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New member
Sep 22, 2020
My wife has been in care home for 2 weeks now, and has really went down hill, had one outside visit which was terrible , as had to be helped outside, by 2 nurses, could only say miss mummy, I know from forum , that some patients take time to settle, Told she was giving sedatives , so they could shower, her, and she fell , can't walk at moment, as got u I, and on antibiotics, every time I phone , terrible on phone, I know mixed dementia, can progress very quickly, but have been looking after her for 18 months at home full time, and she could walk and sometimes, have small conversation, Or was I kidding my self, problem was would not wash, and was scared, she wood end in hospital, got visit today outside with son, hoping for improvement, hopefully , Or is stage 6 , just not realistic, I have m m ,

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
Hello @G67billy. Welcome to Talking Point. I do hope you will find it helpful and supportive.

I understand how distressed you are about your wife being in a care home and how your visits are being affected by the coronavirus.

When my husband first went into a care home and I worried he deteriorated quickly, someone asked me to consider if he had deteriorated because he was in a care home or if I had had to decide on a care home because he had deteriorated.

It does sound as if your wife was at the stage ready for residential care.

It`s very difficult to break the ties especially if you are unable to visit but I would cut down on the phone calls if they are so upsetting to both of you. They might even be causing your wife more confusion.

I hope the visit goes as well as it can.


Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
dont go with great expectations and keep an open mind and at least you will have the support of your son so wont be alone. uti knock them off their feet literally so maybe your wife will show signs of improvement and you always take it out on the closest to you. you did the best you could and still doing it by finding some where safe that can meet her needs. go and visit her with an open mind and stop blaming yourself for something thats not your fault