You know what my mother diabetic

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by Margarita, Jan 26, 2008.

  1. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    You know what my mother diabetic getting out of control , her legs are very swollen .

    The nurse tell me to to record a week of her blood sugar level in November 07 then she does not turn up .

    Then she sends me all the wrong pads , so I tell her , then she says I've got it wrong , says she coming around she never turn up, only when I meet her in supermarket tell her that I am going to complain , does she turn up next day saying that, yes they are the wrong one . keep them till your mother needs them .

    Then she says she order new one . 4 or 5 Weeks later still no pads arrive .

    So I email my local PCT make a complain about pads . they send me Email saying they going to look into it , should of added about the diabetic

    My mother needs continuing nursing care , am Going to phone AZ Society how I go about into doing an assessment to get her it , because I am surly am not getting the support I need from the nurses in my area to help me check on it .

    All I am worried about is my mother temper in when she has an assessment as anything to do with her diabetic , bring out anger in her .

    even the AZ day center pick up on it how she sleeping a lot , could it be an urine infection or her diabetic, its like I am going around in a circle as last year they thought it was a urine infection , turn out it was not , even the year before that they thought it was an urine infection, its all down to her diabetic .

    It just always distresses her so much , that I just think so what if its out of control! but then she could go into a coma or have a heart attack , I could not deal with that .

    So leave it to the specialist in a nursing home, its just getting the professional to LISTEN to me , Not having my mother dame Doctor telling me I am not looking after my mother rightly , so making me feel guilty . when I have nothing to feel guilty about !
  2. BeckyJan

    BeckyJan Registered User

    Nov 28, 2005
    You have nothing to feel guilty about.

    Sorry if you Mum is diabetic but I am sure medication will help sort it out. If her ankles are swollen it can be a problem. My husband has this and he takes some tabs. to keep the water down. In his case it is to do with circulation and borderline diabetic.

    Take care. Jan
  3. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    yes my mother take tabs for it also , Just that they are very swollen.

    Got a feeling that tabs are not working for the diabetic any more, as Doctor up her Metformain from 2, 850g to 3, 850g a day . So she going to end up on insulin , which even before AZ she never wanted to go on , so with her,

    confused irrational thinking , they no way that she let me give her insulin, she just not going to see the logic of taking it .

    So I am not up for the
    challenging behavior she going to give me in trying to get her to take it .
  4. Nell

    Nell Registered User

    Aug 9, 2005
    Dear Maggie,
    What an awful time you are having. I have no advice for you but I do feel so sad that you are getting such a "run around" instead of genuine help for your Mum.

    Never, ever, feel guilty about your Mum - you do a fantastic job of caring for her. Anyone who says otherwise is totally wrong!

    Have you started to think about full time care for your Mum? I realise you have kept her at home all this time, but maybe the time is coming when it will be too hard to give her the care she needs at home . . . . ? I don't say this to upset you, only to ask if you are thinking about it at all??

    Thinking of you and sending you good wishes for strength to keep doing a great job for your Mum.
  5. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    I`m sorry Margarita.

    When did your mother have a full diabetic test, including blood and Urine? Dhiren has one every 12 months. If she is due to have one, perhaps her GP could bring it forwards.

    Then you will be able to ask about her swollen ankles, the amount of sleep she needs and her temper.

    Could her temper be due to fear if she isn`t feeling well? Dhiren often shouts at me when he`s frightened.
  6. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    #6 Margarita, Jan 26, 2008
    Last edited: Jan 26, 2008
    That what I am going to say to the doctor , how do you Give someone in advice stages of AZ insulin , when they can't see the logic of taking it .

    They must come across this in dementia nursing home , do they pin them down or what ! is what I like to know ? Or do they give them the dignity to say No , but then how can they when they not thinking with a rational mind.


    In November 07 , when they up her medication to 850 g 3 time a day . Doctor told me to do it again with nurse in Feb .

    Oh yes she very frightened, to the point that she can't see the logic in it .

    ( I really needed to share this thanks )
  7. DeborahBlythe

    DeborahBlythe Registered User

    Dec 1, 2006
    Oh Maggie, I'm so sorry that things are going a bit pear-shaped. I wish I had some answers. Can you ring the AS helpline on Monday and ask for help? The way you cope with your mum is fantastic and really admirable. Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise. I hope your mum's health settles down for the better very soon. Much love
  8. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    Maggie does your mother take Gliclazide as well as Metformin?

    I can see you are very worried in case she has to take insulin. I have been told this too, about Dhiren, but so far he`s still taking the tablets.

    Does your mother allow you to take a blood test?
  9. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    SW Scotland
    Maggie, I'm sorry you're having such a rough time. You have done wonders, to look after your mum for so long. You have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about, and if you feel it is all too much for you, no-one could possibly blame you.

    You have to get your mum to a doctor as soon as possible, and also tell him how badly this is affecting you. You shouldn't have to cope on your own.

    Maggie, they can't force people to take medication in nursing homes. If they refuse, it's put down on their records that they refused. I think they have to notify the GP is they refuse on a regular basis.

    In John's home, if a patient refuses, the nurse will walk away and leave the patient to calm down. Then they'll come back and ask very gently if the patiemt will please take this pill. Very often, having got his own way the first time, he's quite happy to comply.

    The same thing happens with food. They never force anyone, but usually everyone gets fed eventually. But it can take a long time!

    Hope you can get your mum's meds sorted out, and some more help for you.

  10. Cliff

    Cliff Registered User

    Jun 29, 2007
    North Wales
    Dear Margarita,

    I know nothing about diabeties but Dee refuses to take water, pills, capsules, - only the smell of gin & tonic evokes a response.

    So can understand your problem, especially after all the loving care you give.

    Stand your ground Margarita - you are a lovely, loving person and you know what you are talking about.

    You have all our love,
  11. alfjess

    alfjess Registered User

    Jul 10, 2006
    south lanarkshire
    Hi Magarita

    I know nothing about Diabetes, but you have nothing to feel guilty about. You have been a star in caring for your Mum.

    It is the support services, who are letting your Mother down, not you.

    Hope Alzheimers can help you get better service.

  12. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    #12 Margarita, Jan 27, 2008
    Last edited: Jan 27, 2008
    Mum woke me up asking what time it was , which was strange , so went down to see her , she had fallen down in toilet siting they with legs cross , if it can't get any worse she was sick .

    She look very dazed , and the toilet room is so small. she could not maneuver her self so good , but done it with the help of Zimmer frame , my arm she gets up .

    I clean her up , she go back into bed , then tell me she wants to wee . angina , so tell her to do it in her pads , where she just lay they , then gets up to go to toilet . where I notice she has done it in pads all over bed .

    (Am home alone every one out :rolleyes:)

    I done her sugar level , as I was wondering if that had anything to do with her being sick , but it was 10. 5 so was OK

    I think mum Kidneys are packing up , as I know that her sister use to be Sick a lot , before she had a diabetic coma . not saying that mum going to have one and I may be wrong , but shall phone doctors or NHS direct to ask .

    then it can all be down to her AZ progressing and ate something that did not agree with her.

    yes mum does take take Gliclazide also Metformin

    what would I do with out you all xx you so good thank- you xx

    Your right . even thought I hate to admite it, as it so hard to undertand how they can do that.
  13. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    Look what I found .

  14. Helena

    Helena Registered User

    May 24, 2006

    No one could possibly fault you in your care and concern for your mother

    However you really do need to stand back and recognise the body breaks down for a reason and we are simply not immortal no matter how much medication we try to throw at things

    You are trying to be King Canute holding back the waves and it cant be done

    If you keep stressing yourself like this its you who will be very ill too and what good would that do your children
  15. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    Dear Margarita.

    I hope you managed to get some sleep eventually. You really need to try to get some help today, your mother is not well at all and too much for you by yourself.

    Love xx
  16. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    I did sleep Ok , but was dreaming so vivid , felt like I had not sleep at all , So I know what your saying, is right Helena as when I am stressed with an issue I can not solve I dream a lot of at night time .

    But I woke up with thinking how frighten mum must be , like Sylvia said . then what hazel said about, if a patient refuses, the nurse will walk away and leave the patient to calm down.

    I done her blood sugar levels which was OK

    So when mum said " why am I being Sick "

    I said to her calmly "" you don't want to know your just get angry with me " , she said no I be Ok you tell me .

    So I said its your kidneys that over the years , years with diabetic your kidneys stop working to good , so can make you vomit.

    she just said "how strange , but I sleep OK "

    As I went of to do her breakfast , came back bless her she said " why am I being Sick " Its your Kidney , I said left it like that .

    making me release , that how I wish could just live in the moment , so would not stress worry about how I am going to push for support .

    yes no what you mean helena when you say " You are trying to be King Canute holding back the waves and it cant be done "

    I am just as frighten , so am stressing what could happen , but they no holding back the progression of deteriation of the diabetic , the damage it done to her system .

    So I am learning thinking of a way to challenge to question the system , without thinking negative. I dealt with coming to
    with mum progression of AZ , now I just have to learn about the progression of the diabetic .

    I can easily say well it better then seeing AZ to the end , but its easy to say that when you have not seem the after effect of someone having kidney failure, becoming comatose , then also having a stroke, so either way her ending of life is not going to be nice .

    then I read this in my horoscope .

    Some people deal with their issues by talking about them openly and honestly. Others stick their heads in the sand. They try not to think - or talk - about the factors that upset or unnerve them. They rather hope that if they ignore all of these, they will go away of their own accord. Sometimes, for a while, it can seem as if such a policy is working. Sooner or later, though, what we don't deal with turns corrosive or explosive. It's far better to face it than sort it out. This week, you are being invited to summon some courage and broach a topic that is difficult or delicate. Don't be afraid.

    that says it all ! I do deal with my issues by talking about them openly and honestly, all this does unnerve me and I am afraid , but shall find the courage to broach the issue with the doctor and nurse , with out stressing :)
  17. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    SW Scotland
    Maggie, well done!

    You've coped with your mum's sickness, her AD, and your lack of sleep single-handed, and managed to come to terms with it all in your own head. You've done so well!:)

    If it's right that your mum's kidneys are failing, then I think it may be time to consider a nursing home for her.

    Fron what you have discovered about end-stage diabetes (and I've no experience of that), it sounds pretty awful on its own. Couple that with late-stage AD, and I'm sure it would be impossible for one person to cope with. It would need a team of professionals.

    Please talk to the doctor about it. I know how much you want to keep your mum at home, but realistically, she's going to need round the clock care, and no one person can give her that.

    Don't wear yourself out, Maggie, your mum would not want that, and your health is so important. You've got a lot of living to do yet, and a lot of trips to Gibraltar!:D

  18. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    You talk to the doctors and nurses Maggie and never forget we are all with you in spirit, even if we can`t be with you in person.

    Love xx
  19. noelphobic

    noelphobic Registered User

    Feb 24, 2006
    Margarita have you looked on the Diabetes UK website for info? They also have a helpline number.

    Telephone: 0845 120 2960, Monday-Friday, 9am-5pm

    I hope things improve soon.
  20. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    What a lovely thought to keep within me thanks :)

    Mum seem in a ryming mood , singing ryming .

    I have been listening to music , listeing to Kiss 100 , they play music called Rehab music on Sunday morning really still my mind, reminding me of the past in Gibraltar with mum & her sister , even thought it was not a nice time . someone told me to get a CD with that music, so play it on my CD walk man while walking looking at the Nature that out they , so it reminded me of the Nature out they, that help me to switch of . Just clear my mind of all Stress. Then saw a program on TV called ""Stress about Stress ""

    One woman said that real stress come from not getting support Now right she was, when I say that and feel like crying like I do now, I know that I need support

    Thanks for all your support , shall ring that number Brenda.

    tomorrow will be better I know , because I'll be phoning every one :)

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