You can cope!


Registered User
Apr 10, 2006
Hi everyone
Its been a while since i posted on TP, mainly because since Ray died i feel a bit out of it now, however, i do still read the posts and reply if i feel i can be of any help.

I'm posting tonight because i've read a lot of posts from people who feel they are struggling to cope with the various forms of A.D. and the effects it has on them and their loved ones.

I know its so very, very hard to handle the roller coaster of emotions that this disease inflicts, not just on the sufferer but on the carers too.

My experience was short but traumatic and i must admit that i was not the best at coping with the emotional side of it, but i had no option but to see it through to the end.................. why do we do it?..................... because we love them!
If we the carers can't cope........... where does that leave the sufferer?

If you look back so far, you will surprise yourself at how well you have coped and if your still here caring, then you are coping and will continue to cope no matter what.................why? .............because you love them, thats why!

I dreaded the death, never thought i would cope, its been nearly six weeks since Ray died and its been really tough.........but hey, i'm still here!

I don't mean for this to sound like a lecture, its just to say that we all have an inner strength that sometimes surprises us, sometimes you can't see it until you look back later.

Just remember that carers are a tough lot (Salt of the earth) so don't give up, you can do it!!!!!!!

(Says she who is still up at 3.40am!)
Best wishes
Alex x
Last edited:


Registered User
Mar 16, 2005
Thanks Alex, your post is very much appreciated; a timely reminder for me that we do get through these horrible parts of our lives and come out the other side - perhaps not exactly smiling, but we get through nonetheless.

Dad's in a home so I do not have the practical day-to-day issues but I often feel I am not coping with the emotional part of caring. Thanks again for bringing this to my attention, your words and the deliciously refreshing rain this morning have given me a boost!

Very best wishes are sent back to you. Hazel. x
(Who is also often awake in the early hours! :rolleyes: :) )


Registered User
Mar 13, 2006
hello alex

nice to know your still with us
hopefully my experience will not be as traumatic as yours, but i know its going to be short, and i know if you can go through what you did and come out the other end still coping then i can too.
i think for the past few months ive been on autopilot thats my way of coping.
thanks for your post, very inspiring
take care xx


Registered User
Nov 28, 2005
Hello Alex - it was good to read your post and to hear that you arestill coping. I needed your words this morning for no special reason except just a 'lift' up. I think my husband and I have been handling this slow decline for 7 years now - and yes, somehow we find the inner strength to fight on. Even when the practical difficulties occur (as they frequently do) somehow a solution or help comes from somewhere.

I am sure others will also find that whilst old friends seem to fade away, how others replace them. The new friends are very special as they take us as we are now and that is very important to me.

Waiting for a district nurse to arrive to check David's legs (swollen and the tight socks he has to wear are just too too tight!). I wonder if she will arrive at all on a Saturday!

Anyway best wishes Alex and pleased to see you keeping in touch with us all. Beckyjan.

Tender Face

Account Closed
Mar 14, 2006
NW England
alex said:
i feel a bit out of it now,
Dear Alex, how lovely of you! I often wonder what has happened to some of those 'virtual friends' who leave TP ..... I can understand for some there is a need to 'move on' and for them to do so, 'move away' - yet they have such a wealth of experience to offer (from a tragically different view). So too, I hope they, as you now, appreciate that they are still thought of and much of their pain, experiences, wisdom (including sharing what 'good' there is) live on for those of us still on the journey....

TP is my lifeline at times..... to think of losing it - as well as mum - when that time comes is unthinkable.......

You amazed me and inspired me many weeks ago ... so glad to know you're still around to do it again!

Love, Karen (TF), x

Members online

Forum statistics

Latest member