i've been hearing this for the past 11 yrs since my husbnad was diagnosed with a brain tumour. He's been in remission for a good while, but as he no longer works and I work part time we are together a great deal.
Every few months we have a break from each other for a long weekend.
He catches the bus, and travels to see a friend 2 hrs away and stays with him and his wife.
A few months back he went to Australia to visit his sister and brother for 10 days, and I took 3 weeks long service leave. It was fabulous
But I am also caring for Mum now with AD and more increasingly Dad who has cognitive impairment. They live in their own house behind us.
My only respite is my 3 days at work. Even this is making Mum anxious, as she is at the stage where I seem to be the only one who can put her at ease. She has to have my days at work, marked off on her calendar, and then the days I'm at home.
On 1 of my days off Mum goes to an Alzheimers group for 2 hrs. The other day off I take her grocery shopping. Or either day off may be taken up with hospital or doctors appts.
Dad although with Mum 24/7, gets 4 days a week respite 2-4 hrs at a time from Mum.... I get nothing. My sister won't consider respite care, and the last time she took Mum & Dad for the weekend it was a disaster. Mum is at the stage where familiar surroundings especially at night are best. She also fell getting into the bath.
I find this infinitely harder than caring for my husband.
The " take care of yourself" is a slap in the face at this point in time.