You don't know me

[northumbrian_k]

It will soon be the second anniversary of my wife's permanent move into a care home. After seeing her today I know that this was the best thing that I could have done for her. She seems more content, less restless and less bothered about all the things - real or imagined - that used to upset and frighten her. Our lifetime of shared experiences includes popular songs from different eras. Listening to some of our favourite singers brings me happy memories. Having today been able to give my (gloved) hand to her, I find that this song about unspoken and unrequited love has resonance for our current relationship. She does know me still, I think, but on what level I am no longer sure. Separation is one of the things that one gets used to with dementia and, for the most part, I am beyond feeling sad about it.

 

[Grannie G]

. She seems more content, less restless and less bothered about all the things - real or imagined - that used to upset and frighten her.

This happened with us too and it reassured me I had made the right decision. Like you, I no longer felt upset about it because I could see it was the best for my husband.

He knew me to the end, but again I didn`t probe into what capacity. I was glad of a smile, a kiss and a handhold.

Making the best of a bad situation is as much as we can do.

 

[Lone Wolf]

I think we are the lucky ones where our loved one still recognises us emotionally at least.