As another member poignantly posted on this thread, the pwd no longer recognising us is so hard.
Being a long distance carer visiting for months at a time for my mom in the States, I often get casual questions from friends and acquaintances. The most common is
Does she still recognise you?
I hate this question and resent the person for asking it. It’s painful to think about and complicated to answer meaningfully.
If someone’s loved one has definitely permanently stopped recognising them, then it can only be a painful reminder.
In a lot of cases, it’s probably highly variable depending on the day or moment.
Whatever the situation, the question doesn’t capture the subtlety of the care relationship. You are privileged to share someone’s life and can have deep moments of connection with them, that shouldn’t be judged on whether they technically recognise you. There are so many times of real togetherness, during which I have no way of knowing whether mom recognises me, but that doesn’t diminish the specialness of that moment.
I know people are well meaning and maybe don’t know what to say, but I just wish they wouldn’t ask this In such an off the cuff way.
Being a long distance carer visiting for months at a time for my mom in the States, I often get casual questions from friends and acquaintances. The most common is
Does she still recognise you?
I hate this question and resent the person for asking it. It’s painful to think about and complicated to answer meaningfully.
If someone’s loved one has definitely permanently stopped recognising them, then it can only be a painful reminder.
In a lot of cases, it’s probably highly variable depending on the day or moment.
Whatever the situation, the question doesn’t capture the subtlety of the care relationship. You are privileged to share someone’s life and can have deep moments of connection with them, that shouldn’t be judged on whether they technically recognise you. There are so many times of real togetherness, during which I have no way of knowing whether mom recognises me, but that doesn’t diminish the specialness of that moment.
I know people are well meaning and maybe don’t know what to say, but I just wish they wouldn’t ask this In such an off the cuff way.