Worried mum might be sectioned

[Frizbe]

Hi,
my mum has severe dementia and has recently moved from a care home to a nursing home at the request of the original care home. This took months to organise by us and social services and we took the time to move her to be nearer family etc.
she finally moved last week but it turns out the new home wasn‘t fully informed of her condition. She can be aggressive , she walks constantly and is now making a loud groan crying noise which is getting louder everyday and now upsetting other residents. She is also a high fall risk. She’s fallen 3 times in the last week, once with an ambulance being called but thankfully it turned out to be nothing serious.
the home has said they are not sure what to do as if they increase her medication to try and calm her down then she becomes an even greater fall risk.
im terrified they will section her. has anybody else been through this ?

 

[SAP]

Sectioning is not as bad as you may think. My mum was sectioned last October following a sudden aggressive change in her character and her care home could not cope. I won’t lie to you, at the time I was devastated and my mental health took a down turn. However, following an assessment period on a MHSOP ward she was placed in a new home that are able to manage her needs and she is very settled and content at the moment. She still walks a lot and is very vocal about personal care but the staff take this in their stride. I was supported by the hospital social worker to find this placement because they are rare due to mums specific needs. If this happens to your mum it may be in her best interests. Just to add though, if your mums current home was found by a social worker, they should have been very honest and transparent about her care needs and I suggest that any future changes in homes is dealt with in this manner.

 

[Firecatcher]

Sectioning is not such a bad thing and will mean that your Mum will get specialist help in an NHS unit where staff have experience in behavioural problems associated with dementia. Most nurses in nursing homes are not trained in mental health. My Mum is also aggressive and I wish she could be assessed under the mental health act. Instead this is being avoided and in the meantime her behaviour escalates.

 

[Frizbe]

Thank you for reply.

i couldn’t believe when we got to the new home and they said they hadn’t been made aware of some of her more difficult behaviours as this was the main reason for the move as the previous home could not cope.
we found the home but it was organised and funded by SS with obviously needs assessment being done. baffling !
you have put my mind a little at rest and I guess we will see what happens. It’s a rollercoaster of emotions as you think you have sorted something and then you get another phonecall saying it’s still not ok

 

[Firecatcher]

Thank you for reply.

i couldn’t believe when we got to the new home and they said they hadn’t been made aware of some of her more difficult behaviours as this was the main reason for the move as the previous home could not cope.
we found the home but it was organised and funded by SS with obviously needs assessment being done. baffling !
you have put my mind a little at rest and I guess we will see what happens. It’s a rollercoaster of emotions as you think you have sorted something and then you get another phonecall saying it’s still not ok

Yes there’s always something isn’t there. I’ve had a similar experience where my Mum’s behaviour has been downplayed by health and social services.

 

[KPH]

Someone helped me by getting me to think of sectioning as admission to intensive care. Actually they said " if your loved one needed intensive care for a physical reason you wouldn't be saying 'that's ok we'll manage thanks'. "

 

[ambrogio]

Sectioning is not as bad as you may think. My mum was sectioned last October following a sudden aggressive change in her character and her care home could not cope. I won’t lie to you, at the time I was devastated and my mental health took a down turn. However, following an assessment period on a MHSOP ward she was placed in a new home that are able to manage her needs and she is very settled and content at the moment. She still walks a lot and is very vocal about personal care but the staff take this in their stride. I was supported by the hospital social worker to find this placement because they are rare due to mums specific needs. If this happens to your mum it may be in her best interests. Just to add though, if your mums current home was found by a social worker, they should have been very honest and transparent about her care needs and I suggest that any future changes in homes is dealt with in this manner.

I agree with other contributors - my dad was sectioned last year and it was the best thing for him. He got specialist care in a hospital for a short period and then came home with an excellent care package. It can be hard but necessary to let medical professionals intervene as the condition becomes more challenging. I hope all is as well as it can be for you

 

[Susannah10]

I would like to ask what behaviour others think is bad enough to go into a care home. I am early 60s my husband is 67. We are nearly 7 years in now. My husband sometimes will not go to bed so I get no sleep. He is aggressive and threatens violence. He believes he still works and try to get out of the front door so it is frustration as he cannot go out by himself. I take him out but a while after we return he cannot remember he has been out and will keep asking to go out again. I am at the end of my tether. A part of me is afraid of life without him. How do people cope when they are forced to put a relative into care?

 

[Bunpoots]

Hi @Susannah10

It does sound as though your husband is probably ready for a carehome. I know how difficult it is to make this decision. Have you considered respite care to give yourself a break and see how both of you cope with carehome life? You may find it better than you imagine.

I am worried that your husband can occasionally be aggressive and threatening. Do you have a safe place to run to if you need to? Keep your mobile phone charged and with you at all times just in case.
It’s worth speaking to his doctor to see if any medication is available to calm your husband down. Some of his behaviour could be caused by anxiety.