You have to take care of yourself!

[totallyconfused]

I didn't. Im 33 and completely let myself go. Im trying to come back from it now but its tough. I need a lot of dental work, traumatic few days in dentist, infection so lots of antibiotics. Feel so sick and tired. I will be getting partial dentures for the back I think. Not sure how good the front teeth are but will see how it goes. Ive other issues as well and alot contributed to how I let myself go but I just wanted to say mind yourself!! You deserve the best as well!!

My sister helps look after our mother so she's on duty these few days. Hoping to be better soon though. You feel so miserable that you let everyone down.

 

[Philbo]

What's that saying (or is it a song) "It's not where you start, it's where you finish"?

There can be so much in life that stops us focusing on our own health - whether it's our own attitudes in our youth ("I'll worry about that when I am older"), peer pressures, hectic lifestyles, having to care for others, bereavements .... this list goes on!

Some of it is self-inflicted but often, it's down to bad luck or whatever life has thrown our way?

It's good to hear you've managed to start taking actions to get back to better health - as you say though, not easy. Please don't feel that you've let anyone down - having to look after your mother at such a relatively early age has only added to your issues, so you have done well already. It's great that your sister is able to support you both too.

I wish you good luck.

Regards
Phil

 

[totallyconfused]

I remember reading about Michael Douglas and Catherine zeta jones. When he was sick with cancer, Catherine was depressed but hid it. She would later say, something along the lines of, what was I supposed to say? Michael has cancer and I'm supposed to say I feel sad?

That sums up how I have been feeling. After my dad died of oesophageal cancer, my sister stated cancer treatment the week after for non hodgkins lymphoma. Shes better and now helping me to look after our mother. Alzheimhers then took over and various claims we were bullying our mother from other siblings, people not believing us etc. Its been tough and its very very easy to put yourself last when you don't have alzheihmers and cancer. It just is. You do your best for those who need it.

 

[karaokePete]

Hello @totallyconfused, don’t feel miserable about doing your best but sometimes having limits. Instead, take comfort from the fact that you put others first and did your best as that is something so many never do.

With regard to letting yourself go, I did the same at a slightly earlier age. However, once the decision was made I set about sorting things out and never looked back as I managed to achieve so much in the next 40 years. Yes, it was hard, but so worthwhile. I wish you every bit of luck, to which you are entitled, along your journey. The rules of karma will be on your side.

Stay positive, stay strong.

 

[Bunpoots]

We really don't look after ourselves do we? I'm trying to crawl back up now but I'm so used to doing everything for dad, and everyone expecting me to do everything for dad, that when one of his neighbours asked me today how I was coping I didn't know how to answer that question!!!

 

[totallyconfused]

We really don't look after ourselves do we? I'm trying to crawl back up now but I'm so used to doing everything for dad, and everyone expecting me to do everything for dad, that when one of his neighbours asked me today how I was coping I didn't know how to answer that question!!!

I can relate to that.Something similar happened to me. The local shopkeeper asked how I was doing instead of my mother and I didn't know how to answer him. Straight back to small talk, the weather.

I have been having quite a bit of anxiety recently, dreaming that I die the day before my mother. I'm happy doing this for her but it freaked me out a bit and got me going. I'm hoping to get myself to a good level of health and happiness.

thank you Phil and KarokePete for your lovely comments!

 

[MaNaAk]

We really don't look after ourselves do we? I'm trying to crawl back up now but I'm so used to doing everything for dad, and everyone expecting me to do everything for dad, that when one of his neighbours asked me today how I was coping I didn't know how to answer that question!!!

I'm in a similar mode as I transfer from being a carer back into the world of work. However my brothers don't realise I am still looking after dad's money, ensuring that he has all his benefits, making sure I know about his appointments and when it gets colder bringing all his winter clothes to the home. I am also checking on any benefits for myself as I could not advertise my business when I was caring for dad. I am marketing my business as a musician again and finding it difficult but having said that when I was caring for dad I had the fear of him being aggressive with the carers, wandering, falling and not looking after his diabetes. Yes! My finances will be worse but thank goodness I have my savings and I am the only one who can shapr my destiny to a certain extent.

MaNaAk

PS: If only our relatives knew what we really went through as carers!