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Worried for my Mum - Doc no help


New member
May 31, 2020
Hi, I am really concerned with my Mum's memory, my Dad has just died and I think he hid a lot from us. Symptoms include having the same conversation over and over and over. Using the telephone to try and turn the TV down, unable to remember what channels TV programmes are on, losing items or constantly moving things. Not remembering to take her tablets (2 every morning) unable to remember if she has taken them. Not eating and lying about what she has eaten. Pouring hot water into the coffee jar when making a coffee, leaving rotten food in the fridge and not seemingly be able to see it. The list goes on and on. I took her to the doctors and he asked like 3 questions, "can you cook and do you eat". Yes answered Mum, but she doesn't, he asked me my name and then asked Mum what my name was, so she had just heard it. He said her memory was 7/10, I don't even know what that means. Does anyone have any suggestions of what or where I can go next, I am so upset and worried and I don't know where to turn. Thankyou


Registered User
Mar 25, 2016
Welcome to the forum @VikiJ you'll find friendly support here. When did you last take your mum to the GP? Memory problems can be caused by other health issues, not just dementia, and it could be that the grief from your dad's recent death is also affecting your mum's behaviour.

I suggest that you keep a written record (diary) of your mum's behaviour on a daily basis and request another GP appointment. The GP can make a referral to the memory clinic/older adults mental health team if they are concerned by your mum's symptoms and other tests such as blood & heart have ruled out any underlying health issues. In some areas people can contact the memory clinic directly for an appointment without a GP referral so worth checking if you can do this. Bear in mind that it can take some time, and quite a few tests, including a CT scan, before a formal diagnosis is made though. You might also want to think about putting lasting power of attorney (LPA) in place if your mum doesn't already have these, and this factsheet about diagnosis might be useful. Keep posting if you have any other questions or need some support: https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/about-dementia/types-dementia/diagnosing-alzheimers-disease


Registered User
Jul 23, 2017
N Ireland
Hello @VikiJ and welcome to the forum. You have come to the right place for information and support.

What you have done is the best thing to do in this situation, that is have a chat with your GP. The diagnosis process will usually start with the GP, although the private medicine route may be used by some. Many treatable conditions, such as depression, stress, thyroid problems, vitamin deficiencies etc., can cause dementia like symptoms so it's important to have a check-up. Please don't cause additional stress by jumping to the immediate conclusion that it's dementia. On the other hand, if it is dementia then a diagnosis may open up support for you. I wonder if another GP is available at your surgery as not all GP may be equally experienced on every aspect of dementia.

Here is a link to a Society Fact sheet about the diagnosis issue. Just click the second line to read or print the document

Assessment and diagnosis (426)
PDF printable version

Now that you have found us I hope you will keep posting as the membership has vast collective knowledge and experience.