jenniferpa said:The other thing you have to understand is the differences in the two medical systems: in the UK the GP acts as a gate-keeper: you don't get to see specialists unless you're referred while in the US (well with my medical insurance anyway) I can see anyone I want without getting a referral. Sometimes we have people posting who have essentially been told by a GP: your loved one has dementia with absolutely NO follow up (it's not supposed to work that way but...) or in fact any indication of why that is. So that's why we sometimes focus on diagnosis: there are things that might be done, and tests that might be run, but we can't assume anything because they don't always GET done.
Also, just to add to the confusion, some of the posters on the board are not native english speakers (or rather, I should say, native english writers).
However, we're getting away from the main issue: your concern for your grandparents and parents. Having spent some one-on-one time with your grandmother you're probably pretty shell-shocked: there is no gentle introduction to the hell of dementia. What do your parents, particularly your father, feel about the whole thing?
Jennifer
You actually have an unusual medical insurance. Most forms require referrals. At least that's so in my experience and especially true with Medicaid as the government pays for that. But I can see how that would be a problem if the insurance was like yours and the GP was a poor and unconcerned doctor.
I'm actually not a native English speaker or writer myself so I understand the limitations of language.
I'm not shell-shocked. I was the first time when I had to stay with her overnight and she had an episode where she had no idea who or where she was and kept asking for her own grandmother. I'm actually pretty angry now. So is my mom. She and grandma have a strained in law relationship and she thinks that grandma is and has been taking horrible advantage of grandpa. But she feels like it's not her place to say or do anything cause she's only the daughter in law. My dad is pretty fed up and worried. He's torn cause he sees that this isn't a viable situation but feels like he can't do anything about it because grandpa is as stubborn as squadron of mules. We all want grandma to be put in a home. Dad has flatly told grandpa that if anything happens to him, she's going to a home. Grandpa didn't like that too much and I think he sort of feels like now he solely responsible for her and maybe like my dad betrayed him a little because the only right way is his way.