I feel I should come and point out a really nasty reality... I f you have any form of life or employment and are a carer for one of your parents... you should read what I have to say...
I had a very sucessful career in the media, working regualry and able to support my two children. I have been divorced for many years.
My mothers illness took a long time for the doctors to diagnose.. waiting for appointments was the reason not the progression. I was advised to become the carer.. recieveing the benefits ..etc (I call this CHEAP LABOUR) we had no offer of any respite care or care in the community.. It was not appropriate.. ??? not sure what that meant. In the meantime I lost most of my career caring for my mother more from love.. but sadly it does not pay bills,.
Things became so bad my mother became lost and was picked up by the police. We were told that she was now too bad to stay at home and were advised to look for a "Care Home"..as she was so bad Care homes refused to take her and eventually we managed to have her "upgraded to Nursing care".. from that date ALL benefits stopped (sorry you have six weeks hwich you are not told about) to get your life, business and home together again.
My Mum and I had shared a home and all the bills.. I am now left with all the bills, no benefits and best of all NO CAREER ANY MORE!!! Because I had savings of £3800 to help my daughter at university I cannot claim any benefits... GREAT is'nt it? Thats the thanks you get... I am now about to have to move from the home I have lived in for 12 years because of the bills and no income.
SO TAKE MY ADVICE...
SADLY YOU CANNOT CHANGE THE PROGRESS OF YOUR LOVED ONES ILLNESS... BUT ARE YOU EXPECTED AS A CARER TO END YOUR LIFE TOO WHEN YOUR LOVED ONE GOES INTO PERMENAT CARE.... that what it seems to me... so sadly the my advice would be to be cold and calculating and leave the caring to Social services and NHS.... and you keep your job!
You are simply looked upon as CHEAP LABOUR.. and the NHS would colapse without your help... unless the govt is prepared to do something I would say to anyone that you must leave the emotional, guilt, love etc behind and see the REALITY of the situation and know what it will be like in 12 months time or whatever that time is when the illness becomes so bad that hospital care is required. You are left on your own any benefits, attendence allowance etc all finish.. YOU ARE SACKED WITH NO REDUNDANCY.
I am sending a copy of this to Mr Tony Blair. Although I know the reply will be the standard issue... "thankyou for your .. etc. etc..." one never knows it may just hit home a few bells... but my advice is to you.. all you carers who love your family.. see the picture as it really is.
This is written with love... and the knowledge of just what is like to see this horrible illness destroy those you love. They die not just once... but twice when your loved one finally has to go into permenant care and then when they eventually have a realease and die.
Maria
I had a very sucessful career in the media, working regualry and able to support my two children. I have been divorced for many years.
My mothers illness took a long time for the doctors to diagnose.. waiting for appointments was the reason not the progression. I was advised to become the carer.. recieveing the benefits ..etc (I call this CHEAP LABOUR) we had no offer of any respite care or care in the community.. It was not appropriate.. ??? not sure what that meant. In the meantime I lost most of my career caring for my mother more from love.. but sadly it does not pay bills,.
Things became so bad my mother became lost and was picked up by the police. We were told that she was now too bad to stay at home and were advised to look for a "Care Home"..as she was so bad Care homes refused to take her and eventually we managed to have her "upgraded to Nursing care".. from that date ALL benefits stopped (sorry you have six weeks hwich you are not told about) to get your life, business and home together again.
My Mum and I had shared a home and all the bills.. I am now left with all the bills, no benefits and best of all NO CAREER ANY MORE!!! Because I had savings of £3800 to help my daughter at university I cannot claim any benefits... GREAT is'nt it? Thats the thanks you get... I am now about to have to move from the home I have lived in for 12 years because of the bills and no income.
SO TAKE MY ADVICE...
SADLY YOU CANNOT CHANGE THE PROGRESS OF YOUR LOVED ONES ILLNESS... BUT ARE YOU EXPECTED AS A CARER TO END YOUR LIFE TOO WHEN YOUR LOVED ONE GOES INTO PERMENAT CARE.... that what it seems to me... so sadly the my advice would be to be cold and calculating and leave the caring to Social services and NHS.... and you keep your job!
You are simply looked upon as CHEAP LABOUR.. and the NHS would colapse without your help... unless the govt is prepared to do something I would say to anyone that you must leave the emotional, guilt, love etc behind and see the REALITY of the situation and know what it will be like in 12 months time or whatever that time is when the illness becomes so bad that hospital care is required. You are left on your own any benefits, attendence allowance etc all finish.. YOU ARE SACKED WITH NO REDUNDANCY.
I am sending a copy of this to Mr Tony Blair. Although I know the reply will be the standard issue... "thankyou for your .. etc. etc..." one never knows it may just hit home a few bells... but my advice is to you.. all you carers who love your family.. see the picture as it really is.
This is written with love... and the knowledge of just what is like to see this horrible illness destroy those you love. They die not just once... but twice when your loved one finally has to go into permenant care and then when they eventually have a realease and die.
Maria