My name is Sandy and my lovely mum was diagnosed with A Typical Alzheimer’s nearly two years ago. I now realise that this explains a number of bizarre things she she said and did for a few years before her diagnosis.
Mum lived a couple of hours away from us on her own (I am an only child) and in her late 80’s her local support network was quickly diminishing with her surviving friends having their own health issues. She had always said she never wanted to move from her home of 50 years, so when (following a series of ‘dramas’ and multiple anxious phone calls) I suggested moving to a retirement home near us, I was surprised she agreed without hesitation. Fortunately, she recognised she needed more support and she really wanted to be near me.
She is now really happy in her new home where she has been for a year, has new friends and is currently coping with a lot of support from us. Interestingly, whilst the Alzheimer’s part over the last year has been challenging, and we acknowledge those challenges will become more difficult, my husband and I were not prepared for how difficult everything else would be.
Although I have LPA, I have had difficulties dealing with most companies including banks, utilities companies and retailers. When I eventually get through, most ask me to put mum on the phone despite me explaining her Alzheimer’s causes language difficulties and she finds it difficult to speak on the phone. If I put her on the phone, invariably I just tell her to say yes, and she doesn’t understand what she is agreeing to. Despite emailing her energy company LPA three times, they still refused to deal with me until I put in a formal complaint. I have lost count of the number of formal complaints I have put into various companies, but learned it was the best way to go when they were being obstructive. As a result, mum has received a number of good will payments for the inconvenience she has had 😂 Every company seems to have a different view of what data protection is including a few who haven’t asked for LPA or permission from my mum to speak with me on her behalf.
Mum lives in a different town 15 minutes drive from us, so has a different GP to me. Getting access to basic healthcare is stressful and time consuming, and this also adds to mum’s anxiety when I can’t get her the appointments and care she needs. We have spent many hours in the local urgent care unit to get treatment for things that could be sorted by a GP or practice nurse. On a positive note she did finally get access to an amazing physiotherapist and occupational therapist.
I found the above issues which I have barely touched upon, together with the stress of her house sale which took a year as it fell through three times and she was running out of rent money for her new home was overwhelming. It impacted my own health issues and also had a massive effect on my OH. I forgot to do things for myself like sort out my medication, I missed some of my own appointments and started dropping the ball in my own life.
Things have calmed down now as the house is sold, and banks, utilities etc. are sorted. Healthcare is, and will continue to be challenging. However, somehow I have managed to get to a place where I don’t spend every moment worrying about mum, or thinking if there is something I need to be sorting out for her. I have learned to choose my battles and this forum has made me realise I am not alone. I know the worst is to come, but for now I am appreciating what I have left of my mum.
Mum lived a couple of hours away from us on her own (I am an only child) and in her late 80’s her local support network was quickly diminishing with her surviving friends having their own health issues. She had always said she never wanted to move from her home of 50 years, so when (following a series of ‘dramas’ and multiple anxious phone calls) I suggested moving to a retirement home near us, I was surprised she agreed without hesitation. Fortunately, she recognised she needed more support and she really wanted to be near me.
She is now really happy in her new home where she has been for a year, has new friends and is currently coping with a lot of support from us. Interestingly, whilst the Alzheimer’s part over the last year has been challenging, and we acknowledge those challenges will become more difficult, my husband and I were not prepared for how difficult everything else would be.
Although I have LPA, I have had difficulties dealing with most companies including banks, utilities companies and retailers. When I eventually get through, most ask me to put mum on the phone despite me explaining her Alzheimer’s causes language difficulties and she finds it difficult to speak on the phone. If I put her on the phone, invariably I just tell her to say yes, and she doesn’t understand what she is agreeing to. Despite emailing her energy company LPA three times, they still refused to deal with me until I put in a formal complaint. I have lost count of the number of formal complaints I have put into various companies, but learned it was the best way to go when they were being obstructive. As a result, mum has received a number of good will payments for the inconvenience she has had 😂 Every company seems to have a different view of what data protection is including a few who haven’t asked for LPA or permission from my mum to speak with me on her behalf.
Mum lives in a different town 15 minutes drive from us, so has a different GP to me. Getting access to basic healthcare is stressful and time consuming, and this also adds to mum’s anxiety when I can’t get her the appointments and care she needs. We have spent many hours in the local urgent care unit to get treatment for things that could be sorted by a GP or practice nurse. On a positive note she did finally get access to an amazing physiotherapist and occupational therapist.
I found the above issues which I have barely touched upon, together with the stress of her house sale which took a year as it fell through three times and she was running out of rent money for her new home was overwhelming. It impacted my own health issues and also had a massive effect on my OH. I forgot to do things for myself like sort out my medication, I missed some of my own appointments and started dropping the ball in my own life.
Things have calmed down now as the house is sold, and banks, utilities etc. are sorted. Healthcare is, and will continue to be challenging. However, somehow I have managed to get to a place where I don’t spend every moment worrying about mum, or thinking if there is something I need to be sorting out for her. I have learned to choose my battles and this forum has made me realise I am not alone. I know the worst is to come, but for now I am appreciating what I have left of my mum.
