youngest in nursing home


Registered User
Jul 19, 2005
Thats my hubby in a Nursing home today aged 54 and the youngest by about 9years in it. Its a Dementia Unit. Will see how he settles but he wouldnt sit down today or drink. I've to go in tomorrow to tell them about him , so i've printed off a lot of photo's to take with me. They aren't sure if he is aware its somewhere different, but no aggression so far. Its my first Christmas without him in the house. Feeling low


Registered User
Dec 5, 2007
hi chip,

sorry to hear that your husband has had to go into care - christmas can be such a rubbish time of year because it reminds everyone of "the good times".
I was just thinking about the photos you are going to take in with you and i think thats a really great idea. I'm just finishing a degree in speech therapy and one of the things we learn about are "communication passports" (a jazzy name for a very simple thing) it's basically a book/folder which tracks the persons life with photos and some basic text. I think it can be really useful in a care setting when i fear it is far too easy for the workers there to forget that the people they care for had a whole life beyond where they are now.
My mum isn't in care yet but i'm thinking of putting one together for her this christmas. it's just an idea.

sorry again that you're feeling so low, and that i can't be of more help

best wishes



Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
SW Scotland
Hi chip. I'm not surprised you're feeling low. I'm missing John terribly, and dreading Christmas.

I found with John that it was an advantage, being transferred straight from hospital. He wasn't leaving his own home behind, and it was just another hospital to him.

I wouldn't worry about him being the youngest, if he's anything like John, that won't bother him, so long as he's well cared for.

It's a good idea to take in photos, and anything from his past life. It gives the activities co-ordinator something to work with. If you can get to talk to her, she may suggest other things for you to take in.

I do hope he settles well, and isn't too upset by the move. It will take him a little while to get used to his new surroundings.

All the best,


Registered User
Apr 15, 2007
Hello chip,

I can understand how you are feeling and it's sad that you have to go through this. Where my mum is there are two chaps both early fifties, a few weeks back one of the carers and I were discussing the need for nursing facilities to cater for the young just as they do for the elderly.

The photos are a good idea and the other day one of the residents had a photo album and he had a few others gathered around and was very proud showing everyone his family shots.

Xmas is always a difficult time when family is separated. I hope that your hubby settles well in the N/H and that things become easier for you to adjust too. Take Care Taffy.


Registered User
Jul 19, 2005
Just had the Advise Shop guy on the phone. He says its not looking good for me. Why should we suffer with hardship after caring and when given no choice when SS put our husband's/wife's into care?. Could a lottery be set up to help us. After all the lottery goes to sport arts etc.
All this because caring and fighting the system and a bad Social Services has made me ill.
The Advice Shop is phoning me back. Does it ever stop?


Registered User
Oct 28, 2005
Cambridgeshire UK
youngest in home

Hi Chip,

My husband has been in the nursing home now since March this year and 6 months in hospital before that. He's 57 now. His dementia started coming on when he was around 52. He's not been too bad for a few weeks but has been crying for the last 6 weeks so the psychiatrist is going in and changing drugs around and the manager has said he is deteriorating. He also has rheumatoid arthritis and has had surgery on one hand/wrist in 2005 and it looks now like he will have to have it on the other as he is in a lot of pain. God knows how we'll manage with him having an operation in hospital, I don't know if I would have to go and be with him to care for him as the nurses aren't trained to are they. I have to take him to see the rheumatologist on 31st January on my own and I'm dreading it as he's not been out of the home at all for as long as he's been there. I'm worried a big busy hospital will frighten him.

The youngest person in his home is 42. He's just moved in. I couldn't believe it when they told me. Where we live this is the only home with an early onset unit for miles around so I've been lucky.