Your tips: supporting someone with dementia and yourself at Christmas

[HarrietD]

Do you have any tips to share on not only supporting a person with dementia, but also yourself over the Christmas period?

This might include anything from making a family photo album or memory box together, putting decorations up gradually over a few days so that it's not overwhelming, having a quiet room the person you're caring for can escape to if it becomes too noisy, or playing a classic Christmas song or film that they used to enjoy.

For yourself, it might be things like going for a walk outside, trying to get enough sleep, or taking the time to sit down to have a cup of tea and read something.

Share your experiences

Our Digital team are writing a blog with tips for carers on supporting a person with dementia and themselves over the festive period, and would love to hear from you.

Please feel free to share any advice below, and your comments may be featured on our Alzheimer's Society blog.

Thanks

 

[nae sporran]

Two years ago it rained the whole time from October to January. OH was sleepy on xmas day and tv was awful. Of course, the rain meant we were indoors way too much and it was all hard work.
Somewhere around the 5th or 6th of January the sun came out and I grabbed my camera and headed to Tyntesfield. We both headed off into the Mendips for coffee and cake the following day. Chew Valley lake was half frozen and standing by road taking photos was the coldest I'd been for a while. Both days were so good I framed one of the photos.
This year I put the tree up on the first of December to brighten the place up and it made C so happy, she especially likes the old wreath she has had for years even if she doesn't recognise it.

 

[HarrietD]

Thanks nae sporran - sounds like a lovely memory from two years ago, and a good idea to put the tree up early to brighten things up

If anyone else has anything they'd like to add, please feel free to reply to this thread.

 

[Soobee]

WIth Christmas cards, my mum still wanted to send them out, so I got her to write her name on a piece of paper, and dad wrote his separately. I then scanned, resized and copied them and printed them out onto computer labels. Mum helped me to stick in a few of the labels so she felt involved, and I wrote the recipients name in at the top and did the envelopes. We did about 25 cards for her that year and she would never have been able to write her name more than once.

 

[pbsb]

Thanks nae sporran - sounds like a lovely memory from two years ago, and a good idea to put the tree up early to brighten things up

If anyone else has anything they'd like to add, please feel free to reply to this thread.

 

[pbsb]

Can I just ask (hope this is the right place to ask). What exactly is a 'memory box'? What sort of things go in it? Im totally lacking imagination apart from photos, a thimble (mum used to sew a lot), guess I have to give more thought, just lacking the energy

 

[Soobee]

Can I just ask (hope this is the right place to ask). What exactly is a 'memory box'? What sort of things go in it? Im totally lacking imagination apart from photos, a thimble (mum used to sew a lot), guess I have to give more thought, just lacking the energy

What hobbies did your mum have? What did she watch on TV? what did you do as a family? If she worked, what sort of place was it? If she was a homemaker, even things like Brasso can evoke memories, or that red stuff people used to put on their doorsteps. Did she have a favourite outfit?

Going along the line of sewing, you could add to the thimble with an old clothes pattern (ask at a local charity shop as they sometimes have them behind the counter) knitting needles, crochet hooks, zips, buttons....

For TV, as an example, my mum particularly liked watching the wrestling - I could have printed off pictures of the big stars like Mick McManus, Big Daddy and Giant Haystacks. I could have tried to find the theme music for World of Sport on youtube and put that in on a USB stick to play in the background...

My mum loved the bingo and betting - I really should have done her a memory box with her 'dabbers', bingo cards, her winnings book, horse racing 'forms' from the back of a newspaper, betting slips, jockey colours for the grand national...

I hope you can take some inspiration.

 

[pbsb]

What hobbies did your mum have? What did she watch on TV? what did you do as a family? If she worked, what sort of place was it? If she was a homemaker, even things like Brasso can evoke memories, or that red stuff people used to put on their doorsteps. Did she have a favourite outfit?

Going along the line of sewing, you could add to the thimble with an old clothes pattern (ask at a local charity shop as they sometimes have them behind the counter) knitting needles, crochet hooks, zips, buttons....

For TV, as an example, my mum particularly liked watching the wrestling - I could have printed off pictures of the big stars like Mick McManus, Big Daddy and Giant Haystacks. I could have tried to find the theme music for World of Sport on youtube and put that in on a USB stick to play in the background...

My mum loved the bingo and betting - I really should have done her a memory box with her 'dabbers', bingo cards, her winnings book, horse racing 'forms' from the back of a newspaper, betting slips, jockey colours for the grand national...

I hope you can take some inspiration.

 

[pbsb]

Thank you so much really helpful to know someone else giving some thought to this. !!!
Im gonna start collecting bits and prices as I think of them.

 

[Soobee]

you're very welcome. Did your mum have a special tin she put buttons in (mine did)? Did she have a pin holder (mine did). Just to be able to hold these sorts of items in your hands is so evocative. Different fabric samples, e.g. silk, velvet, terry towelling, perhaps a swatch of a 50s or early 60s curtain/furnishing fabric design.

What crockery did she use - do you have any old photos with plates on it? Again, mine had Hornsea and then Eternal Beau, so we could have picked up a cup and saucer from a charity shop or online if we wanted to provoke a memory. I found that some of mum's bowls came from a Kelloggs offer, others from Tupperware or collecting Green Shield stamps.

 

[Pinkys]

Main advice, is to have no expectations. See what happens!! The last Christmas my MiL spent with us, she came down to breakfast on Boxing day all ready packed and dressed in her coat ready to go home! We were surprised....it also took some serious efforts to persuade her to stay at least one more day.

 

[Agzy]

Can I just ask (hope this is the right place to ask). What exactly is a 'memory box'? What sort of things go in it? Im totally lacking imagination apart from photos, a thimble (mum used to sew a lot), guess I have to give more thought, just lacking the energy

A memory box is exactly as it says, a container with items which have particular meanings or feelings with which you can browse through along with PWD talking about them and interacting with each other and the items within. I have created a memory iPad which has nothing but 100s of photographs of friends, family and places and using my computer I have added names, year dates and place names. It has been a long labour of love but has paid off dividends as I update it regularly with new photos of interest to her.