I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed

[Rishile]

When OH was in hospital last year, I was told he was double incontinent. I was given a couple of packs of pull-ups and left to get on with it. Once he was home and settled, things improved. There was still accidents but few and far between and I was managing quite well.

Over the past 2-3 days, thing have escalated to the point where I had to change the bed at 3 am then at 5 am discovered a huge leak all over the bed. I am slightly ashamed to say I sat on the floor and shed a few tears. OH was very upset. He had not accepted that he had any problems and didn't understand what the purpose of the pull-ups are or why he needed them. This morning, no amount of 'love-lies' would have helped. He was totally devastated and it took me an hour to convince him that everything would be OK and that I am still here for him.

I rang the GP this morning for a referral to the incontinence nurse and was told a message had been sent to the GP (who only works two days per week) who would write to me to acknowledge the refferal and let me know how long I would have to wait. I see this taking weeks or months.

I am currently feeling very let down by the system (not the first time) and wondering how they ever help carers. I was told I may have to visit the hospital which means OH will be with me and will probably deny everything. How does the referral usually work and will it help much?

 

[SAP]

Well firstly don’t ever be ashamed of those tears @Rishile , sometimes we just need to cry through frustration or grief and indeed overwhelming circumstances.
I can only speak for my area, firstly we don’t need a GP referral or hospital appt, we can just ring the incontinence clinic. The will check with the GP for diagnosis of a condition likely to cause incontinence but this does not take long. The thing it brings is a prescription for so many pads a week. Maybe some information on how to manage the situation . So not a massive amount of help really other than having pads delivered. Also they are not always the best kind but better than nothing and sometimes they may have some choice. Like so many other things it is a postcode lottery.

 

[Rishile]

Well firstly don’t ever be ashamed of those tears @Rishile , sometimes we just need to cry through frustration or grief and indeed overwhelming circumstances.
I can only speak for my area, firstly we don’t need a GP referral or hospital appt, we can just ring the incontinence clinic. The will check with the GP for diagnosis of a condition likely to cause incontinence but this does not take long. The thing it brings is a prescription for so many pads a week. Maybe some information on how to manage the situation . So not a massive amount of help really other than having pads delivered. Also they are not always the best kind but better than nothing and sometimes they may have some choice. Like so many other things it is a postcode lottery.

Thank you @SAP it sounds like a different world to my area. The receptionist didn't seem to know what an incontinence nurse is. It seems as if, yet again, we are pretty much left alone to cope on our own.

 

[Violet Jane]

Yes, in many areas you can self-refer. You will be provided with pads or pull-ups for free and they will be delivered every three months. I think that you have to buy your own bed pads and Kylie sheets though.

As this is a sudden new development it might be worth checking that your OH doesn't have an infection. You might want to reduce the amount he drinks later in the day, get him to go to the toilet twice shortly before bedtime and switch to de-caffeinated drinks. If he has fluid round his legs and ankles try to encourage him to lie down during the day as this will encourage the fluid to return to the kidneys and leave the body as urine during the day rather than at night. There is also medication which can reduce urine output at night but this might not be appropriate.

 

[canary]

It may be known as the bladder and bowel clinic in your area @Rishile (it is in my area). Meanwhile, get yourself organised with a waterproof mattress cover (or two) and three Kylie double sheets - these are pads that can absorb a huge amount of liquid and are washable and re-usable. Also, while you are waiting for the clinic, get him some pull-ups from a supermarket. Im told that Aldis ones are good, but I dont have any experience of them

Even if it does turn out to be a UTI, having these things in readiness is never a bad idea. The time will come when incontinence arrives, even with no infection

 

[Rishile]

Well I take it all back. I had a phone call this afternoon offering an appointment for Monday morning. The next available is in August. I have to admit, I was impressed

This isn't really a sudden development. As I mentioned, there have been a few incidents but today just seemed to affect me because I was tired. He has been wearing pull-ups since he came out of hospital 'just in case' and I have tried a couple of times without them when we are at home without success.

I am also wondering if his recent prostrate problem is making it worse. I will have my questions ready for Monday.

 

[canary]

I had a phone call this afternoon offering an appointment for Monday morning.

👍👍👍

 

[jennifer1967]

My husbandcwas wetting himself on the way home from the shed, I got him so shields for the front of his pants
Only used 1 as he now makes sure he goes before he leaves. It trained his mind to be aware he can't wait

 

[maggie6445]

Hi @Rishile , my oh is now double incontinent, has been for two weeks now.
We have incontinence pull-ups from the incontinence service.

I recently needed additional pull ups as the bowel accidents are happening two or three times a day. Bought from Morrisons and home bargains and frankly , they are not good!

I used to use Aldi which were the same design and quality as Tena but they are not available at the moment in our area and I wonder if they are changing supplier. I hope not as I have a concern that they may be going to use the cheaper design that Morrisons are using.

The incontinence service supply Tena plus classic for daytime 6/8 drops and Tena super 7/8 drops for night. Generally the night one just about works although we go get occasional leaks. Apparently there is a maxi that us better and I'm going to try and get those.

I have an appointment on Tuesday with my OH incontinence nurse for additional supplies hopefully .

 

[Rishile]

Hi @Rishile , my oh is now double incontinent, has been for two weeks now.
We have incontinence pull-ups from the incontinence service.

I recently needed additional pull ups as the bowel accidents are happening two or three times a day. Bought from Morrisons and home bargains and frankly , they are not good!

I used to use Aldi which were the same design and quality as Tena but they are not available at the moment in our area and I wonder if they are changing supplier. I hope not as I have a concern that they may be going to use the cheaper design that Morrisons are using.

The incontinence service supply Tena plus classic for daytime 6/8 drops and Tena super 7/8 drops for night. Generally the night one just about works although we go get occasional leaks. Apparently there is a maxi that us better and I'm going to try and get those.

I have an appointment on Tuesday with my OH incontinence nurse for additional supplies hopefully .

I have been using the Sainsbury's pull-ups which are probably a bit more expensive but OH says they are comfortable and seem really good. This morning was the first leak but was very full. We rarely have drinks after about 5pm and that would be decaff tea if anything. There were also two toilet trips in the night so I'm not sure where it all came from.

 

[Alisongs]

It may be known as the bladder and bowel clinic in your area @Rishile (it is in my area). Meanwhile, get yourself organised with a waterproof mattress cover (or two) and three Kylie double sheets - these are pads that can absorb a huge amount of liquid and are washable and re-usable. Also, while you are waiting for the clinic, get him some pull-ups from a supermarket. Im told that Aldis ones are good, but I dont have any experience of them

Even if it does turn out to be a UTI, having these things in readiness is never a bad idea. The time will come when incontinence arrives, even with no infection

I very much agree with Canary's advice. Cheap, quick, less obvious and easily available solutions are giant dustbin liners on the mattress or mattress cover, puppy pad or pads under the top sheet (much cheaper than, but much the same as the human equivalent). Fluffy hand towel towel on top of the bed sheet, or a bigger towel can be tucked in at the side. Cosy, comfortable and absorbent, easier to wash than bedding. A small daily glass of cranberry juice, even diluted, may help in avoiding or mitigating bladder infections.