Good morning,
I have just joined and am so pleased and relieved I have found someone / where who will understand whatever I say......
After watching Dad get forgetful and leaving sticky notes everywhere for a couple of years ( he lived far away so there were probably other signs that went unoticed ) we finally persuaded him to move closer, with the promise we would do everything, which we did. So four months ago he arived and the full extent of his lifestle became evident. Taken out of his comfort zone we soon realised that it was habit and routine that had disguised in the past. In the last 4 months he has deteriorated considerbly......memory loss has gone from forgetting what he had for lunch a couple of times a week to not even worth asking anymore
He can't find the correct descriptive word to use, and everything is ' the thing ' followed by a childlike description....rubbish wheelie bin for example is the ' tall thing with a lid and wheels that you put stuff in that you want to throw away '...
His short term memory is non exsistant, easily confused, often seen just staring out vacantly. Sometimes we only have 3 conversations during a long visit, but they are repeated 5, 6 or 7 tims each...is very hard work. I have been lifting him out of the bath ( I have severe Angina and classed as disabled myself ) until it was causing me pain...so we got him a bath lift.....
We bulk cook and freeze one person home cooked meals for him.....but he nearly set the microwave on fire twice...he then complained the ' ham ' was a bit tough......he had eaten raw gammon steak.....we have now arrnged meals on wheels.....we can't be there at 3 meal times a day....this way he is obviously safer both health wise and kitchen wise......he has also started ' stashing ' food....
We did do an EPA, and for that I am so pleased, but this last weekend he seems to have lost the family link. Despite us being with him everyday ( which he can't remember and says he is lonely and gets no visitors ) he knows us, as in putting a name to us ( well two of us anyway - my other children are ' the bin lady ' and the woman who brings the little girl around ' ( granddaughter and great G/D )....but he has lost that we are family somehow....there was a distinct time 3 weeks ago when we all noted seperatly this had happened, he simply became ' distanced ' with us. Should we remind him, he says ' yes dear ofcourse i kno who you are ' but he is different with us.
I have made sure he has had a full medical MOT and 3 weeks ago had the results of his CT scan and immediatly put on Aricept.....
I have Social Services doing an assesment when ever they an get there and have got him Attendance Allowance too......
Now, my dilema ( apart from being exhaustd and feeling isolated ) my head tells me to register the EPA now, my heart says I should wait as long as possible, allowing him his dignity etc for as long as possible. Nearly everyday I see a deterioration of some kind...but because they are all just little bits each time I think ' oh thats not too bad ' .....on the rare occasion I am able to stand back and look at the whole picture..from start to finish...his decline is so swift and his loss of so many things..I know I should.....I guess it's timing....I know I have to do it but when is the right time?
He has already been caught by a con man who relieved him of cash and cheque so I have authority on all accounts anyway.....but the law says ' as soon as I believe is has become or becoming incapable of managing his financial affairs '
If I tell him he needs to sign a cheque for the gas bill....he wants to keep writing them as he forgets he has done it, but the stubs that tell him that don't abate the problem only confuse him.
Oh my word.....how long is this post? sorry.......phew think I have just offloaded...for the first time...and you lucky people got it...lol
Any advice would be greatfully recieved....thank you
I have just joined and am so pleased and relieved I have found someone / where who will understand whatever I say......
After watching Dad get forgetful and leaving sticky notes everywhere for a couple of years ( he lived far away so there were probably other signs that went unoticed ) we finally persuaded him to move closer, with the promise we would do everything, which we did. So four months ago he arived and the full extent of his lifestle became evident. Taken out of his comfort zone we soon realised that it was habit and routine that had disguised in the past. In the last 4 months he has deteriorated considerbly......memory loss has gone from forgetting what he had for lunch a couple of times a week to not even worth asking anymore
He can't find the correct descriptive word to use, and everything is ' the thing ' followed by a childlike description....rubbish wheelie bin for example is the ' tall thing with a lid and wheels that you put stuff in that you want to throw away '...
His short term memory is non exsistant, easily confused, often seen just staring out vacantly. Sometimes we only have 3 conversations during a long visit, but they are repeated 5, 6 or 7 tims each...is very hard work. I have been lifting him out of the bath ( I have severe Angina and classed as disabled myself ) until it was causing me pain...so we got him a bath lift.....
We bulk cook and freeze one person home cooked meals for him.....but he nearly set the microwave on fire twice...he then complained the ' ham ' was a bit tough......he had eaten raw gammon steak.....we have now arrnged meals on wheels.....we can't be there at 3 meal times a day....this way he is obviously safer both health wise and kitchen wise......he has also started ' stashing ' food....
We did do an EPA, and for that I am so pleased, but this last weekend he seems to have lost the family link. Despite us being with him everyday ( which he can't remember and says he is lonely and gets no visitors ) he knows us, as in putting a name to us ( well two of us anyway - my other children are ' the bin lady ' and the woman who brings the little girl around ' ( granddaughter and great G/D )....but he has lost that we are family somehow....there was a distinct time 3 weeks ago when we all noted seperatly this had happened, he simply became ' distanced ' with us. Should we remind him, he says ' yes dear ofcourse i kno who you are ' but he is different with us.
I have made sure he has had a full medical MOT and 3 weeks ago had the results of his CT scan and immediatly put on Aricept.....
I have Social Services doing an assesment when ever they an get there and have got him Attendance Allowance too......
Now, my dilema ( apart from being exhaustd and feeling isolated ) my head tells me to register the EPA now, my heart says I should wait as long as possible, allowing him his dignity etc for as long as possible. Nearly everyday I see a deterioration of some kind...but because they are all just little bits each time I think ' oh thats not too bad ' .....on the rare occasion I am able to stand back and look at the whole picture..from start to finish...his decline is so swift and his loss of so many things..I know I should.....I guess it's timing....I know I have to do it but when is the right time?
He has already been caught by a con man who relieved him of cash and cheque so I have authority on all accounts anyway.....but the law says ' as soon as I believe is has become or becoming incapable of managing his financial affairs '
If I tell him he needs to sign a cheque for the gas bill....he wants to keep writing them as he forgets he has done it, but the stubs that tell him that don't abate the problem only confuse him.
Oh my word.....how long is this post? sorry.......phew think I have just offloaded...for the first time...and you lucky people got it...lol
Any advice would be greatfully recieved....thank you