Yet ANOTHER fall, and in hospital and poorly

Discussion in 'I have a partner with dementia' started by Scarlett123, Nov 19, 2014.

  1. pamann

    pamann Registered User

    Oct 28, 2013
    2,635
    Kent
    I do hope and pray that things will get better for you scarlett, so much heartache for all of us with this awful disease, sending you much love♥♥♥

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  2. Scarlett123

    Scarlett123 Registered User

    Apr 30, 2013
    3,802
    Essex
    I was explaining to a neighbour about the amount of comfort and empathy I get from this site, and I know she just looked at me with an odd look. ;) But, it's true. Nobody, but nobody understands what we go through like our friends on TP. Thank you all so much for your love and support.
     
  3. truth24

    truth24 Registered User

    Oct 13, 2013
    5,725
    North Somerset
    Glad he's back 'home', Scarlett. Hope he settles again and that you both get some peace. Loving thoughts. Verityxx

    Sent from my GT-N5110
     
  4. LYN T

    LYN T Registered User

    Aug 30, 2012
    6,962
    Brixham Devon
    I'm glad that John is back in the CH-what he probably needs now is peace, quiet and his normal routine. I feel so sorry for both of you; no one should have to go through what your poor man did in that Hospital.

    Scarlett, you may feel useless but you are anything but. You have fought for John every step of the way. Never forget that.

    I hope you find John more settled today.

    Love,

    Lyn T
     
  5. Rathbone

    Rathbone Registered User

    May 17, 2014
    2,264
    Female
    West Sussex
    Lyn has said it Verity. Nothing you have ever done for your man is useless; we are battling a demon and that requires enormous determination, strength and love and those you have in bucket loads. It is the cruelest thing and yet here you are, right by John's side as ever, just as we are by yours. Stay strong, dear Scarlet. Now he is back in the CH amongst people who love and care for him, he will be calmer and your presence will be sure to reassure him. You have my hand and my heart. Hold on tightly! X Shelagh:)
     
  6. Teanosugar

    Teanosugar Registered User

    Apr 28, 2012
    107
    Stockport
    Why is everything made so hard?

    It is so annoying that we have to fight and fight for our loved ones rights. They are failing in their duty of care for dementia patients - remind them of this legal point - you become so sick of having to battle every time. I know, I am still battling with another battle to come very soon as time to move to nursing home from care home. I have been left alone with my father for hours in hospital and when I requested could somebody sit with him while I went to the toilet, was told there is nobody spare! I had to go, he got out of bed and fell again, and when I got back I was told your dad has fallen we do not have the staff to sit by him all the time to which I said well I hope you have the staff to mop up the puddles from me if I cannot have a human right of going to the toilet! I love our NHS, but it is failing, but for the love of god if we go into private medicine we will be well and truly in the mire because it is all about making a profit and our dementia loved ones often do not have the money to pay. Hope all comes out well for you, keep fighting x
     
  7. Rathbone

    Rathbone Registered User

    May 17, 2014
    2,264
    Female
    West Sussex
    How are you today Scarlet? Love as always X Shelagh:)
     
  8. truth24

    truth24 Registered User

    Oct 13, 2013
    5,725
    North Somerset
    Wondering too, Scarlett. Hopefully all is as well as can be. Verityxx

    Sent from my GT-N5110
     
  9. Scarlett123

    Scarlett123 Registered User

    Apr 30, 2013
    3,802
    Essex
    Thank you all so much for your kind enquiries. I sat holding John's hand all morning, during which time he opened his eyes briefly, a few times, but there was a complete blank look. I know violence cannot be tolerated, but the word "zombie" is entering my mind constantly when I look at him, and it's unbearable.

    He's holding his side, and one of the carers thought this could be the kidney infection. As he only has one kidney, the other one having atrophied some years ago, I am worried sick as to what happens if this one fails too. :(

    Teanosugar - I read your post in shock, disbelief, and then anger. I'm aware that NHS resources are stretched thinly, but is it too much to ask for a dementia patient to be watched whilst his concerned and caring daughter does a wee? Really?

    I fear John may prove to be too challenging soon, and a move may well be on the cards to a different Home, or sort of Home. I feel that we must just battle, battle, battle for our loved ones, because they cannot speak for themselves, and I'm sure few people in The Real World have a clue what this is like for us.

    Every time the phone rings, my heart goes in my mouth, and I'm constantly on edge. Once again, thank you all for your kind words, thoughts and love.
     
  10. jeany123

    jeany123 Registered User

    Mar 24, 2012
    19,036
    Durham
    Scarlet you have one worry after the other, I am thinking of you both and hope things improve


    Jeany xx
     
  11. Rathbone

    Rathbone Registered User

    May 17, 2014
    2,264
    Female
    West Sussex
    Right beside you Scarlet. Wish that was for real, hey ho! All,love X Shelagh:)
     
  12. WIFE

    WIFE Registered User

    May 23, 2014
    856
    WEST SUSSEX
    Dear Scarlett - thinking of you and John and hoping that the days will be more peaceful for you both.

    Loving thoughts
     
  13. Jinx

    Jinx Registered User

    Mar 13, 2014
    2,333
    Pontypool
    Hope Things are a bit better today and that the kidney issue resolves. Huge hugs.


    Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
     
  14. LYN T

    LYN T Registered User

    Aug 30, 2012
    6,962
    Brixham Devon
    Scarlett, I'm so sorry that you and John are having such a terrible time. His 'blank look' could be due to confusion as to where he is. After his clearly substandard treatment in Hospital, and then returning to the CH, his body could be calling on all of it's reserves to heal.

    Has the CH indicated that John will need to move?

    I hope that today John's blank look will be replaced by a bit more sparkle. Things change so quickly.

    Take care of yourself as well as John.

    Love and hugs to you

    Lyn T XX
     
  15. truth24

    truth24 Registered User

    Oct 13, 2013
    5,725
    North Somerset
    Love to you both, too, Scarlett. Verityxx

    Sent from my GT-N5110
     
  16. Scarlett123

    Scarlett123 Registered User

    Apr 30, 2013
    3,802
    Essex
    John's anti-violence medication caused his BP to drop yesterday evening, so much that he went into a coma. Nobody could wake him, the GP came, and stopped the medication, but when the violence returned later, another med was prescribed.

    On my second visit today, he had a wee bit of colour, still sleepy, but nowhere near as bad as the day before. He did respond to me yelling "open your eyes John", but they still have to feed him and give him a drink, and he is so thin, almost skeletal. I can't believe the weight he's lost.

    Had the first funeral of the week today, the lady was 95, and had a stroke just 4 days before she died. I have another on Friday, a younger man, early 60s. Thanks you all again for your kind messages.
     
  17. Loopiloo

    Loopiloo Registered User

    May 10, 2010
    6,118
    Female
    Scotland
    Scarlett I have just read through your thread and am horrified by what you and John have been through in hospital. Yet not surprised. My husband was in three different hospitals over six months, before then having to go into a care home instead of returning to our home. It was a total nightmare. That was three and a half years ago and I doubt if anything has changed from what he - and I - experienced in hospitals.

    You must be totally exhausted. Silly thing to say, of course you are. Words are inadequate, but thank goodness for TP where you can come and let it out. Yes, only those on TP fully understand.

    Wishing you continued strength through all that is happening. Poor John sounds so frightened, I will never forget my husband's haunted eyes during those bad times.

    It is frightening how swiftly the weight can drop off, my husband lost stones during his ordeals.

    I hope you are managing some rest, sleep, to recharge your batteries.

    With sympathy and love

    Loo xxx
     
  18. Rathbone

    Rathbone Registered User

    May 17, 2014
    2,264
    Female
    West Sussex
    Hello Scarlet. Love to you and John as always, in the midst of all your pain and suffering. My son came today; he is in a very manic phase and the weight has just dropped off him too. He said, however much he eats (mainly chocolate) during such times, he cannot sustain his weight. It's as if the body is fighting itself and burning up fat in the process. I guess for John, he is doing the same in trying to fight the infection and the demon AD. Thinking of you both and holding you in the Light. x Shelagh:)
     
  19. truth24

    truth24 Registered User

    Oct 13, 2013
    5,725
    North Somerset
    Love to you both today as always. Hope it's peaceful. Verityxx

    Sent from my GT-N5110
     
  20. Scarlett123

    Scarlett123 Registered User

    Apr 30, 2013
    3,802
    Essex
    The Care Home Manager completed John's 6 month progress report, and showed me all the tick boxes. Since his admission he needs help to wash, dress, toilet and feed himself, and is dependant on complete assistance to walk. His communication skills have plummeted and his recognition of objects is zilch.

    I was invited, along with all other visitors, to the Christmas Party. This is in a fortnight. When my Mum was in a Care Home, 20 years ago, some of the residents had dementia, but the majority were there because of frailty, loneliness or illness.

    At this Home, everybody has dementia in one form or another. My daughter says she'll come too, but I don't think it's going to be a ball of fun. John seems to be growing more skeletal by the minute, and there's absolute no recognition when he sees me. When he does open his eyes, there is absolute terror in them. This poor, frail, dribbling, comatose figure has nothing at all in common with my husband. Oh God! How I miss my John.

    I wish I could take it away. :(
     

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