok again for a while. I'm a few years younger than my sister and whenever I forget something or can't find the right word for something I immediately think I'm also going to get dementia. I think is it hereditary? Then I feel guilty for thinking this because it's my sister who has been diagnosed. We were best friends and now I feel so alone. You take care.

 

[nic001]

I know this is a relatively old post and I hope you are less stressed and worried now. However, I totally understand how you feel. My sister is 66 and has recently been diagnosed with alzeihmers... I feel so sad, intermittently, it is like grief has struck me down. But then I'm ok again for a while. I'm a few years younger than my sister and whenever I forget something or can't find the right word for something I immediately think I'm also going to get dementia. I think is it hereditary? Then I feel guilty for thinking this because it's my sister who has been diagnosed. We were best friends and now I feel so alone. You take care.

Thank you for your reply. I do feel less worried now, thanks to your and others’ posts on here. It seems quite normal to have these feelings. It’s a learning curve for us all I guess and there’s so much understanding on this forum, it does help with those feelings of being alone, we may feel alone in our day to day lives but on here we’re all very much together x