Worried

[Angie138]

Hello to everyone!
My mum has just been diagnosed this week, I am absolutely gutted. I am her only surviving child so between me and 1 auntie who is 73 we have been run ragged for weeks with everything that's going on.We have got all the medical ppl in etc but my mum is refusing any medical or any help.Question is this I am her only surviving child do I still need to get power of attorney if required etc she is pretty advanced, there is no problems regards this as my auntie is definitely 100% agreed that I am next of kin.I checked out the prices and its £450 to do the legal part I can not afford this.I have been running back and forth for months via a 3 hour train journey staying with her then coming home to get sleep.She lives on her own I have got every medical person available to come to her house and help but she is refusing all help..I am completely lost as how to proceed now.

 

[Trisha4]

Hello to everyone!
My mum has just been diagnosed this week, I am absolutely gutted. I am her only surviving child so between me and 1 auntie who is 73 we have been run ragged for weeks with everything that's going on.We have got all the medical ppl in etc but my mum is refusing any medical or any help.Question is this I am her only surviving child do I still need to get power of attorney if required etc she is pretty advanced, there is no problems regards this as my auntie is definitely 100% agreed that I am next of kin.I checked out the prices and its £450 to do the legal part I can not afford this.I have been running back and forth for months via a 3 hour train journey staying with her then coming home to get sleep.She lives on her own I have got every medical person available to come to her house and help but she is refusing all help..I am completely lost as how to proceed now.

Hi Angie. I am sorry to hear your situation. I will give you my view and I'm sure someone will correct anything I get wrong. You will need power of attorney but only your Mum can let you do that so she has to be considered of sound enough mind. It is also her responsibility to pay for it. If she can't I think she can get financial help. It must be very difficult if she refuses help. I assume you can't reason with her. Keep posting and you will find all kinds of advice comes your way. Hugs from me x


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[Angie138]

Thankyou

Hi Angie. I am sorry to hear your situation. I will give you my view and I'm sure someone will correct anything I get wrong. You will need power of attorney but only your Mum can let you do that so she has to be considered of sound enough mind. It is also her responsibility to pay for it. If she can't I think she can get financial help. It must be very difficult if she refuses help. I assume you can't reason with her. Keep posting and you will find all kinds of advice comes your way. Hugs from me x


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Hi Trisha,
Thank you for the reply,But my mum refuses to accept that there is something wrong,so I would imagine she would not sign something if she thinks nothing is wrong with her,even thou all medical ppl have said there is.As there is no other person to contest anything as I am the only person left I would imagine power of attorney would not be needed, as no one else to contest anything.Its a mind field anyway I connected with my own Doctor today and he gave me some sound advice. so once again thank you hugs

 

[nellbelles]

I did the LPA myself, we only had to pay to register it.

We told my husband it would stop him having bother with all the silly phone calls, he willingly agreed. Have a little white lie that might work for you Mum?

 

[Beate]

It only costs £450 if you involve solicitors. LPAs can be entirely filled out yourself. It's not difficult and Age UK etc can help you. The only costs then are £110 for registering each one, this reduces to £55 if your mothers income is below £12,000 a year or to nothing if she is on qualifying benefits. The money will come from your mother's assets. Being next of kin is not the same thing and it's not about anyone contesting anything - you need financial LPA to control her affairs and health&welfare LPA to have a say where she lives or how she is treated in hospital. If at all possible, please try to get LPA, it will save you a lot of trouble. You're mother will only have to understand in the moment what she is signing.