• All threads and posts regarding Coronavirus COVID-19 can be found in our area specifically for Coronavirus COVID-19 discussion.

    You can directly access this area >here<.

Your tips: dealing with changes in the person you're caring for

HarrietD

Administrator
Staff member
Apr 29, 2014
6,381
0
London
Every issue our magazine includes real life experiences, and they'd like to hear from you.

What advice do you have to help someone dealing with how much a person with dementia has changed in the past few months?

This could include:
  • Coping with seeing how much impact the pandemic and lockdown have had on the person
  • Dealing with how much someone's dementia has progressed regardless of the pandemic
Please add your comments below, and they may be featured in the next issue of the magazine.

Thanks everyone :)
 

karaokePete

Registered User
Jul 23, 2017
6,026
0
N Ireland
One thing I found most useful was reading as widely as possible as that has meant that when some new change occurs it hasn't thrown me.

An example of that was the time, about a year ago, when my wife asked "Which Pere are you?" - I immediately thought, oh, the Capgras Delusion, and was able to deal with the situation very calmly.
 

Old Flopsy

Registered User
Sep 12, 2019
204
0
The Capgras Delusion is interesting to read about.

A few weeks ago as I was assisting a very wobbly OH back into the lounge he pointed at my chair and said 'Where's she gone?'
 

PARKLEYS

Registered User
May 12, 2014
2
0
When something goes wrong, (like they can't do something that they used to do easily), they will probably be aware of it and get upset (especially in the earlier stages). You can't say, "It will be alright" or "You'll soon get better": you know and they know that just isn't true - it does matter and they will not get better.
I found the best strategy was to ignore the thing that had gone wrong: do nothing about it, say nothing about it but immediately introduce a distraction: move to a different position or different place, talk about something entirely different, give them a very simple task (which you know they can do).
It's heart-breaking: it all is - but that strategy reduces the stress they feel when things go wrong.
 

HarrietD

Administrator
Staff member
Apr 29, 2014
6,381
0
London
Thanks for sharing this @PARKLEYS - that sounds like a difficult thing to do, but a really good strategy to help reduce their stress as you say.
 

CAREME

Registered User
Mar 9, 2021
11
0
I have found linking a situation back to the Dr (in my situation, my father has very high opinions of her). For example as we are starting to introduce carers to help I have told my father that they are working really close with the Dr to ensure he is safe, and they will need to check things to feedback to the Dr.
 

mickeyplum

Registered User
Feb 22, 2018
160
0
The changes in my 92 year old husband over the past year are probably similar noticed by other carers.
1) mobility has worsened, meaning he is reluctant to leave the house to try and walk more than a few steps outside.
2) losing more sense of where he lives and where 'home' is. He sometimes seems to think we are on holiday and says 'this is'nt a bad place, we get plenty to eat and can come and go when we want'.(I must say it's cheaper than actually going on holiday! )When he says how long are we here for I say, 'We're home now and we're here forever.' He says, 'Good'
3) has lost sense of which family member in the family belongs to who. Doesn't recognise words like daughter, grandson etc. so I try not to use them.
I notice subtle changes almost daily and try and adjust my responses accordingly. Mainly, never contradict him or tell him he's made a mistake. Sometimes he says his memory is terrible and looks worried. In the beginning I used to say it was simply due to changes in his brain that occur as we get older. He can no longer grasp staements like that, so nowadays I just reply, ' Yeah, my memory's the same sometimes.' and change the subject. A moment later he's forgotten about it.
 

Dartist

Registered User
Apr 30, 2017
1
0
SE London
Keep the atmosphere calm and don't contradict try accepting the new version of your loved one.
Don't overload them with facts of old life but try to keep to your routines,. I found that gentle touches meant a lot to my husband - reassurance . The sense of touch seemed to stay with him to the end. I knit and he used to love holding the ball of wool and "sorted it out" I think as a boy he used to help his mum holding the skeins of wool whilst she rolled them into balls to knit with. So its worth trying to reconnect with skills.
 

JustNan

New member
Feb 11, 2020
1
0
When something goes wrong, (like they can't do something that they used to do easily), they will probably be aware of it and get upset (especially in the earlier stages). You can't say, "It will be alright" or "You'll soon get better": you know and they know that just isn't true - it does matter and they will not get better.
I found the best strategy was to ignore the thing that had gone wrong: do nothing about it, say nothing about it but immediately introduce a distraction: move to a different position or different place, talk about something entirely different, give them a very simple task (which you know they can do).
It's heart-breaking: it all is - but that strategy reduces the stress they feel when things go wrong.
Thank you for sharing.