Do we know what our dementia loved ones are thinking?

[maggie6445]

David Joseph said,
The problem is that what a dementia person is thinking is nearly impossible to tell, for several reasons. In the earlier stages it is obvious sometimes to find that the individual is having some mild difficulties in word-finding and expressing themselves intelligibly and without mistakes AND it is less obvious that the person is having difficulties in understanding what exactly is being said. At the moment, both of these symptoms have caused me difficulties, though sometimes this is intermittent, it comes and goes, and sometimes worsens. If my wife asks me to do something simple, I find it hard to comply correctly because I don’t understand what she is saying. She thinks I am hard of hearing but I know I am not. She has to point out what she means, where a certain object is, and what she wants me to do, but it’s like listening hard to something garbled and confusing. I want to help her physically, like lifting and moving items, which I can do, but frequently get it wrong by not knowing what her words mean. This is not selective, intentional or deliberate!!!
Unfortunately, expressive and receptive dysphasia can and often do worsen, sometimes unevenly, sometimes with good days and bad days and unpredictably.
Very sad.
David Joseph

Thank you for your input. It took me a while to realise that my OH just couldn't process what I was asking of him ,especially in the early days when he wanted to help ,and he had been a practical person.
It was frustrating for both of us when he offered to help and then I had to tell him exactly how to. ,but to save frustration for both of us I tried not to ask for help in the end.
I never thought he was doing it deliberately or being selective about it

You're right,it is very sad.

 

[David Joseph]

Hi Maggie6445
Yes, sad for me, and frustrating for OH and me. Afterwards it makes me cry. The tears come pouring out, and then I try hard to pull myself together. And then I try to pull myself together for the sake of my wife. I don’t know how I get through 45 minutes with our support worker! And this is 10 months since being diagnosed with mild. Alzheimer’s!!!
Any suggestions welcome.
David Joseph

 

[Angel55]

David Joseph said,
The problem is that what a dementia person is thinking is nearly impossible to tell, for several reasons. In the earlier stages it is obvious sometimes to find that the individual is having some mild difficulties in word-finding and expressing themselves intelligibly and without mistakes AND it is less obvious that the person is having difficulties in understanding what exactly is being said. At the moment, both of these symptoms have caused me difficulties, though sometimes this is intermittent, it comes and goes, and sometimes worsens. If my wife asks me to do something simple, I find it hard to comply correctly because I don’t understand what she is saying. She thinks I am hard of hearing but I know I am not. She has to point out what she means, where a certain object is, and what she wants me to do, but it’s like listening hard to something garbled and confusing. I want to help her physically, like lifting and moving items, which I can do, but frequently get it wrong by not knowing what her words mean. This is not selective, intentional or deliberate!!!
Unfortunately, expressive and receptive dysphasia can and often do worsen, sometimes unevenly, sometimes with good days and bad days and unpredictably.
Very sad.
David Joseph

Hello David Joseph

Thank you for sharing your own experience.

I notice with Dad and I have thought before I wonder if I need to change my words to make it easier and I do or point things out, or a word we have always used and I have to exchange it for another word instead. 💗 thank you x

 

[maggie6445]

Hi David Joseph. I found giving one instruction or task at a time helped in the early stage. I tried not to say do this and do that. I didn't want him to lose the skills he still had so I would try to plan doing some jobs when I had time to wait for him to do them.
He was keen at woodworking for a hobby and had made furniture for our home, fitted the kitchen and made dolls cots for charity. As he lost measuring skills and became unsafe with cutting equipment I bought pre packed items for the garden eg planters to assemble. That worked for a season but he was unable to do that the following year. I would ask him to sweep and I would shovel the sweepings up. .
When he became unable to plant bought plants into tubs I gave him the job of watering them when I'd done it.
Sadly he is unable to do anything much at all now as he doesn't understand a lot of instructions. He has lost language skills where he can find it difficult to process words like up,down, turn around . arms in etc That is another source of frustration for both of us . It's about trying to adapt, and just as we master one problem we are presented with another.

Life now tends to be a series of commands. So .. foot up, with the accompanying tap of the foot and hand gesture up.
But I try .